Friday, November 20, 2009

YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS

speak-no-evil_new

Why is it that men don’t seem to have that filter in their brain that stops them from saying things that will send a woman into a tailspin? Shouldn’t we make them take a class …..or two? Maybe congress should propose a bill that will make it law that every mother must teach her male child how to say the right thing or at the very least know when to keep his mouth shut. Put that in the damn hopper!

Maybe it’s just the men in my life that are afflicted with this hoof in mouth disease but it seems to be spreading. Forget H1N1, Science should create a SHUT IT BEFORE YOU GET A SPIKED HEEL UPSIDE YOUR HEAD shot. There are three women on the board of directors at CVS. I’m pretty sure we could convince them to donate the vaccine as a public service.

Not convinced? Here are just a few examples of the lack of filter of which I speak:

  • MHS greeting me at the door - “Rough day? You look really tired.”
  • Produce guy at the grocery store - “You look really tired today, Ms. Broad. Everything OK at the SMB place?”
  • Idiot at the Sandwich Shop which has a salad I love and an employee I want to punch in the face - “Is that one of those blackberrys? I hear you can do just about anything with one of those. Your salad will be ready in just a few minutes. You look tired. Are you tired”

I’d like to point out that the above statements were not made on the same day. Maybe that’s just MY FACE!

OK, so maybe I do look tired. I AM tired. And I REALLY don’t need or want to be told that it shows………….even if it’s true. Don’t they realize that no matter how you wrap it, the statement says, “Wow! You look like crap today.”

You sympathize with me but you still aren’t sure this matter needs the attention of our national government? Allow me to further illustrate:

  • After spending a small fortune to cut, color and style my hair, MHS says - “Wow! It’s really short.”
  • My father once told me after we were already in the car and on our way to our destination that he didn’t like my perfume and thought it smelled cheap. He couldn’t have said something before we left the house? I had to go around the rest of the day thinking that I smelled like a cheap French whore.
  • Let us not forget that after Daughter #1 recently got me all gussied up for Daughter #2’s Sorority New Member reception, MHS’s only remark was that I reminded him of a flight attendant. *Not the look I was going for*

There is hope though. The other day I was talking to Daddy on our daily chat during my commute from work. We were talking about exercise and diet and our progress. Daddy said, “Yeah, I could tell the last few times that I saw you that you’ve lost weight. For awhile there you were looking a little……………………………..*crickets*

His filter kicked in a little late but the important thing is that it DID kick in. Even at 77 years old, he is learning. Could this be a sign that the male foot in mouth epidemic is over? I’m not taking any chances, I’m calling my congresswoman.

***Note***

I want to thank everyone who commented on my last post. Your words of encouragement and advise to D2 were well received. Even those who didn’t have advise but left complements served to boost her spirits. Don’t you just love the blogosphere! You guys are THE BEST! I’m sure everything will work out just fine.




Hugs,
Smart Mouth Broad

28 comments:

otin said...

What is that alluring fragrance? Oh it is the beautiful SMB, with that perfect hair, and that energetic look! She reminds me of one of those hot, young flight attendants! Eat a sandwich or something, huh? You are way too thin! hehehe! My filter works!

Just Vignettes said...

I think you're beautiful inside and out. We all have days when we are a bit tired. We all work hard at the things we love to do, and sometimes at the things we HAVE to do. It's just the way guys communicate. They just don't get it, do they.

Really, I've seen your photo and you are lovely so tell those men to stick a sock in it, or on it... whichever works.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

blueviolet said...

Let me tell you that I am tired and always look tired. I'm convinced that I'm far more tired looking than you could ever be. My fix:eyeglasses. They cover up the tired, and nobody knows how worn out and lived out I really am.

You look GREAT!!! I've seen your photos and tired is not applicable!

only a movie said...

Interesting take on wearing the glasses to cover up looking tired... I was just thinking that.

Anyway, SMB, dear. You look fabulous. Men just don't know how to communicate at all. Also, some women. Like my mom.

xoxo Seriously - you look great.

tattytiara said...

Ah haha - you reminded me of my favorite comment received after I cut my waist length hair up to my ears.

"Do you usually wear glasses?"

This from the man I work with directly all day every day, and had already done so for years at that point.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Men: can't live with 'em; can't leave 'em by the side of the road...

Blog Stalker said...

Because I cannot reveal which side of this I am on, I will just say.....I have totally experienced of what you speak!

I do not think there is a cure.....not permanantly anyway!

