THE TROPHY WIFE TELLS A STORY

My friend, the Trophy Wife, is a great story teller. I love spending time with her because besides the fact that she is a warm and caring friend, she is also a lot of fun and very smart. We caught up on my way home from work one day this week. I was telling her about our stroll thru the shopping plaza. She said, "Did I ever tell you about the time I met JJ and the Chef at Johnny Rockets last summer?" I said that I didn't think so and the story began.

It was a Friday and the TW worked late that day. Her youngest daughter had gone to a concert (the only child left at home) and her husband, the Rocket Scientist, was out of town on business. She didn't feel like going home to an empty house on a Friday night so she called her friend, JJ. JJ and her husband, The Chef, were already at Johnny Rockets having burgers when the TW called. They invited her to join them because even though they were already eating, they were still waiting for their daughter to join them and planned to stay awhile and visit.

TW rushed over to the shopping center and drove all around looking for a parking space. The plaza is always packed on Friday night because of the movie theatre and all the restaurants. The parking garage was closed due to construction to add another floor (because of the lack of parking). She didn't want to keep her friends waiting and was getting more and more frustrated with each unsuccessful loop around the parking lot. She finally gave up and valeted the car. She rushed up the stairs to Johnny Rockets and joined JJ and The Chef.

Once she joined her friends, she forgot all about the parking fiasco. She was happy to enjoy the company of her good friends while she ate her meal. At one point, a man she didn't recognize came to their table to speak with The Chef. She explained that she rarely goes anywhere with JJ and the Chef that they don't run into someone they know. They own a very nice restaurant in the area and do a lot of charity work. They know a lot of people. TW was checking on her daughter via text messaging when the gentleman walked over and joined them. She was only half paying attention to their conversation. After the man left, the subject was changed and she forgot to ask about the man to whom they were talking.

When it came time to leave, The Chef went to get his car and JJ walked TW to the valet counter. That's when the same man from the restaurant approached them again. They struck up a conversation about the need for valet parking at the shopping center and this was all TW needed to remember her frustration upon her arrival. She began to tell the man about how hard it was to find a parking space and how poorly planned the parking area was. She went on to say, "Whoever designed this shopping center is a stupid idiot!"

That's when the man smiled and said, "I guess that would be me. I'm the architect."

This whole time JJ was making googly eyes at TW, coughing and quietly doing everything she could think of to stop her tirade but TW was hearing none of it. She was on a roll. And now she was feeling quite embarrassed. She apologized, of course but what can you say after something like that? "Oh, I didn't really mean it?" Of course you can't say that.

The architect was very gracious about it and said that in his defense, when the plaza was planned; it was supposed to be office space and restaurants. However the developers were unable to market it as office space and it was changed to retail leasing. That made a huge difference in the need for parking.

Don't worry, TW was eventually able to get her foot out of her mouth.

Has this ever happened to you? Do you have an Open Mouth, Insert Foot moment to share? It would make the TW feel so much better.

EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

I sing. I sing in the shower. I sing in the car. I sing along with the radio. I sing loud, I sing proud and I have no talent whatsoever. In fact, the first time D1 put two words together in a sentence, it was to say, “no sing”, as she put her hand over my mouth when I was singing her to sleep. (D2 thinks I sing beautifully by the way. She is a darling, sweet child OR she could be tone deaf OR she just knows on which side her bread is buttered.)

A few days ago, I was driving into town by myself. The CD player was blasting out some of my favorite tunes. I had the volume cranked up the way you do when you are in the car alone. I’m singing my heart out to Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. (The best one - Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell) As I’m slowing to a stop at a red light, I hear someone honking their horn. At first I didn’t think the horn was directed at me and I proceeded. Once stopped, I’m still singing and again I hear this horn. I look for the source of this interruption and find a big ole SUV beside me with a man behind the wheel waiving to me. I’m sure I had that “what the….” look on my face until I finally realized that it was my friend, who I will call the rocket scientist. (because he really is one) I smiled and waived back with that sheepish grin you get when you’ve been caught red-handed. I don’t know why I was so embarrassed but I was. I mean, everybody sings in the car, right?

Now, if my friend, RS, pays any attention to the drivel that his spouse, who I will call The Trophy Wife, and I dish out, he will know that I am famous for singing in the car with my daughters and usually have a hairbrush or a wire whisk as my substitute microphone. The Trophy Wife even bought me my very own travelling microphone just for this purpose. But I don’t think he pays that much attention to our chatter. So I’m left feeling embarrassed and wondering if I was the topic of conversation at the dinner table that evening.

Referring to my friend as The Trophy Wife is done with tongue in cheek. She is in fact beautiful and in great shape and looks like a trophy wife . And I hate her for it. Did I say that out loud? But seriously, she is a brilliant woman who is actually a mechanical engineer (perfect match for the rocket scientist)

So, friends, don’t leave me out here twisting in the wind. Tell me your embarrassing moments in your car. Come on, don’t be shy. I won’t tell a soul. Just between you and me. I promise.