IN THE ZONE

Remember how excited I was that both of our girls would be home for the summer. Daughter #2 has been here since the first of May when spring semester ended at her school. She is now officially a sophomore. Woot!

Daughter #1 arrived home this weekend when school in North Carolina let out for the summer. She completed her first year teaching sixth grade social studies and survived! Woot!

D1 seems to be having some trouble realizing that it’s summer and school is out. I’ve always been supportive of her choice to teach school. But now it seems that has come back to bite me in the butt. Today I received a text message that went something like this:

“How tall are you and what do you weigh?”

What the……..?

“I’m doing The Zone for all of us.”

Really? D1 has been harassing encouraging me to try The Zone Diet for a few years now. I’ve always said not just no but HELL NO politely declined. You see, I don’t know if you’ve ever tried this diet or even heard of it but it’s quite complicated to my way of thinking. D1 insists that it’s very simple. Uh huh…….

When I came home from work, she got out the dry erase board. Think I’m kidding?

She proceeded to explain to My Harley Stud and I just what we would be eating and how much of it. There were blocks and grams and carbs and fats and proteins. My head was spinning. MHS commented that he didn’t think he had enough blocks. She said, you won’t starve on this diet.

He said, “I’m starving NOW and you’ve just started.”

Note to D1: Never give a lecture about nutrition and diet until after your students have eaten.

She explained that everything would need to be measured and weighed. Then she looked at me and said, “We’re pretty much going to have to feed Daddy but I think in the time I’ll be here this summer, he “can” learn.

I said, “Wait, I need to make notes.”

MHS said, “Don’t worry, I’m sure she has handouts.”

“No, not for the class, for my blog!”

After a presentation that lasted longer than an hour, we fixed dinner, a pre-planned non zone meal. We did have some yummy veggies even if we weren’t “in the zone”.

D#2 came in just as we were finishing dinner. D#1 says, “OK, now I want you two to present the material to D2. That will be your test to see if you were listening.”

I looked at MHS, “Test! I didn’t know there would be a test. I WASN’T listening. Crap!” I should have known. This is the same woman who made us take the social studies quiz in her class when we went to NC to visit last fall. (which by the way, we aced)

I made a lame attempt to explain what we had learned. D2 began to complain at what small portions of protein she would have. MHS made his contribution to our presentation by saying, “Eat spinach! You can eat a shitload of spinach!”

And to think how excited I was to have her home. Who knew we were entering the Nazi food camp?