Have a great day!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

I am OLD and I have never in my entire life known a man that knew when to stuff a sock in it! Never!
I don't think all the "antidotes" in the world will ever change it either. That..of course is just my take but..after THREE husbands, all good men, my head reels with the how many times I have heard "Wha'd I say wrong???"

I say smile...it fools them every time! You can have fire shooting out of your eyeballs and they think if you smile..or..have lipstick on ...all is well.

Blasé said...

Perhaps if you women would wear a sign on your chest that says- "Please Lie to me, because I can't handle the Truth"...we would tell you what you want to hear.

Btw, have I told you lately that you look tired?

Gaston Studio said...

Men have so few tools in their toolbox and one that is definitely missing is How to Communicate. We women, on the other hand, have toolboxes that are overflowing. I still God has a great sense of humor for having put men and women on the same planet!

Jan said...

You have my complete and utter sympathy. This is coming from someone who not only has the only set of ovaries at home, but at the office as well.

I'm up testosterone creek without a compliment.

Brian Miller said...

i would leave a comment but my filter got left on last night...lol.

The Lone Star Queen said...

My husband is also afflicted with the "hoof in mouth disease" and will never recover from it. They simply cannot help it. I know where you're coming from.

smiles4u said...

You sing it sista!!!! I think they should have a class for all high school boys to take. My sons are pretty good because they learned with 3 sisters in the house...they learned the painful way all too often of saying things when one of them was pmsing...good lord look out...they learned what to say and what not to say...they even learned to not even look at them at certain times of the month...lol.
I used to tell my boys that they were learning life lessons that would help them with the women in theirs lives for years to come...lol!

And yes, I think the love and support here in the blog world is fabulous! XXOO

Tamara said...

I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog, I'm having a blast. :) lol

And I know the "are you tired" comment, just yesterday my daughter said it to me. Well of course I'm friggin tired!!! I have 4 grown kids that won't get their shit together, 9 puppies I'm taking care of round the clock and a husband who changed careers after 31 years and took a job half way across the U.S.

But a fact, people DO NOT need to point out to you or me. lol

Flip em off next time. lol
I'm following you now too.
http://www.homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com

Beth Niquette said...

Oh, heavens--I think most men have perpetually dumb moments. They don't seem to know that women equate words with the same weight as actions.

To a man actions weigh MORE than words, so men use their words in ways which hurt us more than they realize--because to them, if the action doesn't match the words--the action has the weight.

Whereas we ladies--we nearly always put more weight on the words.

(sigh)

I remember once my Dad told me I was getting a little chunky.

He did not realize how much that hurt my heart. I've never had to struggle with my wieght up until the last five years or so.

I have SO much more sympathy with folks who struggle with overweight. It is HARD to lose the stuff and keep it off.

What a lovely lady you are! I so appreciated your thoughtful blog this morning.

Fragrant Liar said...

My daughter and I have been talking about this very thing lately because we keep getting slammed with "guy words", and I even have a post in the works about it. Guys can be so dim-witted!

injaynesworld said...

They can't help it Testosterone is and forever shall be... the stupid drug.

MilesPerHour said...

Yup, sometimes we just have no self awareness. Then again, women say things they really mean without a filter either. Human beings are a trip.

Debbie said...

Good mercy! You have experienced quite a few doozies lately!

Dutch donut girl said...

Men are dogs.
Just kidding! Stop throwing rocks at me, dude!

p.s. Yep, I found your blog via Blasé. Don't worry, I can handle the hard truth just as much as I can dish it out.

Reader Wil said...

I am sure they didn't mean you but the lady next to you!! Ha, ha...!
You look just so lovely, that I wished I looked like that!
Thanks for your comment! I am glad that you save angels now, they suit you better than cows. May be angelic cows??

Theta Mom said...

Tired? WTH? Maybe THEY need to get their EYES checked. You're so adorable, tell them to kiss off and bother somebody else!

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Yes, some animals need to wake up and learn. It is such a shame really.

Tony Letts said...

Oh dear - you sound tired. Are you tired?

JOE TODD said...

I think I will keep my mouth shut

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

The lack of filter is missing with both genders under a certain age... my students.

Female student last week,

"Ms. You look really tired today."

"That's like telling me I look old or ugly Jamie."

"No, I really mean it. You have big bags and circles around your eyes. Like you need to sleep more..."

midlifeslices said...

Are you feeling o.k.? You sound a little tired. :)

But...I'm SURE you look GREAT!!!!

p.s. I WISH someone would tell me I look tired instead of averting their gaze. It's kind of giving me complex.