RELAX! YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME

STOP THE PRESSES! The Christmas season is NOT upon us! Don't buy into the commercialism that has become our holiday season. It's just not true!

Grab yourself a glass of wine, your favorite magazine, a good book or your honey and kick back and enjoy the moments. Forget about the holidays: What to cook? What to buy? How to decorate? Which cookie recipe to use? How long the line is at Starbucks to get a peppermint mocha?........forget it all.

The man with more things to do than all of us added together isn't worried. He isn't stressing. How do I know? A picture is worth a thousand words:

Yes indeedy. That's him up there. Santa is at the post office picking up chicks in corvettes. Does he look stressed to you?

I apologize for the quality of the picture but I had to take it while in hot pursuit. Prancer caught me taking Santa's incriminating photo and was trying to run me down. But it's him. White beard, white hair, big belly. Who else wears red shorts, a red tshirt and red flipflops (slippers to Pseudo, Smitty and Pualani)? Oh yeah, it's him, alright.

Now go enjoy your evening and stop worrying about how you're going to get it all done. If Santa isn't stressing, why should we?

NUTS ABOUT NUTS

***Note***
I haven't forgotten about Thistle's Helping Hand's Project. The treats that I'm posting about play a small part in my plan. I'm having some difficulty writing about it but know that there is a plan in place and I'm working on telling you all about it.

I've got another recipe for you today. But before I get to that, let me tell you about my trip to the mall during my lunch hour today. I.AM.GETTIN'.MY.CHRISTMAS.ON! I've got the Christmas tunes playing in the car. I'm practicing random acts of kindness by not cutting off any cars or stealing any parking spaces. (Because I'm so pure of heart and all)

I found a parking space right away, right up front. Shhhhh, don't tell MHS! He insists I park in the next county because he thinks I need the exercise so as to avoid door dings. At least I didn't take advantage of the valet parking that they offer at the mall. Can you believe that! Well, believe it, because we have valet parking at the mall. MHS would have really had a fit if I had done that. He's very particular about our vehicles but you'd never know it right now because my car is puritty dirty.

Once in the mall, I'm on a mission. I have a goal and I accomplish it quickly. I can't mention what said goal was as there are family lurkers here and the surprise would be ruined. With my main purpose already in the bag (pun intended), I had some time to kill so I decided to look around and see if I could get any ideas. Both my daughters are fashionistas. (Remember the scarves for shooting trap?) I wandered my way over to a store that I don't want to mention here because they aggravated me so badly; I don't want to promote them in any way. If you are familiar with the chain, the store has a front porch. In the mall! Normally I love me a front porch as I love porch sittin'. Not here though. Not this place. The music blasting out of the store was so loud that I didn't get five feet from the entrance and I was done. Not feelin' it! But I did a quick once through against my better judgment. It was so loud that I could see the salesperson's lips moving but I couldn't hear what she was saying. So I ignored her and moved on out the door.

I know I'm old. I have a birthday coming up really quick that proves it. But shouldn't these stores realize that at this time of year, it's the parents laying down the cash and make it more enjoyable for us to shop there? Just an idea. You know…..if I ran the world. Anyway, I moved on. Next I came uponColdwater Creek. Lovely store. They played nice music that was relaxing and made me want to browse thru every area of this beautifully arranged store. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's a store for the old broads. Duh, that's me.

Do you think I can convince D1 and D2 to start dressing like old ladies?

Here it is, another Smart Mouth favorite treat. This one is tops on MHS's list.

Cinnamon Pecans

½ cup sugar

2 tsp. cinnamon

½ tsp. salt

1 egg white (beaten til frothy)

3 cups pecan halves

(I usually double or triple this recipe for one batch) and then make 3-4 more batches.

Preheat oven to 325 f. Combine sugar, cinnamon and salt in small bowl. In a large bowl, whisk egg white til frothy. Add pecans and toss to coat evenly. Add sugar mixture and toss again to coat evenly. Spray cooking spray on jelly roll pans and spread pecans in a single layer. Bake until toasted and crisp, about 20 minutes. I have a gas oven and I find it takes 15-18 minutes for mine.

Use a spatula to immediately loosen pecans right out of oven.

Cool. Store in air-tight container.

I give these in those same Christmas decorated plastic bags with a ribbon like the white trash.

If you like pecans, you will love these! Or my name's not Smart Mouth Broad. Well, actually my name isn't Smart Mouth Broad. But you're gonna love 'em!