Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I have a lot of half written posts on the back burner but can't seem to find the concentration it would take to focus on any one topic right now. I've decided instead to regale you with some of the lunacy random thoughts that go through my head in a day. I must warn you, after reading this; you may wish that you were me because life is a kinder, gentler place when you're slightly off-balance to have me committed. You'll have to catch me first. And I'm a slippery little sucker.

I subscribe to the feeds from our local paper, The Palm Beach Post, in my Google Reader. I came across an article today that announced the date, time and location that the police will have a DUI check this weekend. Is it me or doesn't this announcement defeat the whole purpose? If I were planning to go out and have myself a good time and then be stupid and irresponsible enough to get behind the wheel (not that I would do that sort of thing), I think I would still be smart enough to avoid the checkpoint. I think this is a complete waste of my tax dollars. I much prefer a surprise attack. I think I'll write my councilman or maybe run for office. Don't forget I had that grass-roots effort back in October and came "this" close to being named as the Presidential candidate for the SmartAss party.

I realized today that the goats next door are even more excited to see me return home than my own dogs are. I'm going to have to start giving the dogs carrots too. Does anyone know where I can get a lot of carrots cheap?

I found this gem in Quotes of the Day. I love it:

"The rule is perfect: In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane."

Putts Law

Daughter #2 is home on Spring Break. She tells me that the great thing about living in South Florida is she doesn't have to go anywhere else. She already lives in a tropical paradise. I think she's had a little too much sun.

I can't remember to take my memory-enhancing supplements. If I could remember to take them, I wouldn't need them.

I love daylight savings time. But I hate springing forward. I love falling back. I have an idea for a solution. I think that we should fall back an hour each November. And spring ahead a whole day every 24 years. I know. I think I'm a genius. I am going to send a tweet to President Obama. He follows me, you know.

A couple years ago, there was a Starbucks billboard along the turnpike which I passed on my commute everyday. I could sometimes smell the inviting aroma of fresh coffee just as I aproached the billboard. The area where the billboard is located is not near a Starbucks store or any type of food or beverage service business. It's not really near anything. And yet, at least once a week, I would smell coffee when I passed. The billboard was changed about a year ago. I haven't smelled coffee while passing that area since. Weird, huh? Or maybe it's some sort of evil coffee propaganda to convince me to stop at the next exit for tall skinny cappuccino.

I want a Wii. And then I want the Wii fit. And then I want that extra battery charger thing. I'll want games of course. I'll have to have an extra remote. Oh and another nunchuk. (whatever the heck that is) And therein lies the problem.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk.

I twitter. Do you? I don't facebook, I don't myspace but I tweet on twitter like nobody's business. There is a small group of tweeters whom I play SmartAss (a trivia game) with every weekday morning at around 9:30 am EST. (I'm working as are some of the other players so we don't always start on time) We would love it if you'd join us. Well, I would love it. You see, my Tweets, they're getting a little cocky. They win all too often. They need some more competition. Come on, aren't you dying to show off your inner SmartAss? Follow me on twitter at SmartMouthBroad. You also need to follow the other players. It's a lot of fun and a great distraction for your morning coffee break. Have I convinced you yet? I knew you couldn't resist. Here's what to do:

  1. If you aren't already on twitter, go to and sign up. It's free.
  2. If you're already tweeting. Follow these players:
  • Midlife_Slices
  • Nothing_Fancy
  • SnowWhitePlus76
  • Chasaveen
  • Auntchrisbronx
  • NewYorkBabe
  • MidlifeMama (She rarely shows……………….something about a job and all. Gosh)
  • JansSushiBar (Jan hasn't played yet but we're working on her inner competitor)

It's quick and fun. Come join us. Game on!


only a movie said...

Nice random post. The coffee/billboard is interesting...

Can't do Twitter. Though it sounds fun. Google reader, Facebook, Flickr, and homework take up too much time already on the laptop (which is velcroed to my lap too much as it is).

But ask me in June. We teachers don't work in the summer.

blueviolet said...

I'm going to check and see if I'm following you on twitter now. :) I'm with you on the DUI check. That makes no sense at all.

Beth said...

They do NOT announce DUI checks in my town. And why should they? They are ALWAYS at the same location night after night. They set up right in down the street (only one way out) from the college bars.

Obama follows me, too. 'Cept I don't Twitter because I can't seem to find any extra time outside of work, house, kids, blog, and feeding my news habit. I'm considering therapy.

Funny post! I like your randomness.

midlifeslices said...

I can attest to the fact that your goats greet you very lovingly (and loudly) when you get home so they must surely love your treats. As for SmartAss......yes, we have a ball and I still think we should be called the SATT. *wink*

Fragrant Liar said...

I am trying NOT to twitter. I am already too accessible via all kinds of technology. But I will check it out. I am probably the biggest smart ass that I know, besides my dad, so maybe it would be fun.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Ok..I will. Daughters. Mine only come home now when they need money or someone to pick on about their hair.

