Saturday, September 20, 2008

SPINNING AND SPIRALING DOWNWARD

I made it to spin this morning on time. I chose a bike near the back because the people in the front are just so intense. A few more people filtered in after me but the class was only about half full. This didn't really seem to be a problem until the class started. The problem was that there was no one in front of me which for all intents and purposes meant I was the front row. Uh oh! I'm new to this spinning thing. I don't need to have the instructor having a beeline view of my posture, huffing and puffing, lack of proper form and the extra breaks necessary to keep me from having a stroke. I kept praying that more people would come as the class progressed. Where were the Barbies? Where were the athletes?

I did the best I could but to be honest, my best was not so good today. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't get up early enough to have breakfast or even coffee. Maybe it's because morning is not really when I'm at my peak performance. I'm much more energized in the afternoon. Maybe it just wasn't my day. But whatever it was, spin kicked my butt today.

As usual, the room was dark and the disco ball was spinning. My shoes, headband and sportsbra were glowing from the black light. This made it easy for me to spot myself in the mirror and observe my lack of good posture. Robin, the instructor, played lame (in my opinion) 80s music today. Is there anyone (besides Robin, apparently) who likes this stuff! Oh, gosh, I'm starting to sound like an old woman!

Now, Robin is an amazing specimen of a woman and normally her energy and stamina is enough to motivate me to work myself into a spinning frenzy. Today… not so much. I worked hard though, believe me. Once again, we peddled ourselves silly all while punching, reaching, climbing, rowing and then peddling one leg at a time. But today, I found myself mocking Robin in my head. At one point, she said something about getting ready to jump. I'm thinking, "Jump! There's no jumping in spinning!" (said in my head like the line in A League of Their Own). And dang if she didn't hear me because we didn't ever do anything that resembled jumping. This scared me because now I'm thinking Robin has super powers and can hear what I'm thinking. And my thoughts were not all that kind. I was cranky, unmotivated and just plain rebellious. Another problem was that as I mentioned earlier, she could see me clearly. So while she may not have been talking directly to me, it sure seemed like it. She kept saying things like, "Pull your stomach in.", " Straighten your posture.", " Move, move, MOVE!" and "Faster, faster!"

So now, I'm worried that with her apparent super powers she can hear my mental replies to her commands. I'm thinking things like, "Listen, here, skinny b*tch!" and "I AM moving, are you blind!" and "Maybe if you didn't have this lala music to a crappy beat, I might be more inclined to pump it up a little more".

The class concluded, I thanked Robin for a great class (because I'm polite like that) and walked out feeling a bit defeated.

I think I'm PMSing.

And to add insult to injury, I walked into MHS's office upon my return home and he said, "Man, you don't look good." Thanks, JackASS.

9 comments:

nanadiaries said...

I am not so brave to even begin a spinning class, so kudos to you for taking it on. I used to play racquetball several times a week until my knees began to betray me at every stretch and pivot -- which was about the time I began a relationship with a wonderful guy who, nevertheless, never had aspirations of getting or staying fit. We ate out a lot. I'm still trying to shed the poundage . . .

KJ
http://nanadiaries.wordpress.com

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Ditto on the brave thing. I think you are very brave for taking on a spin class. I haven't been to a gym in ions and give you mucho credit. I think the last time I went they were playing 80's music because it WAS the 80's.

thistle said...

Jeez...you just gave me a flashback to the last spin class i went to...crappy music and horrible homicidal thoughts directed at a-little-too-chirpy instructor...

definitely PMS...in advanced stages best cured by merlot and a good nap...

smiles4u said...

Oh goodness...now I'm really getting nervous about going to one of these classes with my daughter in Florida...lol! I have off days like this when I work out and just console myself with the fact that I at least made the effort. And your right, if the music is right, then it affects my workout.

Glad your still working out! Keep up the good work!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Nana & PHST - I think rather than brave it's an innate ability to laugh at myself. LOL! Thanks for you encouragement.

Thistle - I think you and I should one day take a spin class together. We could have a lot of fun.....or maybe be thrown out...or both.
And I took your advice but substituted beer for merlot and football for a nap. Both did a world of good.

Smiles - Don't be afraid to try it. It's a great work-out and I'm sure your daughter has lots of tips to make it even better for you. Have a great time!

Midlife Slices said...

You're not brave, you're a masochist. LOL But a good one at that. I still wish I had spinning anywhere close to where I am. Oh, but where is that? I never know where I am from one week to the next. sigh....

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Midlife Slices - Maybe you should come visit me and I'll take you to spin class.

thistle said...

hmmm...i've yet to be kicked out of a fitness class...but i will admit to disrupting a couple (usually with PerfectSister's help)...it's never good when you hit the cool-down phase, with the lights low and relaxing music on and there is audible snickering coming from the back of the room...oops...

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Thistle - Well, we could try... it could be fun. LOL