Saturday, February 28, 2009

THE TROPHY WIFE TELLS A STORY


My friend, the Trophy Wife, is a great story teller. I love spending time with her because besides the fact that she is a warm and caring friend, she is also a lot of fun and very smart. We caught up on my way home from work one day this week. I was telling her about our stroll thru the shopping plaza. She said, "Did I ever tell you about the time I met JJ and the Chef at Johnny Rockets last summer?" I said that I didn't think so and the story began.

It was a Friday and the TW worked late that day. Her youngest daughter had gone to a concert (the only child left at home) and her husband, the Rocket Scientist, was out of town on business. She didn't feel like going home to an empty house on a Friday night so she called her friend, JJ. JJ and her husband, The Chef, were already at Johnny Rockets having burgers when the TW called. They invited her to join them because even though they were already eating, they were still waiting for their daughter to join them and planned to stay awhile and visit.

TW rushed over to the shopping center and drove all around looking for a parking space. The plaza is always packed on Friday night because of the movie theatre and all the restaurants. The parking garage was closed due to construction to add another floor (because of the lack of parking). She didn't want to keep her friends waiting and was getting more and more frustrated with each unsuccessful loop around the parking lot. She finally gave up and valeted the car. She rushed up the stairs to Johnny Rockets and joined JJ and The Chef.

Once she joined her friends, she forgot all about the parking fiasco. She was happy to enjoy the company of her good friends while she ate her meal. At one point, a man she didn't recognize came to their table to speak with The Chef. She explained that she rarely goes anywhere with JJ and the Chef that they don't run into someone they know. They own a very nice restaurant in the area and do a lot of charity work. They know a lot of people. TW was checking on her daughter via text messaging when the gentleman walked over and joined them. She was only half paying attention to their conversation. After the man left, the subject was changed and she forgot to ask about the man to whom they were talking.

When it came time to leave, The Chef went to get his car and JJ walked TW to the valet counter. That's when the same man from the restaurant approached them again. They struck up a conversation about the need for valet parking at the shopping center and this was all TW needed to remember her frustration upon her arrival. She began to tell the man about how hard it was to find a parking space and how poorly planned the parking area was. She went on to say, "Whoever designed this shopping center is a stupid idiot!"

That's when the man smiled and said, "I guess that would be me. I'm the architect."

This whole time JJ was making googly eyes at TW, coughing and quietly doing everything she could think of to stop her tirade but TW was hearing none of it. She was on a roll. And now she was feeling quite embarrassed. She apologized, of course but what can you say after something like that? "Oh, I didn't really mean it?" Of course you can't say that.

The architect was very gracious about it and said that in his defense, when the plaza was planned; it was supposed to be office space and restaurants. However the developers were unable to market it as office space and it was changed to retail leasing. That made a huge difference in the need for parking.

Don't worry, TW was eventually able to get her foot out of her mouth.

Has this ever happened to you? Do you have an Open Mouth, Insert Foot moment to share? It would make the TW feel so much better.



22 comments:

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Great story! I don't think I've ever stuck my foot in my mouth as far as she did. lol

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Erin Moore said...

Ouch, that's bad. I don't think I can think of one that tops it. (...though I do say stupid things on a daily basis).

only a movie said...

Wow. That's a good story! I don't think I have anything like that lurking in my shadows. If I think of it, I'll be sure to come back and tell you.

smiles4u said...

Oh dear...I am sure that I have stuck my foot in my mouth plenty of times but can't recall any specific stories right now. The thing is TW wasn't necessarily saying anything wrong or mean, just the truth but I understand her horror upon learning who this man was.

Jan said...

Are you kidding?? I live with my foot in my mouth.

I've gotten quite fond of the taste of 2-week old nail polish...

Fragrant Liar said...

Yes, unfortunately about 20 years ago, I asked our skinny older realtor when she was due. She said, "I'm not pregnant, I just have a big pooch." Pooch!? It was a basketball belly! But I had to apologize, of course, feeling like a total moron. And my husband, who witnessed it, would never let me live it down. So I divorced him...

blueviolet said...

I'm positive that I've done that more than a few times but I can't call anything up at the moment. But I promise..she is not alone.

Midlife Mama said...

Oh yes, my foot takes up residence in my mouth quite often. *sigh* I'm like other commenters though, I can't come up with a single one off the top of my head. Oh wait. One time I was working in the graphic design department of a print shop when a gentleman came in to get some work done. I was the only one in the shop (thankfully) so I took his order. He was having some military stuff done and he wanted the photos scanned and printed with some type. This was about 1992 or so and the gentleman was in his mid-50s. Remember, I cannot do math well. I was admiring the photos when I asked him what war it was from, was it World War II? (yeah, NOW I know he wasn't old enough for that!) and he looked at me and kind of smiled. He said, no, Vietnam. The worst thing was, that I had to continue to help him until he left, standing there with egg on my face and feeling like a complete and utter fool. *sigh*

I'm such a dork. LOL

Reader Wil said...

A great story! Thanks for this funny post!

midlife slices said...

No way. I never say anything inappropriate to anyone. I never embarrass myself. Never. *covers head and hopes God doesn't strike me down*

But I did say something once that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. I was at an out of town restaurant with the X and ST and a bunch from the baseball team since we'd just finished a game in that area and saw some people come in that I knew. It was a father, daughter and daughter's husband. The father was about my Dad's age and I'd known he and his wife for as long as I could remember and loved them dearly. I jumped up from the table and went to the front where they were waiting on a table and hugged Mr. Trig and said hi to his daugher and SIL and said "Where's Mom? Did you all leave her at home?" Everyone sort of froze and the daughter said "uhm....Mom died a few weeks ago." I was horrified and then I burst into tears and hugged Mr. Trig and said I was sorry and left the restaurant and sat in the car until everyone else finished eating. That was the worst feeling in the world and I chewed my family out for not telling me Mrs. Trig had died, only to find out none of them knew it either. (They didn't live in the same town) Anyway, now....I never ask where anyone is if they are absent. Lesson learned.