My memory. There is something you can take for that? already told me the answer to that one. Didn't you?

President Obanma follows you? I BELIEVE IT! (as well he should!!)

Starbucks. Your sniffer is off. Problem solved.

What the H is a Wii??? HUH? Problem? Where? Wha'd I miss??!!

Mouse. Yes..of course he is. Geez..

SMB..what on God's green earth is a "twitter?" And whatever it is I already can't keep up with this "blogging" thing. Why would I want to tweet?? I mean twitter. I don't get it...
But then I'm old...

No, no you go! I'll stay here where it's safe. You go and enjoy.

Huggers... :)

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Oh yeah..I forgot. The DUI. I am for a surprise attack. Otherwise it is stupid. ~shaking head here~

Jan said...

Oh, okay! If I can remember to log on this morning to Twitter, I'll join in on the game. If I can remember.

You think you need memory enhancing supplements...?

nothingfancy1 said...

Well smidgetts! Now I'm never gonna win at SmartAss. First MLS blogs about it and now you. All of the other smartasses out there are gonna play and I'll never win again. I mean...the prizes are great...but it's the recognition that I crave. My work has kept me away for a few days...But I'm just gonna have to go and hide from everyone today so I can play. And win. It's a football question today, right?

midlife slices said...

Uhm...about that picture......MHS needs a shave. And a banana. *wink*

Gaston Studio said...

Completely agree with the waste of taxpayer dollars. Sneak attacks are where it's at!

Love the mind wanderings. The power of suggestion is mighty, is it not?

Debbie said...

I really enjoyed this randomness.
I want a Wii too. Alas, it does not look like one is in my future.

goodbadandugly2 said...

I love random need to get a wii! We can compete with each other! :)

croneandbearit said...

Our county cops announce on all the local news channels when and where the next DUI checkpoints will be. I thought it was a dumb thing to do but what is dumber is the number of people they still catch DUI. Unbelievable. Hey I tried to join the reindeer games this morning but I didn't see everything on Twitter. I'm sure it's me - I'm such a technoturd and am convinced I shouldn't be allowed near anything technology-related. LOL - Try again tomorrow.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I'm not allowing myself any new technologies. Blogging is all consuming, but you sure do make twitter sound fun.

Love your random thoughts.

And I've got something for you over at my place.

Sprite's Keeper said...

love the randomness!

Tessa said...

As you know (since I bent your ear about it) I love my Wii Fit. Problem is, it's been keeping me away from Smartass every morning. So I'm going to have to work something out - maybe get up earlier? Dang.

BTW - You're seriously funny!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Erin-The coffee thing is very weird. Even MHS would smell the coffee at that spot when he traveled the same way. Bummer about Twitter but I'll try to remember to nag you in June. I'll start the supplements right away.

BV-OK, you're following but I didn't hear any tweets this morning. Game on, my friend.

Beth-Forget therapy. It costs too much and takes even more time. Twitter with us and we'll solve all the problems of the world. Promise.

MLS-They don't call me the "Goat Whisperer" for nothing, you know. Oh yeah, you gave me that name. And yes, we SATTs have a lot of fun.

Liar-Oh come on! You know you wanna.

Mona-Oh, Mona, Mona, Mona.

Jan-See there, you played and won your first game. Isn't it fun!

Fancy-I'm working on cheating, uh, er..trying to find you a football question. *wink*

MLS-Hot, isn't he?

Gaston-It's all about the sneak attack. Which reminds me to start that letter.

Debbie-I feel your pain. I've got other priorities in my budget right now. Until then.....Wii envy.

GBU-Now I feel even worse. LOL You know how I love a good competition.

Linda-I see you've got your Tweeter all powered up and ready to rock and roll now.

Pseudo-Thank you very much for the award. I'm honored. Maybe you can join Erin in June and play SmartAss for the summer.

Jen-Why aren't you playing with us?
I follow you. I know you're out there. LOL

Tessa-Are you kidding? You're one of the biggest reasons I want a wii! You, MLS and the yayas across the street have given me serious Wii envy.
Yes, we will have to work on rearranging your schedule. Have your people get with my people.

Reader Wil said...

Good morning! I always read your post with great interest and a chuckle. I understand almost everything, but there are those abbreviations which I am not familiar with like Wii. I have not the foggiest what it can be....Well anyway thanks for your visit!
Have a great weekend!

LiLu said...

Obama follows me to! We can tweet-blast him. Then he won't have choice except to follow your GENIUS plan!

Duchess said...

From the picture I thought you were going to write about what was in our news the other day -- about a chimp in a zoo in Scandanavia who proves that apes can plan ahead. Every morning he gathers rocks into a little pile. Because he just knows that later he is going to get all agitated and cross, and then he has a neat stock pile of stones to fling at tourists.