Thursday, January 21, 2010

MYSTERY…….MEAT?

I cleaned out the freezer the other day.  I found some things that appeared to have been in there for 100 years.  Have you ever started a housekeeping project that suddenly finds you embarrassed at how badly you manage your household.  June Cleaver would have been appalled at the state of my freezer.  On the other hand, I would have made my mother, Lucy, very proud.   Lucy firmly believed that nothing should be thrown out until it was the proper shade of rotten.

Come along and I will share what I found:
  • A few packages of vegetables that died from freezer burn years ago.
  • One lonely dark chocolate truffle shivering way in the back, long forgotten.  I bet Brian Miller could write a poem about this little guy.  Believe me, there is not a soul in this house who would have left that sucker there.  It was definitely forgotten.
  • Half a Costco size package of hotdogs from a family cook-out 5 years ago.  (Yeah, I’m more than a bit embarrassed about that one……….we don’t even eat hotdogs)
  • And then there was the ………………………………….mystery……………..meat?  I’m really not sure what that was.

I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t this:
DSC03088

or this:

   DSC03459


I know that it wasn’t this:
DSC03505

It might have been this:
DSC03511

But it looked more like bean dip.  But seriously?  Would I really freeze bean dip?  Maybe……………….I guess.  Help me, my friends.  I’m losin’ it.  What would possess me to freeze something so unappetizing that I can’t imagine eating it the first time around, let alone saving some to enjoy again?

This is a little scary to me.  What was so wonderful that I said to myself, “Hey, Self!  There’s no way your family is going to eat all this yummy glop before it rots.  Why don’t you freeze it so you can open it years later, wonder what it is and throw it out savor the magic."


So what’s in your freezer?  Do you know?


Hugs,
Smart Mouth Broad


37 comments:

Laura said...

LMAO! Now I know how to name those weird packages that I dig up sometimes from the dephts of my freezer: yummy glops. haha

You should have made something with that stuff...A "McGlop" maybe?lol... "It's yummy but I don't know what it is."

Very funny blog, SMB, thanks for the good laugh!

only a movie said...

Damn. I need to clean out my freezer. You have no idea.

Funny post, SMB. xo

Brian Miller said...

it is so dark
here in my world
covered in frost
forgotten.

my dreams so big
only for you
and your pleasure
forgotten.

haha. best i can do at 5:30 am. lol.

we probably need to clean ours out. and i am afraid.

otin said...

So when I come to florida to visit you guys, we will be eating out, right? hahaha!

Jan said...

Considering I recently found two small packages of freezer-burnt and inedible ground beef hiding behind a bag of almond meal that's been in my freezer since the last time I was on a low carb diet (3 years ago maybe?), I got NO room to talk.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Are you sure you weren't at My house, cleaning My freezer??

Arkansas Patti said...

I just love "proper shade of rotten"
Actually, power outages ususally keep my freezer pretty current.

Linda said...

Frozen veggies go bad?? Shit!

blueviolet said...

The thing is that you don't recognize it because the surface totally changes composition!!! Why do we even bother to freeze anything at all?

Sandy said...

Seriously, I'm off to find out! I'll get to you on that if you'd like. :-)

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Mine gets cleaned regularly cause hubs has a horrible habit of putting beer in the freezer to get it nice and cold, then forgetting one and going to bed. Beer explodes. IT's gross and freezer has to get cleaned.

I LOVED your foodie shots.

TC said...

My husband has a fit when he looks in my freezer and he isn't exactly a neat freak, tell you anything? We also have mystery veggies, desserts, bread, etc.

Duchess said...

I used to have a freezer with loose bits of tortelloni and shrivelled peas. Now I have a freezer that is about 12 inches by 8 inches. So yeah, I know what is in it!

Heather said...

Well, I went and checked. The oldest thing in my freezer is the cool whip from Thanksgiving. I'm doing good.

The Lone Star Queen said...

I actually found an unidentifiable meat object in my freezer just yesterday. I just threw it back in and decided to deal with it later. Funny post!

Donna said...

Dr. Suess would enjoy that! I mean,he does like green eggs and ham.HA!HA!LMAO! I'm sorry.ha ha ha!I could'nt resist! LOL!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

I don't have a clue what's in the bottom of that freezer, but whatever it is can only be two years old. I've only lived here that long..so I feel pretty safe.
Really funny, SMB! :)

Life in the mom lane said...

