Friday, July 24, 2009



My very first post to this blog almost a year ago was all about how I had been to my girly doc and she was very rude kind enough to inform me that I am at that age when I need to have a primary care physician to manage my healthcare.   *It might help to read it first.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait.*  I work for a doctor and while she is a breast surgeon, she can and does prescribe antibiotics or other meds when the need arises.  Why waste your time with doctor appointments and forms and copays when you have your own personal physician right in your back yard ………….uh…er…or in the back office as the case may be.

It took me almost a year to get over the shock of being told that I’m “at that age when…” because I’m a bit of a drama queen but I finally got around to choosing a PCP to manage my care.  Oddly enough, the referral came from a biker friend I met at the gym.  My new doctor is his girlfriend.  We’ll call her Dr. LuLu.  I liked Dr. LuLu instantly the moment I met her.  And when she discovered that I was Smart Mouth Broad, BF’s friend from the gym, she was almost as excited to meet me as I was her.  We hugged and chatted about how much we had heard about each other.  It was a very different experience from any medical appointment to which I’d ever been.  Then  it was back to the task at hand.

Dr. LuLu began with the results of my bloodwork that had been drawn the previous week.  She dropped little phrases about “being at that age when”  and I could feel my teeth start to grind.  She proceeded to tell me that my sugar is high, my thyroid is low, my cholesterol is OK but my triglycerides are high.  I got an A+ in liver functions but my white blood cell count is high which means there is inflammation somewhere in my body.  She asked me if I had a portable home blood pressure cuff because my bp is  a little high.  Uh NO!  I’m not that old!  Then she told me that I was at high risk for heart disease as my bloodwork shows 25.2 on a blood level that anything over 3 is high risk.  I’m pretty sure it’s a typo or I’m about to drop dead any minute

My head was spinning.  She must have noticed that glassy eyed stare I get when I’m overwhelmed with news I don’t want to hear because she switched from her all-business medicalese tone to a more comforting, nurturing tone like you use when talking down a wounded wild animal.  She said, “I know this is a lot to take in but the good news is that we can work on all of it.”  And she was a little too cheerful about it, if you ask me.

I said, “You know, when I walked in here I thought I was basically a very healthy woman.”  as I curled into a fetal position on the exam table.

She smiled and said, “Well, you know you’re almost fifty.” 

That is SO NOT TRUE!  I’m not even forty-nine.  What the hell is she talking about!  I don’t think Dr. LuLu and I can still be friends.  And I had such high hopes too.  I thought we could maybe ride the Harleys to dinner sometime.  Not now.  I can see that she is an excellent physician but no friend tells you that you’re almost fifty when clearly you are NOT! 

So the plan goes like this:

  • Stick with the South Beach Diet because it is great for keeping your blood sugar stable.  (What do you know?  I was doing something right!  Yay! Me!)
  • Start taking fish oil.
  • Start taking folic acid.
  • Have an ultrasound of my thyroid and as long as it’s negative, start thyroid meds. (and possibly find it easier to lose weight.  Yay, again!)
  • Take a water pill for the pitting edema I get cyclically.  (Like I don’t already spend enough time in the ladies room, “powdering my nose.”
  • Monitor my blood pressure twice daily, log it and turn it in for homework at my next visit. 
  • There could be more that I may have forgotten.
  • Drink lots of beer……….or vodka PRN.
  • Spend all your days at the beach
  • Eat Dark Chocolate

OK, so those last three I threw in just to see if you were paying attention.  They pertain to “my plan” not “the plan”.

So it’s taken me almost a year but I finally figured out the end of that sentence.  I was in denial.  I was clearly blocking it before.   But now there’s no escape. 

I’m at that age when ………………………….things EFFIN START TO FALL APART!  FML

Smart Mouth Broad


♥ Braja said...

Really, you were kidding? Cos those last 3? I woulda suggested at least one of 'em :

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Start now and you won't be in the fix I'm in now! :) 50? Oh to be 50 again! Sounds like you have a great doctor who is paying attention...and she is the one who REALLY counts! I think most of us get lost in the shuffle...a good doctor is worth gold now. But than you know that. You can't kid me! I'm glad you found her! And the age thing? LOL Shame on her!
You're right on that one! :) God help anyone who tries to add any more years onto me!

JeanMac said...

Keep the doc but "do your thing" - sounds like it's working.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Good luck with the self dicipline required with all that. I admire those who can garner it. I"m ready to say ready set go for myself, very soon.

Anonymous said...

well I know how you feel- when I went to my dr last year before turning 40 he said 'well you're at an age where things change' - i just about wanted to kick him in th enuts to see his voice change...all of it sucks.

Auntie, aka Dog Girl said...

Stick with this doc. Sounds like she is doing a thorough job, and that's good. Most docs will just rush you out the door.
I just turned 50 last year...Hey! I can be 25 TWICE!
But it's true about how things start falling apart...We have to exercise harder and diet a bit more just to keep our metabolism from coming to a screeching halt.
Keep your chins up!
Tweet ya later!

Auntie, aka Dog Girl said...

Oh, did I mention Prozac?
A little bit goes a long ways!

Anonymous said...

I started falling apart last year and I still cannot believe it's happening to me. I'm young, right? I have a 2 year old for crying out loud!!!!

I had the same eye opening experience with my gyn that you had w/ Dr. Lulu. Gyn started talking to me about menopause not being that far off. WHAT? R U FREAKIN KIDDING ME?

In my mind, I'm still early 30s. I'm not sure who that woman is in the mirror, but I hate her.

