Friday, April 15, 2011

GETTIN' SMARTER EVERY DAY….. OR SUPER POOPER POWER

OK, So I really didn’t think it would be this long before I made it back to this place.  All I have to say for myself if that I did cross over to the dark side and let it suffice to say that my life has been forever changed.  I used to scoff, sneer and roll my eyes at all those iphone people and their love for an electronic device.  Ya’ll know that I cherished my “crackberry” but they were ridiculous.

……and now I’m one of them.  *sigh*

So many apps, so little time and there you have it:  I’ve been busy.  My apologies.

A few days ago, it occurred to me that my name is even more misleading than previously believed.  Most people only use their first name but in my case you have to use my first, middle and last name to get the whole picture of who I am.  Allow me to explain:

SMART.MOUTH.BROAD

If you only consider my first name, it implies that I’m intelligent, someone whose opinion is to be respected.  But you must add the middle name to discover that is not necessarily the case.  It’s not  that I’m stoopid or anything but I’m just sayin’.  And then of course when you add in the last name, gender is discerned and that IS important.

Still some people remain confused.  Even my own daughter who knows me better than most has fallen victim to this misconception.  She sent me a text on Monday morning that read: “Any words of wisdom from a Smart Mouth Broad?”

This got me thinking.  I need to up my game.  I’ve got to become smarter.  I need to put that slimy blob of intellect inside my skull to work.  After all, I’m not 49 anymore.  Wisdom should be something that falls easily from my lips, not just something that I profess with tongue in cheek smartarsiness.  And so, the quest for knowledge begins.

I work from home on Fridays.  This morning found me on the couch watching a segment on Live with Regis and Kelly that included worm castings.  Worm castings?  Yep.  That’s what I said.

What are worm castings?  Not the actions of fly fisherworms like I imagined.  No, it’s worm poop.  What, you ask, does one do with worm poop?  Fertilizer, of course.  Who knew?  Certainly not me.

There is so much I don’t know.

Like for instance:
  • Worms are so small.  Even if they are made up of 100% poop, how long does it take a worm to produce a decent size bag of fertilizer?
  • Dare I even think about how you collect worm poop?
  • And who has this job?
  • Once I get answers to all these questions, how am I going to work this into witty dinner-party conversation?
So I did a little research and it seems that earthworms (apparently they make the best poop) do nothing more than eat, have sex and poop.  What a life!   It’s not clear if they sleep or not but so far, it sounds like a pretty good gig.  Don’t take my word for it, though.  Watch this:



Now don’t ever say that you didn’t learn anything from me.


I have to run.  My iphone is charged and it’s my move in Words with Friends.  I’m becoming quite the intellectual, right? 

Love and hugs,
SMB

14 comments:

Brian Miller said...

so when they say "you worm!" i should be happy right?

formerlyonlyamovie said...

Hey there. So good to see you in my google reader! I have to check out Words w/ Friends on iPad... I wouldn't mind playing. School vacation has started.
xoxo

Speedy Lady said...

When I started my current job 10 years ago, I learned all about earthworms and the wonderful "thing" they create with their poopy. In the business ( ha ha) we call it, "gardeners gold". I work for a government office whose purpose is to educate the public about recycling, reuse, composting, proper disposal, etc. I actually started my own worm composting bin (in a rubbermaid container). My little worms apparently didn't like the living conditions as a large number of them committed suicide by escaping. I would find them stuck in the carpet, smooshed on the kitchen floor...I know, gross! So, I decided to leave the worm composting to the professionals. Still, it was fascinating and amazing to see what they produced from a little shredded newspaper and some banana and potato peels.

Glad to see a new post from you!

Linda said...

Well, now I just can't wait to meet you! I'll be so smart! LOL!

Tony Letts said...

The iPhone is the iThief of time :)

JeanMac said...

Veryyyyy impressive. Happy Easter.

Debbie said...

You have become practically Mensa material! Glad you are enjoying your new toy. I'm still resisting - so far:)

Ted Bear said...

Just don't drop your iPhone into a pile of poop.. LOL

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Oh dear! My 93 year old uncle raises worms...not sure if he save their poop or not..but would not be surprised. He's s country boy...you know.
How all is well with you and yours!
Hugs,
Mona

Kathy said...

Way more than I ever thought I'd know about worms. Thank you! And since I'm only 45, it probably would have taken me at least another 5 years to figure that out on my own ;-)
love the iPhone, the iPad is even better. I have i-envy... but I do love my android!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Well..I would never would have said I never learned anything from you. I've learned lots. Yes, indeed. I just learned tonight one of the things that takes you from blogging... :) Words...is that some sort of game. (I am SO far behind the times...)

Reader Wil said...

Wow, that was interesting! We have had a compost bin in the garden for many years now, which is open at the bottom. Any weeds, vegetable leftovers or other food will be thrown into this bin. At the end of a year I get beautiful black soil under all the rubbish, thanks to the invisible worms! Thank you for this great video! And thanks for your visit to, for I missed you too!

Reader Wil said...

I wrote a comment yesterday, but I don't see it here. Your post about the worms is very interesting.
I am glad you are back! And thanks for the visit.

Vodka Mom said...

worm be thy name.