JUST THINKING

I have a lot of half written posts on the back burner but can't seem to find the concentration it would take to focus on any one topic right now. I've decided instead to regale you with some of the lunacy random thoughts that go through my head in a day. I must warn you, after reading this; you may wish that you were me because life is a kinder, gentler place when you're slightly off-balance to have me committed. You'll have to catch me first. And I'm a slippery little sucker.

I subscribe to the feeds from our local paper, The Palm Beach Post, in my Google Reader. I came across an article today that announced the date, time and location that the police will have a DUI check this weekend. Is it me or doesn't this announcement defeat the whole purpose? If I were planning to go out and have myself a good time and then be stupid and irresponsible enough to get behind the wheel (not that I would do that sort of thing), I think I would still be smart enough to avoid the checkpoint. I think this is a complete waste of my tax dollars. I much prefer a surprise attack. I think I'll write my councilman or maybe run for office. Don't forget I had that grass-roots effort back in October and came "this" close to being named as the Presidential candidate for the SmartAss party.

I realized today that the goats next door are even more excited to see me return home than my own dogs are. I'm going to have to start giving the dogs carrots too. Does anyone know where I can get a lot of carrots cheap?

I found this gem in Quotes of the Day. I love it:

"The rule is perfect: In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane."

Putts Law

Daughter #2 is home on Spring Break. She tells me that the great thing about living in South Florida is she doesn't have to go anywhere else. She already lives in a tropical paradise. I think she's had a little too much sun.

I can't remember to take my memory-enhancing supplements. If I could remember to take them, I wouldn't need them.

I love daylight savings time. But I hate springing forward. I love falling back. I have an idea for a solution. I think that we should fall back an hour each November. And spring ahead a whole day every 24 years. I know. I think I'm a genius. I am going to send a tweet to President Obama. He follows me, you know.

A couple years ago, there was a Starbucks billboard along the turnpike which I passed on my commute everyday. I could sometimes smell the inviting aroma of fresh coffee just as I aproached the billboard. The area where the billboard is located is not near a Starbucks store or any type of food or beverage service business. It's not really near anything. And yet, at least once a week, I would smell coffee when I passed. The billboard was changed about a year ago. I haven't smelled coffee while passing that area since. Weird, huh? Or maybe it's some sort of evil coffee propaganda to convince me to stop at the next exit for tall skinny cappuccino.

I want a Wii. And then I want the Wii fit. And then I want that extra battery charger thing. I'll want games of course. I'll have to have an extra remote. Oh and another nunchuk. (whatever the heck that is) And therein lies the problem.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk.

I twitter. Do you? I don't facebook, I don't myspace but I tweet on twitter like nobody's business. There is a small group of tweeters whom I play SmartAss (a trivia game) with every weekday morning at around 9:30 am EST. (I'm working as are some of the other players so we don't always start on time) We would love it if you'd join us. Well, I would love it. You see, my Tweets, they're getting a little cocky. They win all too often. They need some more competition. Come on, aren't you dying to show off your inner SmartAss? Follow me on twitter at SmartMouthBroad. You also need to follow the other players. It's a lot of fun and a great distraction for your morning coffee break. Have I convinced you yet? I knew you couldn't resist. Here's what to do:

1. If you aren't already on twitter, go to twitter.com and sign up. It's free.
   
2. If you're already tweeting. Follow these players:
   

• Midlife_Slices
  
• Nothing_Fancy
  
• SnowWhitePlus76
  
• Chasaveen
  
• Auntchrisbronx
  
• NewYorkBabe
  
• MidlifeMama (She rarely shows……………….something about a job and all. Gosh)
  
• JansSushiBar (Jan hasn't played yet but we're working on her inner competitor)
  

It's quick and fun. Come join us. Game on!

SMART MOUTH BROAD TURNS SMART ASS

We love games. My family loves board games, car games, trivia games, any kind of game. And we are fiercely competitive. D2 brought a new game to the table over Thanksgiving break in North Carolina. Smart Ass. The tag line is Even if you're a Dumb Ass you can win! We loved it. By the time the holiday weekend was over, we were all hooked. When Christmas break arrived, we were all excited to be able to see who is the biggest Smart Ass again. I was even more excited on Christmas morning when D2 presented me with a Smart Ass page-a-day calendar.

It wasn't long before D1 went back to NC and her teaching job, D2 and Noleboy returned to school in North Florida and alas I had to return to work as well. It gives me great pleasure each day to turn to the next page on the calendar and see if I'm a Smart Ass or a Dumb Ass. On the first day the kids were back in school, without warning, I texted the three of them the first clue. It was: "I am a sportsman."

Nole Boy quickly responded: "Huh?"

I got nothing from D1 or D2. I followed with: "I am a triathlete." Nole Boy caught on and began to send guesses. D1 eventually started texting her replies. (She has a planning period during this time) Unbeknownst to me, D2 and Nole Boy were in the same class. Her phone was in her purse and sitting on the floor so she didn't hear or feel the vibrations from the texts. Afterall it was the first day of class and she was trying to pay attention. She kept noticing that Nole Boy was texting all throughout the class. Finally she turned to him and said, "Who are you talking to?"

He smiled and said, "I'm playing Smart Ass with your mom." D2 was immediately jealous until she looked at her phone and saw that the clues were being sent to her too. She began to play. Nole Boy won that day. The answer was Lance Armstrong. The kids are pretty evenly matched. Each of them has won several times.

I've started instant messaging the clues to the receptionist in my office too. A marketing rep came in for a visit today and requested that she be included too. I decided to take the competition one step further and send it on Twitter. Nothing Fancy was quick to jump on board. I think that woman is a genius! Today's question was pretty hard and she came up with the correct answer right away. Now Fancy has spoken of her love for board games, competition and everybody knows she loves football. But I know a secret. She cheats. She googled it. OK, I know, I didn't specify that you couldn't google it. But I'm calling an unsportsmanlike penalty. But "it's probably the first thing she's ever done wrong." So all is forgiven. *wink*

So if you're interested, tune in to Twitter. There's just one question: Are you a Smart Ass or a Dumb Ass?