Sunday, July 19, 2009




Change can be scary and it can be exciting.  Things are changing around SMBland.   Nothing too earth shattering, mind you, but changes just the same.

While Daughter #1 was in San Diego visiting An Officer and a Gentleman, I took advantage of the Food Nazi’s absence and made an executive decision.  We sh*tcanned the DAMN ZONE diet and went back to the South Beach Diet.  She has been compliant with my food plan since her return, albeit begrudgingly.  I was just about to tell you not to mention that to her because she is still a little sensitive about the subject when she came into the room to tell me she is happy with the meal plan.  I in all my gloatiness for my brilliant decision proceeded to tell her that I was just writing about that very topic and how I thought she was a little touchy about it still.  She immediately turned on me made a face and rescinded her compliment.  When will I learn to just say “thanks” and leave it at that?

For what it’s worth, our new way of eating is working.  I think it’s safe to say that the whole family feels better in general.  Those of us (read: me) who need to lose are losing.  I don’t think I’ll be a size 6 by reunion time but I’ll at least be closer to it.  The important thing is that I believe we’ve found a way that we can eat healthy for life (with occasional splurges) and that’s what I wanted instead of a temporary diet change that never works in the long run.

One change I didn’t think I would ever be able to make was to give up sweet tea.  I am a Yankee by birth but my stomach is a real Southerner.  I’ve seen fit to give up fried food, cornbread (except the occasional splurge) and pecan toffee tassies all in the name of good nutrition but the one thing I couldn’t kick was my sweet tea habit.  It’s like crack to me.  I’ve tried making it with a sugar substitute. ICK!  *Side note:  I enjoy it with no sweetener at all if the tea is really good but I MUCH prefer good ole Southern sweet tea!*  But this week, D1 came home from Publix with their own sugar free iced tea.  OMG!  I’m in heaven.  I didn’t think it was possible but it’s not only good, it’s great. 

Yet another change:  I’m not really much of a soda drinker but lately I have this uncanny craving for diet Dr. Pepper.  Somebody explain that to me, please.

Wii Wii alternates daily between insulting me with a Wii age of 45 and encouraging me with a Wii age of 28.  Talk about changes.  Sheesh!  Oh and I continue to be OBESE and UNBALANCED.  Have I mentioned that I hate the Damn Wii Wii!


Oh and one more thing: 

I’m approaching my one year blogiversary.  Are there any rituals I should know about?  Sacrifices to be made?  Parties to plan?  I’m completely clueless, not to mention a real slacker.  Let me know if there’s something I should be doing.  And in case it’s something I don’t want to do, let me know the penalty also……Just sayin. 

And one more thing:

This blogiversary is a good time to reflect and analyze the past year and all that’s been written here.  What are your thoughts?  Do you come here for the nonsense or real information.  YES.I.DO. occasionally provide useful information to you.  Remember it was me who taught you about tiny yellow bags and wasted tax dollars.   What would YOU like to see more of in the coming year? 

Smart Mouth Broad


otin said...

When you make a pitcher of sweet tea, gradually reduce the ammount of sugar in every pitcher, you will get used to the less sweetened version, I went from a cup and a half and am down to 1/4 cup per gallon!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love iced tea too. To wean myself away from sweet tea, I have been making sun tea this summer. I use one blact tea bag and then a couple herbal tea bags that enhance the flavor (like mandarin orange.

Happy Damn Zone Free ; -)

As far as what has kept me coming back since the first visit (I think it was a goat post), I'd have to say it is your writer's voice. I enjoy all the content, whether fun, travely, or serious. But what I love most is how your voice pulls me in and makes me feel like I'm sitting next to you listening to you in person.

Comedy Goddess said...

I love that, Yankee by birth, Southerner by food preferences. Totally me!

One thought on cravings, it's a little off the goes, Dr Pepper was said to have some prune juice in it, at least that is what I heard long long ago. One or two little prunes are pretty tasty!

Eternally Distracted said...

The wii is the devil in disguise. Stay away, stay away I tell you ... No computer should be allowed to scoff at the fact that you are obese or that you haven't exercised for days. I mean, it doesn't see all the times we walk to and from the car does it!

Re your blog. I found it, I loved it, I will keep coming back.

Mrs. K said...

I gave up sugar 2 weeks ago- including sodas and everyday I'm just about to go see a doctor to see if behind all the caffeine and sugar I was eating, im indeed a narcoleptic.

I can't stay awake- thinking of re-thinking this no sugar thing.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I'm all for the nonsense. That's where your voice comes out best, I think.

Good luck with the diet. I'm getting out my books for dieting success. I don't want to be the fat mom at my son's wedding.

blueviolet said...

Don't change a thing here. I love you for being exactly the way you are. Your blog is terrific!

Jason, as himself said...

I come here for nonsense.

That, and just because I like you and your writing entertains me.

Now go have a diet Dr. Pepper. I am.

Donna said...

I was born a yankee but raisedin trhe south. I know about that sweet tea. I use to be very bad with the sweet tea now when I make tea I put a 1/2 cup of sugar. my next change will be 1/4 cup. I don't even put salt on my foods any more. As far as dieting try the fruit smoothes also. Soy milk with any fruit and yoguart and put it in the blender. That is some good stuff.I have lost 7lbs since I started and that was thursday a week ago. Of course eating different salds helps too.