Gaston Studio said...

Hey, dark chocolate and red wine is good for you; THEY all say so (this year, anyway!).

The Peach Tart said...

Your doctor sounds like a keeper. I'm on the other side of 50 and unfortunately you have to be much more diligent with your health as you age. She gave you some good tips but hell, you've got to have some fun. All regimen and no play means a dull life. I say throw in the last three.

only a movie said...

I'm glad you went. Aren't you glad you're not on the damned zone?

We'll help you get used to your new lifestyle changes. It'll be ok...

And dark chocolate is good for you.

Anonymous said...

I can't even remember to take my daily vitamin for heaven sakes!!

The Blue Ridge Gal

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

I wish my thyroid was wacky and they could give me meds for it! Instead I just feel tired and need to practically starve to lose a pound. Must be because I'm of "a certain age."
The doc sounds great, but she better watch her mouth around you with some of those "phrases."
And dark chocolate and vodka? Now there's a prescription for happiness!

darsden said...

OMG we are twins... or they have switched our records! I hate that phrase too much I won't repeat it.

Linda said...

I will be 48 in September and stuff has already started falling apart! WTH? When did this happen? Make it stop! Somebody MAKE IT STOP!!

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

I feel ya sista! I'm going to a different doctor in August that deals with all that stuff, hormonal stuff, and I'm freaked at what they will find.

Clearly, Ms LuLu is not your friend and can never be. She never should have mentioned the f word. Her loss!

BTW Miss reading your posts, I'm so behind ;).

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh yeah, I know that feeling when you just want to bitch slap your doc for saying "at the age of....", especially when the doc saying it is about 13 years old! I've heard it from my eye doc when he prescribed reading glasses, my rheumatologist when I "flunked" my bone scan, my GP when I he told me I needed to start getting a colonoscopy on a regular basis. Oh yeah..... I feel your pain.... And I'd add Xanax to your list-- 5 mg just BEFORE your appointment with the doctor :-)
Hang in there and follow doctor's orders. xo

Donna said...

You should listen to your doc. She sounds like she knows what she's talking about. You should always listen to doctor. Especially if he/she has a great doctor /patient record.As for being 50! Hell I'll be 49 in 5 months.So as for menopause,it has its pros and cons

The Pros
1.WhooooooHoooooo NO MORE PERIODS.
It's time to celebrate!!!!Not because your getting older,its because you don't have to worry about tampons,or pads, or the embarassing moment of starting without protection. Its called leakage? And best of all NO MORE CRAMPING and BLOATING.

The Cons
1.The hot flashes and night sweats.The bad moods.Ask me no question,and I won't bitch.Your patients have reached their peak.

How do I know this? Because I'm going through that now. The cons are not all that fun and the pros are GGGGGRRRRREEEAAT!!!! I am doing really good with it though. I make me a friut smoothee for breakfast, have a salad for lunch and eat a good dinner. That helps with your weight, a little excercise like walking.Its all good.That age thing? well everybody has their own saying on that. Me!Well if someone came to me like a doctor and said at your age- I would look back at them and say what about it.Its only a number.Thats to a good doc.

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, welcome to my effing world. I usually try to say something like, "I know that at my age, I should expect some . . ." before they do. That saves me from kicking them in the vajayjay or the gonads, whichever.

Now, that difference between 3 and 25? Wowee. Be sure to stay on top of that, sweetie. Cuz you know you're at that age when . . .

sheila said...

And THAT"S why I don't bother to go to regular physicals. I always come out feeling worse than when I went in. Bitches.

Laura said...

How do we get to be "at that age when"? By not following doctors' orders because we never bothered to get them. Is that the cut-off, living without worrying about the doctor and living with a list of do's and don'ts?

Since we're the same distance from fifty, I appreciate your giving me a prep on what to expect from the doctor next week.

Linda said...

Hi Linda T here visiting from Jan's Sushi bar. Loved your post (and thanks for waiting while I read the first one from a year ago :)) I turned 50 this year and I hate it. BUT>>> its better than the alternative, and that's the truth. My stepmom just died suddenly of an anuerism in her aorta about a month ago. She was a very healthy woman of 61. What I have chosen to take from that (among other things) is live life to your fullest every day but be kind to your body in the process as much as possible- cos it's kind of fragile apparently. :)

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain.LOL. At 54 I used my BF's home monitor for blood pressure just because I thought it was a possibility that it was a little elevated. After gaining all this weight, it's almost bullistic! Thank goodness I'm finally starting to get some of it off. Now if I could get my feet to move my butt, I would be a lot better off.LOL.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

A little dark chocolte and red wine is supposed to be good for you {{{{HUGS}}}}

midlife slices said...

You really ARE falling apart and you really ARE almost 50. Just face the music,'s not so bad on that side of the hill, as long as you aren't careening out of control on your way to the bottom.

I was supposed to get a thyroid ultrasound too but never did. One Dr. told me my thyroid was huge. This last one told me my thyroid was tiny. Go figure......

Tony Letts said...

Join the club! I went to the doctor's about the pain in my hips and before telling me it was arthritis she just laughed at me and said 'You're getting old!'
That's what I like about her!

Anonymous said...

When I turned 50 I invested in a little red wagon that I can pull behind me. I use it to pick up the body parts that started falling off.

Now that I'm nearing SIXTY this Friday, the only parts of my body that DON'T hurt are the ones in the wagon.

Give up. We're doomed. It's only the alcohol and dark chocolate that make it bearable.