Friday, January 14, 2011

PROMISES, PROMISES

Promises, Promises
I know that I promised Words of Wisdom every day here in these pages so that YOU could benefit from my mistakes learning and failures experience.  But the beauty of being fifty is that it comes with the gift of discernment.   Fifty means you have the ability to know which promises to keep and which ones to well……..pretend to forget that you made.  There, I said it.  Consider yourself blown-off.  Rude?  Maybe.  But come on in.  Sit down and I’ll pour the wine and we can talk about it.  I’m certain that when we’re through thanks to the wine and just the right amount of BS,  you will come to see things my way. 

You see, some days just turn to (for lack of a better word) poop.  Up becomes down.  Right is now left.  Slow is fast.  Pink is orange.  And pink should NEVER be orange!   Some days, the only promise you can manage to keep is to love, honor and *cough* obey  your beloved spouse.  And even that is a struggle because those little voices in your head keep telling you to kill him in his sleep.

Life can get rough, dammick!  I’m not whining.  OK, I am whining.  But it is justifiable whinification, I tell you.  And speaking of wine, may I pour you another glass?

Cheers!   *glasses clink*

Where was I?  Oh yes.  I’m not going to go into details because who wants to hear that!  The only thing worse that listening to someone whine and complain (no matter how justifiable) is to listen to them whine and complain in detail.  I much prefer to be vague and mysterious.  *Imagine dreadful situations and feel terribly sorry for me.  Send cards, letters, cash. And I’ll just keep quiet about how I was unable to get my pedicure, I’m out of coffee cream and my brakes are squeaking.*

Oh dear, it appears that we’ve drained the bottle.  Are you OK to drive home?  No?  No worries, just lie down and take a little nap here on the sofa.  I’ll just tuck you in with my favorite snuggly throw. 
So, we’re OK now, right?  You completely understand about the whole promise breaking debacle?  Great!  Now just rest here and when you wake, I’ll fix some biscuits and gravy to send you on your way. 

Todays Words of Wisdom aka WOW are:  “When you’re going through hell, keep on going.  You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.”
Isn’t he a cute country boy?

15 comments:

Pearl said...

I think I got another bottle around here somewhere...

:-)

Pearl

formerlyonlyamovie said...

I rarely drink as much wine as I'm due.
I was surely in hell this week, and hardly alluded to it (publicly, at least...) How did you know??
Your sofa is looking really great right about now.
Plus, it's warm there. Here? 13 degrees.

xoxoxo

Brian Miller said...

keeoing the pedal to the floor...

Ashley.SoItGoes said...

All I heard was "blah blah blah. I'm making biscuits and gravy in the morning" True story?!?

Deb said...

Yes, pour me another glass and I'll help you make the biscuits in the morning. Promise!

~SwAmPy~ said...

I'm off to get some cheese and crackers . . .
As far as Rodney goes, he is a long cool drink of water . . .or however that sayin' goes.
Saw him in concert at Country Jam. Those legs go all the way up to his armpits.

Arkansas Patti said...

You didn't break your promise, just bent it a little and when you reach ----- you need to work on flexibility.

fabulously 40 said...

wow...biscuits and gravy and wine. where else but in the south can someone know that hot biscuits and gravy make everything better? also mac and cheese but hey... as far as the wine goes...i really need to find some i like. the biscuit and gravy thing is great but wine is less calories. Whining??? isn't that what blogs are for....go for it baby...and as far as your cute country boy....uh huh....i'm go through hell to see him without his shirt on....or pants....or socks...damn...i need another biscuit.

Reader Wil said...

Good advice smart girl!!

JeanMac said...

I could enjoy a good glass of red

WhiningBecauseICantWineAnymore said...

I never expected you to keep THAT promise, but I knew you'd give it a great try. You don't need wine to smooth things over and make us still love you......really, you don't.

Gaston Studio said...

Give me a good bottle of dry red and I'll listen to anything... at least once.

DuchessOmnium said...

You can pour me another glass any day...

Jason, as himself said...

What? You're FIFTYYYYY?

Tony Letts said...

hic* loved the wine not sure about biscuits and gravy but sounds like a food adventure which I should try