Donna said...

Oh and one more thing. I like you just the way you are. Alot of it is funny and I enjoy reading your post.And being a newbie like me it helps alot to know there is some bloggers out there that actually care.

only a movie said...

I had forgotten about the yellow bags!! What a public service.

I am happy that you ditched the damned zone and are finding something easier to follow. Do you use any Splenda? I think that tastes fine. And the Other Half usually has a diet Dr. Pepper stash here. (That we will share if you ever make it up north).

Happy almost blogaversary. I keep reading because you make the blogosphere a happier place.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I can't remember how I found your blog but I do remember I checked you out because I LOVED the name-- and I keep coming back because, well, you're a smart mouthed broad :-)

Beth said...

I've lived in the south for most of my life and my Yankee husband likes more of the southern foods than I do. I think I OD'd a few times on sweet tea as a kid and now can only drink it once or twice a year. We call my mother's tea "Diabetes in a Glass."

As for your blog, Pseudo recommended you to me because you like Paula Deen. If that isn't true, then that dream was damn realistic.

I love to read your blog because you just seem like a great, realistic friend who says it like it is. I like that about people.

Pastor Sharon said...

You know what? If I could give up coca-cola, I would have never gained a pound I am convinced. HOwever, that drink is my form of "crack". I constantly gain and lose 1 to 3 pounds based on how much I drink.

Kimberly said...

Duh, more smart mouthed shite...Happy Anniversary!

Michel said...

I adore iced tea!!! although since I'm a damn northerner, I am not addicted to sweet tea. Diet Dr. Pepper on the other hand....TO DIE FOR!

YOu know what else rocks? That diet CHERRY Dr. Pepper. that shit is yummy!

Sprite's Keeper said...

People can say what they want about Publix. They make the best products. I happen to love their instant oatmeal and would pick it every time over the brand name stuff. I'm not a tea fan, but I've tried their sugar free iced tea and drank myself stupid with it one day at a company picnic.
Happy blogoversary! I've seen people do the hundred things about themselves thing, but I didn't do that myself. I just stopped posting every day..

JeanMac said...

Congrats on one year. I just enjoy your blog and writings - carry on!

Fragrant Liar said...

I love whatever you put out. Heh, heh, you put out . . .

Um, I'm an UNsweet tea drinker. I too have been trying to eat better with a diet that's not a diet, but a way of eating for life. And it's working, though I do want to drop ten pounds -- and I will, cuz I'm still channeling Holly. What channel is that anyway, TNT?

When my youngest daughter told me about five years ago that she should have listened to me because I was right about big things in her life? I told everybody. I couldn't help it. It was a damn miracle. And now she denies it. Oh well.

Reader Wil said...

I start the day with tea, then coffee, in the evening tea again. For my birthday I got a bouquet made of tea bags from my daughter. It had all kind of tastes and varieties. Your posts are always amusing and worth reading, that's why I come and visit you, and you promised to take me on a (motor) bike ride!!

Kathy said...

oh crap - we're supposed to do something for our 1 year blogoversary?
I love change. Not too much, not too little.
And sweet tea from McDonald's gives me a toothache just thinking about it - but I love the Crystal Light raspberry tea.
And I haven't talked to the Wii since it told me I was obese. I'm going to yell at it later today. Harumph.

Vodka Mom said...

The new tradition for your blogiversary is to send any bloggers with alcohol in their name one million dollars. Or ten.


Jan said...

Someone commented earlier that they come to your blog because of your "voice" - reading what you write is like sitting next to you, listening to you talk.

I wholeheartedly concur. This is what keeps me coming back.

I don't make sweet tea very often any more, simply because I'm the only one who drinks it and it will sit in the fridge and go bad. But when I do, I use Splenda - I buy it in liquid form and a teaspoon and a half sweetens it up just fine.

I miss Southern food. So much so that I've learned to make my own pimento cheese. Now, that's just sad.

nothingfancy1 said...

For your one year blogiversary you are required to throw a big party for all of your readers at the beach near your home. This includes air fare and accomodations. You will be repaid by our witty and inspiring company, not to mention our undying gratitude. Oh yeah and we want a ride on the Harley with MHS.

:) Congrats on one year! I've loved getting to know you and reading your posts. I must say that my favorites are your Lucy posts. Somehow I feel like I knew her. ((Hugs))

Beth Niquette said...

You are one of five bloggers I love the most. Your insights and amazing writing skills just make my day! Happy one year anniversary!

So, have you tried stevia for sweetener? My husband uses it. It is totally natural, made from the leaves of the stevia plant. A friend of ours has the plant growing in his greenhouse. The leaves are so sweet it's mind-boggling.

The reason you may be craving Dr. Pepper, could have to do with your insulin levels. Insulin is produced anytime you eat something sweet, or food that is highly processed. It is digested too quickly so that your insulin levels go sky high, then plunge down below where it should be--causing the urge for something which will put the insulin levels to rights.