Oz Girl said...

Oh yes, I have definitely inserted foot into mouth on several occasions... one that comes to mind was actually via email. I thought I had forwarded to my boss re: a particularly noxious client we had at the time, when in reality I REPLIED to the client. Basically I asked why he had to be so sarcastic and difficult to get along with all the time... needless to say my faux pas was brought to my attention and I could have crawled under a rock! I was only glad that I kept it that low-key and didn't go all out and call him an annoying ass or some such thing! Lesson learned: I always made sure I hit FORWARD instead of REPLY when making comments about someone's rude behaviour!!!

Oz Girl said...

By the way, just found your blog today and I'm following, quite funny and interesting to read! :)

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Wow.....what a fantastic blog you have going here Smart Mouth Broad!! I really enjoyed my visit so much that I just had to follow. You know, I like to be a follower, it's just less pressure you know??
Hey, Prince and I love Johnny Rockets.....especially the chocolated malts :)
And errr......yep I stick me foot in me mouth all the time. I just wash it down with a big old Dirty Mary Martini and it goes down much easier......either that or it makes me not care??? :)
Take good care and.......

Steady On
Reggie Girl

LiLu said...

"Open mouth, insert foot" is actually my personal (involuntary) motto. I say it at least once a day. And mean it.

Breathe said...

I was a recipient of a foot in mouth - I was 16 and my father and I were on a road trip together. This was back in the day of CB radios and he had been talking to a trucker for a bit. Then the trucker talks about scoring some female action at the next stop. My dad says "let me know how that goes"

The trucker says "looks like you got all you can handle up there."

Dad says "That's my daughter"

I laughed so hard, I almost peed myself. He was so pissed we were radio silent for the rest of the day...

croneandbearit said...

Oh have I got an Open Mouth Insert Foot Moment for you. When Devoted Spouse was Active Duty Air Force, we were stationed in Belgium (the armpit of the world). Once a year I would fly home to the states (a long, long flight). On one of these flights, I was fortunate enough to be bumped up to Business Class and who was in the section but my Devoted Spouse's boss, the General. The General was a very nice man and he invited me to occupy the vacant seat next to him. Since it was a long flight, I took him up on his gracious offer. Sometime during the flight we both took a short nap. Upon arriving at the airport - I was excited to see Devoted Spouse and standing next to him was the General's Aide - I looked at Devoted Spouse and said "Well, Now I know what it's like to sleep with a General." It was a very silent ride home. Thankfully the General had a wonderful sense of humor and knew what I meant. Devoted Spouse was not amused. Cheers.

Debra said...

Oh, this just happened to me last week! Some friends and I met after work at a restaurant to celebrate a birthday. After a couple drinks, a couple of us excused ourselves to the ladies room. When we got there, one stall was open and the other occupied. I let my friend go first. The occupant in the other stall was doing who knows what and never came out as I was waiting. My friend got in and out and then I went in to "her" stall. After I got out there was another female standing by the wall playing with her cell phone. I thought she went in there to make a phone call. I proceeded to tell my friend that whoever was in the other stall was taking forever, and I was about to pop. blah, blah, blah. God only knows what all I said - I was rambling on. My friend gave me the eye and I knew what she meant. The person standing in there was the one who had taken up residence in the stall and the very one I was complaining about. I quickly washed my hands and exited.

Debra said...

P.S. forgot to tell you that I have a celebration going on over at my blog. Make sure you drop by to participate!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

BRG-Yeah, this was a goody.

Erin-*sigh* You and me both.

Movie-It's a deal. I'll be waiting.

Smiles-That's the thing, she was just being honest.

Jan-Yet another reason to believe we were separated at birth.

Liar-Serves him right!

BV-Don't you hate it when you can't remember things like this.

Mama-That sounds exactly like the kind of stupid things I say on a regular basis.

RW-Thanks. No stories?

MLS-Ouch! This was a tough one. You poor thing. It probably bothered you way more than it did them.

Oz-OMG! This was too funny. I'm going to have to be really careful from now on because I'm lucky this hasn't happened to me yet. Thanks for visiting and I hope you will come back.

MMMRS-Thanks so much for visiting. I do hope you'll come back and now about those Dirty Mary Martinis?

Lilu-We smart mouths have that problem. *wink*

Breathe-Your poor father. He must have been mortified. It is pretty funny tho.

C&B it-That reminds me of my daughter and her boyfriend (?) who is in the navy. She would soooo say something like that and he is very straight laced, by the book. Thanks for sharing.

Debra-Oh man! That's rough. Had to laugh tho. I entered the contest. Now, I'm going to win, right?

nothingfancy1 said...

Great story! I'm typically on the receiving end of these foot/mouth stories - and therefore am searching for a way to respond that doesn't involve attacking the other person!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Oh my. I can't think of one right now, but I've had a couple. My mom, however, is the Queen of saying too much at the wrong time.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Do I ever have an "open mouth insert foot" moment?? Only every single solitary day of my blasted life!!! Why do you think I tippy toe around my blogging ...posts? I can step on toes, stuff foot and entire leg into my mouth in seconds! Ok?