PROMISES, PROMISES

I know that I promised Words of Wisdom every day here in these pages so that YOU could benefit from my mistakes learning and failures experience.  But the beauty of being fifty is that it comes with the gift of discernment.   Fifty means you have the ability to know which promises to keep and which ones to well……..pretend to forget that you made.  There, I said it.  Consider yourself blown-off.  Rude?  Maybe.  But come on in.  Sit down and I’ll pour the wine and we can talk about it.  I’m certain that when we’re through thanks to the wine and just the right amount of BS,  you will come to see things my way. 

You see, some days just turn to (for lack of a better word) poop.  Up becomes down.  Right is now left.  Slow is fast.  Pink is orange.  And pink should NEVER be orange!   Some days, the only promise you can manage to keep is to love, honor and *cough* obey  your beloved spouse.  And even that is a struggle because those little voices in your head keep telling you to kill him in his sleep.

Life can get rough, dammick!  I’m not whining.  OK, I am whining.  But it is justifiable whinification, I tell you.  And speaking of wine, may I pour you another glass?

Cheers!   *glasses clink*

Where was I?  Oh yes.  I’m not going to go into details because who wants to hear that!  The only thing worse that listening to someone whine and complain (no matter how justifiable) is to listen to them whine and complain in detail.  I much prefer to be vague and mysterious.  *Imagine dreadful situations and feel terribly sorry for me.  Send cards, letters, cash. And I’ll just keep quiet about how I was unable to get my pedicure, I’m out of coffee cream and my brakes are squeaking.*

Oh dear, it appears that we’ve drained the bottle.  Are you OK to drive home?  No?  No worries, just lie down and take a little nap here on the sofa.  I’ll just tuck you in with my favorite snuggly throw. 
So, we’re OK now, right?  You completely understand about the whole promise breaking debacle?  Great!  Now just rest here and when you wake, I’ll fix some biscuits and gravy to send you on your way. 

Todays Words of Wisdom aka WOW are:  “When you’re going through hell, keep on going.  You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.”

Isn’t he a cute country boy?

ON THE 15TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS…..

I just wrote a whole post on how I still haven’t taken down my Christmas decorations.  It was so stinking boring, I couldn’t even finish.
 
Today’s “Words of Wisdom” are:
Don’t be afraid to hit the delete button.  Sometimes it’s the best thing you can do. 

Since I don’t seem to have the presence of mind to write anything of interest today, here’s a fun little video.  Daughter #1 was part of a flash mob organized to support the Susan G. Komen South Florida Race for the Cure.  See if you can spot her.  She’s the one in pink.
 
As the office manager for a Boobiologist practice, I see the Susan G. Komen funds at work everyday to help women get the breast care they need.  If you don’t have a local connection to SGK and would like to donate, click here.

Gardens Mall–Race for the Cure Flash Mob

Hugs and Kisses,
SMB

THE DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA YA PARENTHOOD

I love this show.  They keep it real.  And in the end…….there’s always love.

A friend recently asked me for parenting advice.  Ahhh, parenting.  The joy.  The heartbreak.  The wonder of it all.

I became a mother at the ripe old age of 24.  Relatively young by today’s standards.  I can remember taking Daughter #1 in a stroller to the mall to get the second hole pierced in my ears.  Don’t judge, people.  It was the 80’s.  If you must know, I had big hair, MC Hammer pants and shoulder pads.  And I rocked it like nobody’s business.  But I digress….

The “10 year old” working at the ear-piercing kiosk asked me if I had a permission note from my parents to get the piercing!  I was mortified!  Couldn’t she see how very grown up I was?  I quickly explained that I was WELL over the age of 18.  I had been married for MANY years and was the MOTHER of the BABY in the stroller.  (Little did I know then that I should have been grateful.  That one day I would be crying in the  parking lot of Ross Dress for Less because some stupid twit mistook me for a SENIOR CITIZEN and gave me a 10% discount!)  But again….I digress.  My apologies.

The point I’m trying to make is that I was young, clueless and fearless as a young mother.  I did not read “What to Expect When You are Expecting.” (in part because it hadn’t been written yet)  I had not yet begun to watch Oprah, Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer.  For the record, I don’t watch any of the afore-mentioned programs but you get the idea.  I didn’t turn to the “experts”  I leaned on common sense.  If it was hungry, I fed it.  If it smelled, I changed it.  If it cried, I held it.  If it cried all day long, I threw it at its father the second he walked in the door and went to the shower to cry for 30 minutes.  I had also yet to discover the benefits of a good glass of red wine.


As the girls got older, the mommy gig got a little more complicated but they’ve turned out pretty well.  No worse for the wear, my mother would say.  The secret of good parenting is realizing that it is really just a crap-shoot.  Look around.  There are parents who read all the books (…..even the best one…..the Bible), take classes, make no mistakes and the kid still ends up in juvie.  Some of us make all the mistakes and the kids thrive despite our best efforts to screw them up.  Go figure.


When it’s all said and done, we all do the best we can.  We love them in our own language.  One of my favorite movies is The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a booze-soaked child-beater.  The movie just spoke to me.  The characters made really bad choices at times but it was what they knew.  It was a different time.  They did the best they could (OK, maybe that’s not entirely true but they tried) and in the end, there was no judgment.  Just love.  That’s what I hope for. 


That one day, my kids will look back at where I’ve screwed up and say, “But we KNOW that she LOVED us.” 

GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY…..

 

I love Christmas.  It is my most favorite time of the year.  But after all of the hustle and bustle, when the gifts have all been unwrapped, the goodies have all been eaten, the toasts have been made and the dishes are done, it gets really quiet in SMBland. 

I have to tell you.  I’m whipped.  I was so happy to have absolutely nothing to do today.  Oh sure, I have plenty to do but I ignored those little voices in my head and I planted my arse on the sofa and stayed there pretty much all day.

Perhaps I should feel a twinge of guilt for all that wasn’t accomplished today?  ………Nah!  There’s always tomorrow for that. 

Sometimes, you have to just stop. Get off the merry-go-round of life.  Say “When”.  Put your feet up.  Don’t do anything that requires thinking or moving a muscle. 

I highly recommend that if you haven’t already tried this life break, do it.  The benefits far out-weight any consequences.  You won’t regret it.  Not even a little bit. 

Hugs and Kisses,

SMB

*Sigh*

Twenty-six years ago  MHS and I were given a beautiful gift from God.  Today she is a grown woman in whom we are well pleased.  She is lovely but oh so much more.  What you can’t see behind that pretty face is a heart of gold, a brilliant mind and a funny bone that won’t quit even when we ask her to. 

Happy birthday, Sweetheart.   We love you so much!

Cherish every moment.  Time flies so fast.