That can cause a person to become insulin resistant. That's what I have--I was gaining weight, and didn't know why--and could not get the pounds to leave me.

Did you know insulin is called the fat hormone?

The reason I've been battling my weight with no results is because I've been eating too much highly processed foods, so that my body is producing too much insulin.

If you google Low GI diet you'll find the way you're eating, which South beach diet, (we've added a fruit and protein snack in between each meal. Along with drinking PLENTY of water, and staying away from anything white (processed) or other types of highly processed foods (Marie Calendar pies--ah, dream. Add to that 45 minutes of exercise, or 10,000 steps per day, and your body will start to respond.

Since I started eating this way about a month and a half ago--I've now lost over 20 pounds. It is just incredible, I've lost over four inches in my waist alone. The weight is dropping off. My husband has lost about 17 pounds.

It's some kind of miracle. (grin) Hope you have a perfectly marvelous week!

Tony Letts said...

That smart mouth dropping you in it again! Wouldn't be you without it though would it?

As for the future. Maybe remember that some of your readers are from 'the other side' and might need the odd translation.

I enjoy finding out what life is like in your neck of the woods!

Lastly, don't use artificial sweeteners! There are natural things like honey that would be better.

Debbie said...

Glad to hear you are closer to your "reunion goal weight" and that you kicked the DAMNED ZONE! I soooo totally agree with what Pseudo said about you in the last paragraph to a TEA...I mean T....and by the way I love sweet tea too and you're's just not the same without the shugah!...That's how we say it in Maine...sorry. I am anticipating great things from you for your never disappoint. many lbs. have you lost my dear?? Do come many??

midlife slices said...

I can't stand sweet tea unless I'm the one putting in the sugar because it's usually so sweet I can't handle it. Ugh. Bravo to you for losing weight. Now I officially hate you as I continue to gain back everything I lost. *wink wink*

I think stress is putting more weight on me than anything I'm sticking in my mouth. As for why I come here....I just come back to see what you'll say or do next. It's always good even when it's bad. LOL

I'm sure for your one year blogaversary you're supposed to take a vacation to Texas....somewhere around the Dallas area. I'm sure that's right.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Otin-I had cut way back on the sugar but now on the SBD, I'm not supposed to have it at ALL! So now I'm enjoying Publix sugar free sweet tea. Yum. I'm not sure why it doesn't taste that great when I make it but it doesn't. *sigh*

Pseudo-I like to add one Lady Grey tea bag in with my black tea. It gives it just a little extra something special.
And that's how I became the goat whisperer. Wouldn't it be fun if we were sitting next to each other. :-)

CG-Prune juice in Dr. Pepper? Hmmm, I'll have to remember that.

ED-I like the way you think. But alas, I must stick with the Wii Wii anyway.

MrsK-I am really feeling better and less tired since we started the SBD. But I can't say I don't miss the sugar. :-(

MLJH-Nonsense it is! Try the SBD. The first two weeks are tough but after that, it shouldn't be too bad.

BV-You are so sweet!

Jason-I love you.

Donna-Yep cutting back is the way to go but now I can't have the sugar at all. Your fruit smoothies sounds yummo! Can't wait to have one.

Movie-That's what I'm here for: To serve, my friend. LOL

I love splenda. Well....not like sugar but almost. I'm pretty sure that's what is in the Publix tea but it's crap when I make it myself. I look forward to one day sharing the Diet Dr Pepper stash. :-)

JJ-That I AM!

Beth-I do love me some Paula Deen and now that we're friends, can you hook me up? LOL

PS-I gain and lose the same 3 lbs too. Now I just wish that was all I had to lose.

Kimberly-Coming right up. LOL

Michel-Can't do the cherry flavored soda. Long story. Icky.

SK-I think you might find that I will cut back on my posting frequency too. That will make MLJH happy and MHS too. :-)

Jean-Thank you so much

Liar-You be Holly and I'll be Kyra Sedgewick or that girl on In Plain Site....whatshername.

Wil-You can have that ride whenever you want it. :-)

Kathy-Why does the damn wii have to be so cheerful about it when it says you're OBESE! Grrrr.

VM-Right after I win the lottery. Don't hold her breath. LOL

Jan-So how doooo you make pimento cheese? And what happened to those vacation plans? Any chance you ARE going to be sitting next to me sometime?

Fancy- :-) You made me cry. :-)

BethN-I'm honored to be in your top 5. And thanks for the great advice. We have never eaten much processed food but we are cutting way back on all sugars now.

Tony-Just let me know any time you need a translation. You know it might just be me being me and not really an American expression that has you confused. LOL

Debbie-Don't get too excited just yet. I've lost 8lbs but so many more to go. It's a start.

MLS-"You know I love you more than my luggage." And speaking of luggage, maybe I should start packing for that trip to Texas.

Delaney said...

I have always been a devotee of Diet Dr. Pepper - best soda ever! One of the few diet sodas that actually tastes great and you don't feel deprived of the real thing.

I had giveaways galore for my blogaversary to celebrate by sharing with friends but it is up to you, no hard and fast rules.

Glad that the change in diet is more tolerable now.