MIRROR, MIRROR IN MY PURSE

F+1  Tip:  Always carry a mirror.  And use it.

I was thirteen when my grandfather died and my grandmother came to live with us.  After sharing several meals with my dear grandma, it became quite apparent that she had no feeling in her chin.  The woman always had food on her face.  As a young Smart Mouth Broad, I had plenty of comments on the subject.  All of said comments were kept to myself so as to keep my teeth intact. (She had a cane and knew how to use it.)  I would sit and wonder at how in the world she could have that big glop of gravy on her chin and not seem to notice.  Was there an age when it suddenly became acceptable to have mustard on your face?  A geriatric fashion statement, perhaps? 

A few decades later, my mother starting exhibiting signs of loss of sensation of her chin.  Always a stickler for proper etiquette, a napkin was always at the ready and eventually she would wipe her mouth and remove the goo from her face.  But still I marveled at how she didn’t seen to notice there was anything there.   After all, I could always feel when excess mayonnaise escaped from my sandwich onto my chin.  Sometimes I put it there just to be sure.

Recently my own children, who never hesitate to notify me of anything that could cause potential embarrassment….for them, have started gesturing to me to wipe my chin.  Fifty FLIPPIN’ years old and already I’ve lost all feeling in my chin!  I haven’t even gone through menopause yet! 

There appears to be an elephant in the room that no one wants to mention.  We hear all about loss of hearing, memory and eyesight.  We know that we lose the hair we want and grow it back in places we don’t.  You can’t turn on the television without hearing about arthritis pain, bone loss and high blood pressure.  But no one and I mean NO ONE is talking about chin sensory loss. 

To my knowledge, there is no pill, no lotion, no potion, no 12 step program to avoid, repair or cure Mayonnaise on the Chin Syndrome.  Therefore my words of wisdom today are:  Carry a mirror.  Never leave home without it. 

 

Love and Kisses,

SMB