BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY…..I SWEAR

One of my numerous SUPERPOWERS is my photographic memory.  You’ve heard of people with photographic memories, right?  There are individuals who live and breathe among us who have the ability to remember everything they see.  They can look at a page in a book and remember what it said……forever.   They can remember the license plate number on the get-away car.  Grocery list? No problem.  And if you can sit next to one in the casino, you’re a sure WINNAH!
 
Yeah, well…..that’s not the kind of photographic memory that I have.  My SUPERPOWER is slightly off-kilter.  My photographic memory is more literal.  I remember every photograph I’ve ever seen…….and nothing else.  *sigh*

I may not be that helpful at a crime scene but this special gift of mine has come in handy …..and then it backfires.  For instance:

I was once on a plane and spotted a man that I was sure I had seen before.  Does that happen to you?  You see someone who you know looks familiar but you can’t quite place where you know them from.  It drove me crazy.  I spent the entire flight trying to figure out if he worked in my office building.  Maybe he was a sales rep that visits my office.  Maybe he was one of my husband’s customers.   Maybe he was the fish guy at Publix.  Did we go to the same church?
 
Finally during a lay-over in the Atlanta airport restroom, I saw an adorable, blonde haired, blue eyed little girl with her mom.  They had on these really cute, Mommy and Me, Lilly Pulitzer dresses.  And that’s when it hit me.
 
They were the wife and daughter of the the guy who owns the pizza place in my neighborhood.  It was the Pizza Guy on the plane.  Just a few days earlier, I had stood at the counter waiting to pay for our pizza and admired the photograph on the wall of the wife and daughter.  I was so relieved to have figured out who the guy on the plane was. I strutted right out of the ladies room and walked over to the waiting husband/father/pizza guy and told him how I had figured it all out.  As he eyed me carefully while watching for his family, it didn’t even occur to me that it might seem slightly creepy that I recognized his family from a snapshot on the pizza wall.  Hey, can I help it that I have SUPERPOWERS?

And then:

I received a message on facebook a few months ago from an old elementary school friend.  He moved to Florida just before we made the jump to middle school.  He heard that MHS and I now live in his neck of the woods and wanted to get together some time.  I was overwhelmed with work, MHS’s business and life in general and promptly blew him off promised to make a plan in the future. 

Yesterday while leaving our local bagel place, I held the door for a woman, teenage girl and man who were mysteriously familiar to me.  It wasn’t until they were getting in the car that I realized I knew them from facebook pictures.  It was my childhood friend.  I felt a little foolish chasing down his car so instead I later sent him a message asking if he had been at the same bagel place that morning.  He had.

I didn’t bother to explain that the only reason I recognized him was because he was with the same people who are in his profile pictures.  I am nothing if not a fast learner.  We’ll just keep my slightly creepy, somewhat stalkerish photographic memorific SUPERPOWERS between you and me.

I FINALLY FOUND THE SECRET

After all these years of searching for the perfect weight loss plan, I’ve finally found it.  Are ya’ll ready for this?

Gilmore Girls, ice cream and coffee.

Allow me to explain.

Daughter #2 had a tonsillectomy last Thursday.  We were warned in advance and every day since when I call the doctor to question a new development that the healing process for an adult is much harder and takes much longer than when the very same procedure is performed on a child.  No one seems to be able to explain why but I am here to tell you it is true.  The poor thing is 8 days out and still suffering quite a bit.  I’m still sleeping with her as she has to have medication during the night and I’m the designated nurse. 

*Let’s all take a moment of silence to pray for poor D2 who must not only suffer through the pain but also my sorely lacking nursing skills.*

So D2 and I are doing some serious bonding while we lie in bed watching all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, eat ice cream and drink coffee.  Well…..I’m drinking coffee.  D2 is mixing it into her ice cream……which by the way is very, very good. 

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.  Whether it’s is the lack of sleep, stress and worry or a miraculous combination of Lorelai, Rory, coffee and ice cream, I’ve lost 8 lbs.  I’m not going to question it.  I’m going to embrace it. 

Got to go.  Another episode is starting and I can’t find my ice cream scoop.

ONE MAN’S TREASURE IS ANOTHER MAN’S…….

The problem with mid-life blogging is that after you’ve been doing it for a few years you forget what you’ve already written.  Or at least I forget.  So stop me if I’ve already told you this one…..

Several years ago, I was hired by a local bank as a Notary Public.   The bank’s policy for non-payment of rental for the safe deposit boxes was to hire a locksmith to drill the boxes open and a non-employee Notary to witness the contents of the box.
 
