Wednesday, February 23, 2011

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

newspaper

The bad news:  I haven't been tracking my food intake for the last few days.

The good news:  I lost a pound. 

The bad news:  I have diverticulitis.

The good news:  I don't have colon cancer.

The bad news:  I am on a liquid diet for the next few days.

The good news:  I will probably lose more weight.

My question:  Does anyone know how many Weight Watchers plus points are in the barium prep you drink before an abdominal CT scan?  

Woe is me and all that whiney crap.  I’m home sick for bed rest and on television overload.  Truthfully, I’m delighted.  I’ve never been so happy to have a disease.  Since my beloved mother, Lucy, died from colon cancer, the last thing I wanted to hear is that I have something wrong with my colon.  To say I was a little freaked is an understatement of gigantic proportion.  Every time the doctor left the exam room for this thing or that I was in tears with total illogical paranoia.  By all accounts, what I was suffering appeared to be diverticulitis but other more serious problems couldn’t be ruled out until a CT was performed.  And that’s what had me shaking in my 3 inch heels. I must have said to myself, “Come on Smart Mouth, pull it together.” no less than 100 times. 

In the end, I was diagnosed with diverticulitis but I feel blessed.  I’m more than a little sad about saying goodbye to some food favorites for the rest of my life but grateful that is all that is wrong with me. 

The bad news:  I am on two very strong antibiotics, one of which has some pretty strict restrictions.  The following is the conversation I had with my boss/doctor.

DR:  “OK, I spoke with the GI specialist and she said that you do need to take both antibiotics.  You will need to fill the second prescription.  The thing is; with this one, you can’t drink anything.”

SMB:  “Nothing?”

DR:  “Absolutely nothing.  I’m serious.  If you drink even a sip, you can become very ill.”

SMB:  “Not even water?”

DR:  “No, you can have water.  I mean alcohol.  I’m serious.  Not even a beer.”

SMB:  “Uh, OK?”  looking a bit confused.  “I wasn’t really planning on drinking anyway.”

DR:  “REALLY!  I’m serious.  No wine, no beer.  AT.ALL!

SMB:  “OK, OK.  It’s not like I’m an alcoholic or anything.  What do you think of me?”

DR:  “I’m just sayin’.”

Is it a bad thing when your boss thinks you’re an alcoholic?

15 comments:

Brian Miller said...

lol on the boss chat...well i am glad its not the other...rest well...and have someone hit the redbox for you ...tv sucks...

Linda said...

Well, I'm glad it's 'good' news. LOL @ your boss. Mine told me today that he'd pick up some wine for me (after a bad day).

only a movie said...

You must be so relieved. Rest up, and enjoy the heck out of your television watching...

Take care of yourself. xoxoxo

ToastedInTXJust4U said...

Never fear my dear,
your good friend is here.
I'll be thinking every minute of you,
as I'm sacrificially drinking for two.

tulpen said...

My condolences about the alcohol being removed from you life...is this a permanent state of affairs, or will the wine be allowed to return?

Speedy Lady said...

I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well. Now you can get some well-deserved rest.

Hugs,
Tresa

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

You do know that is what I had don't you, SMB? Diagnosed at your age..and two years ago this coming Sept. is when I lost a foot of my colon. No cancer, but losing a foot made a difference, that's for sure. I won't go into details..but do exactly what they say. Don't be tempted by anything NOT on that list. Believe me. I didn't eat nuts...and did try to be careful but in our world it isn't easy.

I also was afraid of colon cancer as I had lost a dear friend of it. The last thing she did for me on this earth was to call me and tell me shortly before she died and begged me to get a colonoscopy. I did, and like you, I got the same diagnosis.
Do be careful...take what you must eat as seriously as if they had told you that you had cancer!! I know that sounds awful but it may save your life.
Many hug, my friend.
Mona

Reader Wil said...

I can imagine that you have been worrying lately. I am sorry that you had such a bad time. I had no idea. I read that diverticulitis is quite common. I think I have a few symptoms indicating that I am developing pouches here and there.
Well I wish you a lot of strength to face the diet.

Tony Letts said...

You don't want to get too friendly with your Doctor. Best to avoid them :)
I went to see the Shrink and told him I thought I was a dog. He said to lie down on the couch. I said I wasn't allowed on the couch

jeanmac said...

Dear friend, I am so happy for good news for you!

injaynesworld said...

Barium prep -- there are two words you could live your whole life without hearing. The worst! I have diverticulitis, but I haven't had any attacks in several years and I eat pretty much what I want, so I guess I'm lucky. So happy that's all it is for you, too.

Enjoy relaxing while you have the chance, my friend.

DuchessOmnium said...

Sounds like mostly good news to me! I was going to suggest cracking open the bottle of champagne, but...

dana said...

It's good news for sure. At age 39 I had to have my entire colon removed. The good news for me was NO MORE COLONOSCOPIES! Ya gotta look for some good in the middle of the bad.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Not a huge fan of Vera Bradley prints but I did like this one and the pockets grabbed me...:)

SMB..I just had one of those scans and they didn't make me drink that stuff...
Do everything they tell you. Change your diet...anything...just don't lose a foot of your colon like I did last year. Please!!
I dodged the cancer bullet too..but now I am in constant fear of being away from a potty...and have to plan ahead..
At least I didn't lose the entire thing.
Now I have to have a colonoscopy every few months...but found a doctor that does them in the most amazing way.
Went in...started an IV...got all into my gown..wheeled into a small room and had the blood pressure cuff put on me..was watching the moniters when a nurse suddenly showed up and handed me my clothing..and shoes..said can you dress yourself as she helped me up. I ...said..sure! (wondered why they didn't do the colonoscopy!) but didn't say a word.
Wheeled me out to my husband..out to the car we went. Got in the car and yelled...THEY DIDN'T DO IT!! :):) grinned me. He burst out laughing and said...yes they did!
They said you would say this...but look in that envelope they gave you..
Never knew a thing. Never closed my eyes that I knew of...
So..what that good news or not! Never knew what hit me.
And the barium...are sure you have to drink that? MAYBE...I just don't remember..LOL

Kathy said...

I was in the ER Christmas Eve with what turned out to be early diverticulitis. And they gave me the same meds. New Year's was a hoot at my house, let me tell you! Hope you're feeling better and back up to your normal alcohol intake lol