Monday, May 24, 2010


Sweet Corn

We had corn on the cob for supper on Saturday night.  Newsworthy?  I guess not but it was the preparation of the sweet corn that brought me back to the keyboard. 

I was born and raised in Indiana.  And while the theme song for Indiana’s Department of Tourism is “There’s more than corn in Indiana”, I still can’t see an ear of corn and not think of home. 

Sitting in a lawn chair with a grocery bag at my feet, I began to shuck the husks from the corn and place them in the bag.  Birds were singing their early-evening song and the neighbor’s dog was barking.  I pulled the silk away from the rows of kernels and tried to shake them off as they clung desperately to my fingers.  Doing this simple task that I’ve done again and again since I was about six or seven, evoked memories of a simpler time. 

We had a huge garden behind our house when I was a girl.  While it sat on our property, the garden was shared by my aunts, uncles and grandparents.  I spent many of my childhood summer days sitting in the yard with my mom, aunts and cousins while we shucked corn, snapped beans or shelled peas. 

I was always a chatterbox but I learned early on that if I was very quiet, my mom and aunts would forget that I was there and the discussion would change from the weather and social functions to “the good stuff.” 

So once again, I sat quietly shucking the corn we were to have for supper and the memories flooded back to keep me company and make me smile.

What takes you back? 

Saturday, May 15, 2010


HORTON2 “I say what I mean and I mean what I say.”

So when I say cookie, it might mean a glass of wine.  Or it could mean ice cream.
I have been know to say cookie and mean an ice-cold Corona with lime.  A cookie could even mean shrimp scampi over linguini.

COOKIE = anything that I consider a treat.

The dogs know that when I say, “Do you want a cookie?”, they are really getting a dog biscuit or one of those little rubber meat treats.

It’s really very simple.

Just so we’re clear…….

“I say what I mean and I mean what I say.”

Smart Mouth Broad

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


……You progress at least five feet.  Six for some people.

no quitting Failure.  Utter and complete failure.  This is what I’ve experienced.  *sigh*

I created this blog almost two years ago upon realizing that I am up midlife creek without a xanax.  Suddenly, I am no longer the kid in the room but instead am often referred to as the old lady.  (Seems some people have forgotten their Southern manners.)  Amid accusations from my physician of pre-menopause, pre-diabetes, pre-hypertension and pre-meditated murder, it was also suggested that losing a few pounds would definitely be in my best interest.  Well, I never!……..yeah, right.  Like that was a news flash.  Just because I weigh more than I did at nine months pregnant…….Crap!  Did I just say that out loud?  Let’s just forget that I mentioned that little tidbit, OK?

Anyway, the point is that we are two years down the road and where am I?  Right here mired in the same muck, that’s where. 

Ever the cock-eyed optimist, I’m not giving up.  Quit is not in my vocabulary but I am stuck. 

Things were going well until Thanksgiving.  Yes, I know that was months ago.  And I’ve used the past few months to completely undo any progress I’ve made. 
Let’s review:
  • I was exercising regularly.
  • I was eating healthy.
  • I was taking the handfuls of supplements that my physician recommended.
  • I turned my bloodwork around and in fact became the poster child for fish oil.
Then the holidays came and went and with them went my will power.  Life became more stressful and I caved.  There has been some un-be-loggable happenings going on at work. And we all know that the economy has struck fear in the hearts of every home in America, mine being no exception.  And so a reward/consolation system was established.
  • Have a bad day at work = have a cookie
  • Have a great day at work?  Celebrate = have a cookie
  • Car trouble = cookie
  • broken nail = definitely cookie time!
  • Daughter #1 gets great job = cookies all around
  • Daughter #2 gets into the major of her dreams = you got it….cookies….with sprinkles!
And so you see the problem.

I want to move forward in a positive way.  I want to lose weight, eat right, exercise and become the best SMB I can be…….and all that crap I said in my very first blog post here two years ago but where to start?
Low fat?  Low Carb?   Raw?  Points?  Zones?  Whole grains?  Botox?  Kick box?  (See how I rhymed there?  Brian will be so proud.)  Or just ditch it all and have plastic surgery.  A body replacement.  They can do that now, right? 

What to do?  I’m at a loss.  I’m turning to you, my trusted friends.  Where to begin…again?

I’m waiting………….