Stop and think for just a moment how exciting this could be.  The possibilities are endless.   What would be in the next box?  Or the next one?  Of course I was young and inexperienced in the ways of the world.  I didn’t give any thought to the reality that said if one couldn’t afford the box rental, the odds that one would forfeit whatever treasure might have been kept in the box was unlikely.  Most of the boxes were empty.  There were a few that held some legal papers.  No diamonds, no letters filled with dirty, little family secrets, no gold bars, no stocks, bonds or guns.


However there was one box………..

The unit was drilled, the top lifted and inside we found something wrapped in aluminum foil.  Yes, that’s right.  ALUMINUM FOIL.  All crinkled and tightly wrapped around what appeared to be an oblong object.

Now this was the excitement I was counting on when I took the job.  Whatever could be inside the shiny wrappings?  The two bank employees, the locksmith and I held our collective breathes as the foil was carefully opened to reveal ……………………………………….…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… A BAKED POTATO!

What the …..?

Oh of course we had to pick it apart.  Did some crazy nut case hide a huge gem inside the potato?  Did a double-agent use the potato to plant his micro-film?


Nope.  It was just a potato.  Who does that? And why?  To this day, I still think of that stupid potato and wonder……

What do you think?

FREE TO MOVE AROUND THE CABIN

For over a year now, I have been chained to the wall.  Specifically to an electrical outlet.  My old workhorse, Hilda, the laptop began telling me ages ago that her power source was failing.  In true SMB fashion, I comforted her with phrases only a mother can appreciate like, “Shake it off, keep moving, keep breathing.”  and “Put on your big girl panties, Hilda, and tough it out!” 

Family members will tell you that I can be ridiculously cheap about the silliest of things at times.  I like to think that I live by Murphy’s law……or was it Whistler’s mother? …..anyway…”If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”  And then I take it one step further to, “If it is broke but still works, use it until it’s really DEAD!” 

Well, I finally broke down and ordered a new battery for dear Hilda and suddenly it’s Spring time in SMBland.  Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, roosters are crowing, goats are bleating.  Hey, that’s spring-time in SMBland.  We live in the country.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached cruising altitude and are free to move around the cabin.  So don’t be surprised if you hear more from me.  I can take this sucker just about anywhere now.  You never know when the mood will strike to write some amazing bloggy tidbit and Hilda will be right there at my side like a loyal lady in waiting.

LONG LIVE HILDA!  BOOYAH!

IT’S SIMPLY COMPLICATED

If you’re a long-time reader here, you may remember my true love story that I wrote about how NoleBoy and Daughter #2 became an item.  The words “true love” were used with a bit of tongue in cheek but they are now approaching two years so maybe……..?   Could it be?

I’ve told you about my music wars with NoleBoy, about playing SmartAss with him by text while he was in class and our fun at Parent’s Weekend.  My Harley Stud and I love NoleBoy.  He is smart, a gentleman and a responsible young man.  He comes from a very nice family and has been raised with a value system similar to ours.  Simply put:  He’s a good guy.

What I haven’t told you before now is that Daughter #1 is in a relationship with NoleBoy’s older brother whom we shall refer to from this point forward as NoleBoy Too (who, by the way is also smart, a gentleman and a responsible young man). 

It was last October: FSU’s Homecoming.  Both D1 and NoleBoy Too are FSU alumni.  It’s kind of funny but while they went to different high schools, they still have many friends in common.  They went to the same college at the same time and even lived in the same apartment complex and yet…….they never met.  That is not until they both returned to FSU for Homecoming.  They spent the weekend with their siblings and hit it off as friends.  Once they both returned to Palm Beach County, their friendship blossomed into something more and by Christmas they too had become an item. 

At first D2 and NoleBoy #1 weren’t thrilled with this new development.  They worried that if the older sibs had a terrible break-up, it would make things awkward between the families.  Eventually they relaxed and started having fun with it. 

It does make things interesting. 

While neither couple is ready to make any life-long commitment, it’s fun to think about the what-ifs.

• At this rate, all of my grandchildren (should there be grandchildren) could have the same last name.
• Having only one set of in-laws to work with makes for easier holiday event planning/child sharing. 
• Double wedding?  Oh my!
• It’s fun to hear the stories that the siblings tell on each other.
• The level of competition when playing Wii Wii has increased tenfold. 

Aren’t they cute?

The Fabulous Four celebrating D1’s 25th birthday. 

D2 & NoleBoy on D2’s 20th birthday.

 D1 and NoleBoy Too at Miss Lolly’s 4th of July party.

Oh and the NoleBoys have a sister who is NB1's twin.  I guess MHS and I really dropped the ball by not providing her with a date too.