If you’re married or in a long-term serious relationship, no doubt you’ve had the talk. You know the one I’m talking about. No? Sure you do. The “What if something were to happen to me and I was no longer here to kiss your face every morning?” aka the “What if I get hit by a bus?” conversation. Yeah, that one.
There are the obvious instructions regarding cremation or burial? In this day and age, someone should be told where you keep all the user names and passwords. Where you hide the dark chocolate. And then of course that all important question of whether you want the remaining partner to go on with their lives and find someone new or maybe you want them to pine away for the rest of their lives mourning your loss. The list could be endless depending upon how
much of a control freak organized you are.
I’ve given My Harley Stud very specific instructions should I go to meet my Maker before him. It’s really a very simple request. I don’t want to burden him at what will surely be the worst time of his life.
I’ve requested that every time someone comes up to him at the funeral and says, “She was such a nice person”, he’s to say, “Yeah and she was really great in the sack too.”
What’s so hard about that? He says that there’s no way he can fulfill my request. I argue that he must not REALLY love me then. He counters with, “Can’t you just see poor little, old Mrs. Jones from church come up and say, ‘Oh MHS, SMB was such a dear, sweet thing. You know she brought meals to my home after my surgery.’ Now how am I going to look her in the eye and say, ‘She was great in the sack too!’ She’ll have a stroke!”
Clearly the man doesn’t love me as much as I thought he did. And after giving him the best years of my life.
I guess I’ll keep him though. It’s too late to train another one. *sigh*
Don’t tell MHS but I know he could NEVER say something like that to anyone at such an occasion. But the beautiful thing is that every time someone does say something nice about me (and they WILL say nice things, dammit, because I’m so pure of heart and all) he will remember my instructions and………….. he will smile.
And for the record, I'm not going anywhere any time soon.....................unless I get hit by a bus.