THE DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA YA PARENTHOOD

I love this show.  They keep it real.  And in the end…….there’s always love.

A friend recently asked me for parenting advice.  Ahhh, parenting.  The joy.  The heartbreak.  The wonder of it all.

I became a mother at the ripe old age of 24.  Relatively young by today’s standards.  I can remember taking Daughter #1 in a stroller to the mall to get the second hole pierced in my ears.  Don’t judge, people.  It was the 80’s.  If you must know, I had big hair, MC Hammer pants and shoulder pads.  And I rocked it like nobody’s business.  But I digress….

The “10 year old” working at the ear-piercing kiosk asked me if I had a permission note from my parents to get the piercing!  I was mortified!  Couldn’t she see how very grown up I was?  I quickly explained that I was WELL over the age of 18.  I had been married for MANY years and was the MOTHER of the BABY in the stroller.  (Little did I know then that I should have been grateful.  That one day I would be crying in the  parking lot of Ross Dress for Less because some stupid twit mistook me for a SENIOR CITIZEN and gave me a 10% discount!)  But again….I digress.  My apologies.

The point I’m trying to make is that I was young, clueless and fearless as a young mother.  I did not read “What to Expect When You are Expecting.” (in part because it hadn’t been written yet)  I had not yet begun to watch Oprah, Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer.  For the record, I don’t watch any of the afore-mentioned programs but you get the idea.  I didn’t turn to the “experts”  I leaned on common sense.  If it was hungry, I fed it.  If it smelled, I changed it.  If it cried, I held it.  If it cried all day long, I threw it at its father the second he walked in the door and went to the shower to cry for 30 minutes.  I had also yet to discover the benefits of a good glass of red wine.


As the girls got older, the mommy gig got a little more complicated but they’ve turned out pretty well.  No worse for the wear, my mother would say.  The secret of good parenting is realizing that it is really just a crap-shoot.  Look around.  There are parents who read all the books (…..even the best one…..the Bible), take classes, make no mistakes and the kid still ends up in juvie.  Some of us make all the mistakes and the kids thrive despite our best efforts to screw them up.  Go figure.


When it’s all said and done, we all do the best we can.  We love them in our own language.  One of my favorite movies is The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a booze-soaked child-beater.  The movie just spoke to me.  The characters made really bad choices at times but it was what they knew.  It was a different time.  They did the best they could (OK, maybe that’s not entirely true but they tried) and in the end, there was no judgment.  Just love.  That’s what I hope for. 


That one day, my kids will look back at where I’ve screwed up and say, “But we KNOW that she LOVED us.” 

GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY…..

 

I love Christmas.  It is my most favorite time of the year.  But after all of the hustle and bustle, when the gifts have all been unwrapped, the goodies have all been eaten, the toasts have been made and the dishes are done, it gets really quiet in SMBland. 

I have to tell you.  I’m whipped.  I was so happy to have absolutely nothing to do today.  Oh sure, I have plenty to do but I ignored those little voices in my head and I planted my arse on the sofa and stayed there pretty much all day.

Perhaps I should feel a twinge of guilt for all that wasn’t accomplished today?  ………Nah!  There’s always tomorrow for that. 

Sometimes, you have to just stop. Get off the merry-go-round of life.  Say “When”.  Put your feet up.  Don’t do anything that requires thinking or moving a muscle. 

I highly recommend that if you haven’t already tried this life break, do it.  The benefits far out-weight any consequences.  You won’t regret it.  Not even a little bit. 

Hugs and Kisses,

SMB

*Sigh*

Twenty-six years ago  MHS and I were given a beautiful gift from God.  Today she is a grown woman in whom we are well pleased.  She is lovely but oh so much more.  What you can’t see behind that pretty face is a heart of gold, a brilliant mind and a funny bone that won’t quit even when we ask her to. 

Happy birthday, Sweetheart.   We love you so much!

Cherish every moment.  Time flies so fast. 

RESOLUTIONS ARE FOR SISSIES

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions.  I have commitment issues.  Making a promise to follow through on almost anything strikes real fear into the heart of this Smart Mouth(ed) Broad.  I’ve been married for 30 years.  What more do you want?   I like to win.  And making a resolution always ends with a failure, at least in my experience, more often than not within three thirty days.

