Monday, July 26, 2010
The problem with mid-life blogging is that after you’ve been doing it for a few years you forget what you’ve already written. Or at least I forget. So stop me if I’ve already told you this one…..
Several years ago, I was hired by a local bank as a Notary Public. The bank’s policy for non-payment of rental for the safe deposit boxes was to hire a locksmith to drill the boxes open and a non-employee Notary to witness the contents of the box.
Stop and think for just a moment how exciting this could be. The possibilities are endless. What would be in the next box? Or the next one? Of course I was young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. I didn’t give any thought to the reality that said if one couldn’t afford the box rental, the odds that one would forfeit whatever treasure might have been kept in the box was unlikely. Most of the boxes were empty. There were a few that held some legal papers. No diamonds, no letters filled with dirty, little family secrets, no gold bars, no stocks, bonds or guns.
However there was one box………..
The unit was drilled, the top lifted and inside we found something wrapped in aluminum foil. Yes, that’s right. ALUMINUM FOIL. All crinkled and tightly wrapped around what appeared to be an oblong object.
Now this was the excitement I was counting on when I took the job. Whatever could be inside the shiny wrappings? The two bank employees, the locksmith and I held our collective breathes as the foil was carefully opened to reveal ……………………………………….…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… A BAKED POTATO!
What the …..?
Oh of course we had to pick it apart. Did some crazy nut case hide a huge gem inside the potato? Did a double-agent use the potato to plant his micro-film?
Nope. It was just a potato. Who does that? And why? To this day, I still think of that stupid potato and wonder……
What do you think?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
For over a year now, I have been chained to the wall. Specifically to an electrical outlet. My old workhorse, Hilda, the laptop began telling me ages ago that her power source was failing. In true SMB fashion, I comforted her with phrases only a mother can appreciate like, “Shake it off, keep moving, keep breathing.” and “Put on your big girl panties, Hilda, and tough it out!”
Family members will tell you that I can be ridiculously cheap about the silliest of things at times. I like to think that I live by Murphy’s law……or was it Whistler’s mother? …..anyway…”If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” And then I take it one step further to, “If it is broke but still works, use it until it’s really DEAD!”
Well, I finally broke down and ordered a new battery for dear Hilda and suddenly it’s Spring time in SMBland. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, roosters are crowing, goats are bleating. Hey, that’s spring-time in SMBland. We live in the country.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached cruising altitude and are free to move around the cabin. So don’t be surprised if you hear more from me. I can take this sucker just about anywhere now. You never know when the mood will strike to write some amazing bloggy tidbit and Hilda will be right there at my side like a loyal lady in waiting.
LONG LIVE HILDA! BOOYAH!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I’ve told you about my music wars with NoleBoy, about playing SmartAss with him by text while he was in class and our fun at Parent’s Weekend. My Harley Stud and I love NoleBoy. He is smart, a gentleman and a responsible young man. He comes from a very nice family and has been raised with a value system similar to ours. Simply put: He’s a good guy.
What I haven’t told you before now is that Daughter #1 is in a relationship with NoleBoy’s older brother whom we shall refer to from this point forward as NoleBoy Too (who, by the way is also smart, a gentleman and a responsible young man).
It was last October: FSU’s Homecoming. Both D1 and NoleBoy Too are FSU alumni. It’s kind of funny but while they went to different high schools, they still have many friends in common. They went to the same college at the same time and even lived in the same apartment complex and yet…….they never met. That is not until they both returned to FSU for Homecoming. They spent the weekend with their siblings and hit it off as friends. Once they both returned to Palm Beach County, their friendship blossomed into something more and by Christmas they too had become an item.
At first D2 and NoleBoy #1 weren’t thrilled with this new development. They worried that if the older sibs had a terrible break-up, it would make things awkward between the families. Eventually they relaxed and started having fun with it.
It does make things interesting.
While neither couple is ready to make any life-long commitment, it’s fun to think about the what-ifs.
- At this rate, all of my grandchildren (should there be grandchildren) could have the same last name.
- Having only one set of in-laws to work with makes for easier holiday event planning/child sharing.
- Double wedding? Oh my!
- It’s fun to hear the stories that the siblings tell on each other.
- The level of competition when playing Wii Wii has increased tenfold.
Oh and the NoleBoys have a sister who is NB1's twin. I guess MHS and I really dropped the ball by not providing her with a date too.
Monday, July 5, 2010
My head is spinning. I have so many things to talk about. (Not the least of which is how ending a sentence with a preposition has become commonplace not only in everyday conversation but also used frequently by my favorite authors. So I’m thinking…….if it’s good for the goose……well….you know.)
Now that we’ve established the fact that I’m no longer going to squirm in my seat at the utterance of a grammatical error, there are more critical topics to discuss. Almost two years ago I established this blog with a brilliant plan. I would blab perfect nonsense about my life, my observations and philosophies all under the pretense of dispensing wisdom into the interwebbiworld. Hoping, of course, that you would comment back with your undeniable ingenuity, insight and intellect and I would benefit from
free therapy your advice. ……..And it has worked like a charm. Thank you very much.
I see no reason at this point to make any changes to the business plan.
That being said, there are so many problems to solve, important issues to discuss, revolutions to start…..but where to begin? Unemployment rates, the BP oil disaster, the ugliest shoe trends in the history of women’s fashion? Pro-life, pro-choice, world peace? The rising cost of chicken breast? What is that about? Where do we start?
At the beginning, of course.
Maybe you’ve noticed my absenteeism over the past few months. It seems that real life keeps getting in the way. And that would be great if the interruptions were caused by the FUN STUFF. Sadly, that is not the case. My life has become a task-driven monotony. One great, big, long to-do list. I keep finding myself thinking that “when this is all over I’m going to __________” (fill in the blank with the FUN STUFF). It has slowly dawned on me that “this” is never going to be over and I better start enjoying the journey or the only accomplishments I will have made in my life are those little check marks in my task list. *Curse you, Microsoft Outlook!*
I guess I’m a bit of a slow learner. The end of this year will mark a very significant anniversary of my birth: I’ll be …..49….again. *Ahem* It’s time to wake up and smell the freshly-ground Hazelnut flavored coffee! Get with the program. Get on the stick. Just do it. And all that crap.
Right here. Right now.
The TO-DO list be damned. I’m going to start smelling the roses. All I need is some advice…..from you. We may need to create a 12-step program for this. Check-lists anonymous? What do you do to break away from the tasks at hand? Do you make sure that you’re taking the time to LIVE your life and not just spin your wheels? Or are you in the same boat with me?
Let’s start enjoying this journey called life. Let’s work together to ensure that we are getting the most out of whatever time we have here on earth. Let’s squeeze out every bit of joy that we can.
Who’s with me?
OK, here’s where you do your part: You comment back to me with your wise counsel, I benefit from said counsel, you get to feel good about doing something for another human being and the plan is a success. Ready…..set…..GO!