I cleaned out my freezer about a year ago... well my chest freezer... not the frig freezer *lets not go there* we threw out a bunch of stuff.... I have *general* idea what's in there now... but the frig freezer... lets just say I know about the stuff in the front.... you're shaming me into going where no man has gone before... DAMN!!!! hahahaha :)

Oz Girl said...

Damn. Is it that time of year or something? Clean-out-the-freezer January?

I just cleaned out ours last week too. I did find some unidentified meat, and some bananas sliced up in tupperware containers that had bad freezer burn. I save old bananas for fruit smoothies. Which I haven't made in forever. Because I'm eating cut-out cookies and apple turnovers instead.

I.am.so.bad.

But nothing beats that spacious, cleaned out freezer when you're all done! Now we can load 'em up with all kinds of new stuff, only to be found years later...

Tresa said...

Very funny post. I usually find the mystery stuff in my fridge. Did you prepare all of the delicious looking food in the pics?

Fragrant Liar said...

Well, it probably just grew a protective layer of ice, right? I mean, surely it was once young and lovely and you probably just wanted to make sure it stayed that way. I hear freezing is good for staving off the aging process.

Maybe I should try it myself.

Tony Letts said...

That's the trouble with those big, huge, enormous American freezers. We have one too!

NSGIRL said...

My freezer contains some serious mystery stuff! But my fridge tends to be worse...liquified veggies, green meats...yum! Sometimes I think that I should buy the stuff & come right home & dump it in the garbage before it gets to that state!

Did you ever come across something in your fridge...look at it & decide it's not quite "bad" enough to throw out yet...so you put it back...only to come back a week or two later & throw it out because it has finally reached that "throwoutable" stage! lol Unfortunately, I have actually done that!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Heh, thanks for reminding me - I really need to clean out my freezer, too. I do know there's a container of home made chili in there that I thought would be good to freeze then slowly reheat in the crockpot. Of course I've been too scared to try, and it's sitting in my freezer taunting me to throw it out. Among some other mysterious inhabitants. ;)

manker said...

yikes.. i have to know ... as an innkeeper wouldnt want to be serving up mystery meat by accident, unless of course....... :)

gp

tattytiara said...

I know what's in my freezer!

That's why I'm not going anywhere near the thing.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Ah, we're supposed to look in there? Like dig around?

Have to admit, when I saw the title of this piece, I was thinking on Spam. Now, there's a Midwestern treat our kids can only dream about.

Heather said...

I have an award waiting for you over at my place.

Reader Wil said...

Don't talk about freezers.... I have to clean mine and I keep postponing it. I hate it!! Thanks for the visit!!

Gaston Studio said...

LMAO! The freezer isn't a problem with me, but sometimes things get "forgotten" in the fridge or on the countertop... like the pyrex container of a tomato that someone sliced and kept. A few weeks later, I refused to open it because the top had swelled and I didn't want to get splattered by whatever remains were inside. I made my daughter do it...and I was the one who slice the tomato in the first place. How cruel is that?

SuziCate said...

I've found stuff like that in mine, too. Right now I'm afraid to clean mine for fear of what might wake up when thawed!!!!

Ginger@When Ginger snaps... said...

SMB, listen, I have to ask you this. Forgive me if it sounds rude. But....you have 31 comments, 32 if you count mine, on a post about what's in your freezer. How? How do you do that? I'm pretty sure there is no one in this hemisphere that cares what's in my freezer.

All I can do is shake my head and wonder, while I say, "You're good, girl!"

Jason, as himself said...

I'm sure at the time it was something good. But some things just don't freeze well, or stand the test of time, in the freezer, especially 5+ years.

I do a pretty good job keeping my current freezer up to date. But the deep freeze that we owned when I was growing up? A whole 'nother story. Pretty sure there were bunny carcasses and buckets of trout in that freezer from 20 years previous when my dad finally moved out of that house.

tera said...

Arrow heads and cave paintings!

dana said...

Two years ago I was making dressing for thanksgiving and adding sage.....then I noticed the dressing tasted.......off. SO I added more sage......then wondered......is sage SUPPOSED to be gray and hairy? Since I only use sage once a year, it had lasted a LONG time.... I checked the date....... 1996!

It had belonged to my MOM and she had been dead 10 years. (I didn't know that seasonings weren't supposed to be considered heirlooms.)

Barbara said...

My mother said: labels, dear, labels. I still don't.
The only reason I don't have mystery packages in my freezer is everyone was here Christmas and I had to clean it out to make room for everything!

midlifeslices said...

My freezer is where I hide the bodies. If ever HBL disappears.....do NOT look in the freezer. :)