2010 has not been the best of years.  I think the economy and society’s refusal to recognize my QUEENDOM has taken its toll on all of us.  But I am nothing if not a cock-eyed optimist.  I like to hope for the best and expect the worst……so that I’m never disappointed.  Cock-eyed, I tell ya. 
So this year I’m lowering my expectations.  Baby steps.  Here are my New Year’s resolutions for 2011.

1. I resolve not to gain any weight.  For years I’ve been trying to lose the equivalent of a 4 year old child.  Here’s to hoping that 2012 doesn’t have me lugging around (= to) a six year old.
2. I will stop myself from making promises that I can’t possibly keep.  i.e, “I will blog words of wisdom every single day of my 50th year.”  You didn’t believe that, did you?
3. I will read more books.  The Bible, trashy novels, spy novels, self-help books.  I will finish reading Eat, Pray, Love.  I am lolly-gagging for sure on this one.  I absolutely adore this woman author.  I feel a strong kinship.  The problem is that a dear friend of mine told me that once you get past “eat”, It all goes downhill….or is it uphill?  Whatever…it’s not so good.  So I'm lingering.  I’m savoring every word of the “eat” section.  I might even finish in 2011 if I pick up the pace just a bit.
4. I will drink the occasional martini.  Dirty.  With 3 olives.  Shaken, not stirred.  Hey, I’m 49+1 now.  Martinis are soooooooo grown up.  But writing “soooooooo” really isn’t, is it?
5. I will wine a lot.  It makes me feel better. 
6. I will eat no less some cookies.
7. I will cherish the “little moments” and enjoy the journey.  Sometimes, I get all caught up working toward and anticipating the big stuff.  A little older, a little wiser now, I realize that it’s the little moments that make all the difference. 
8. I will spend more time doing things that give me pleasure.   Get your mind out of the gutter, people. 
9. I will spend less time worrying.   I spend a good deal of time worrying.  No more.
10. I will find time to read more of my favorite blogs.  I miss you guys.  I miss knowing what is happening with your lives.  I will not let it become my life.  Balance.  Balance.  Balance.  That is the key. 
11. In 2011, I will strive for balance.  Wish me luck.  History has proven this to be a real challenge for me. 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the blogosphere, I raise my glass to you.  You are some of the best, most interesting, caring and talented people I’ve ever (not) met. 

Happy New Year, Ya’ll!

May all your dreams come true.

Love and Kisses,
SMB

MY NEW OBSESSION

I can’t help myself.  I have a girl crush on every single one of these ladies.  I’ve never recorded a talk show on my DVR (formerly known as Tivo) before now.  Oh sure, I recorded an Oprah here or there if there was some “can’t miss” topic or guest.  I loved Regis and Kathie Lee and then Regis and Kelly even more but I have never recorded the program.


The talk is touted as a “Mom” show.  While each of these women are indeed mothers, they collectively and individually bring so much more than motherhood to the table.  They discuss things that apply to all of our lives.  They aren’t too political.  They aren’t too professional.  They are fun.  They are interesting.  They are real.


You know that old dinner conversation topic, “Who would you invite (dead or alive) to a dinner party if you could have any guest you choose?  I have my set of people who I would invite.  But now……. I want an another dinner party, Scratch that….make it a luncheon with just these gals.


If you haven’t had a chance to check out “The Talk”, go now and set your DVR or better yet, check your local listing and watch it live.   I’ll wait………………

*****fingers tapping*****

OK, great!  Tomorrow, grab your beverage of choice and sit down a spell for a nice break with some new girlfriends. You’ll be glad that you did.  And I’m not just talking to the girls here.  My Harley Stud would never admit it, but let me tell you, when these ladies talk, he listens.  Or maybe he is just looking at cleavage but whatever… they grab his attention.

I wish that I could watch it live but that pesky thing called a job always gets in the way.  If you have the opportunity to watch live,  you can join in the interaction via facebook and/or twitter if you are so inclined.

Don’t forget.  Watch.
Hugs and Kisses,

SMB

Disclaimer:  I have in no way been compensated for my glowing review of this program.  I am not related to any person working on or in affiliation with The Talk.  I just love it.  And you will too.  Money back guaranteed!  And if you don’t love it too……What do you know anyway!