I got the text message today. "I'm a girlfriend!" it declared. I can't say I didn't expect it. I've been counting the days.
It was MHS's birthday. We were dining out for the occasion. I felt that little vibration from my purse. Because I have children, even though they are grown, I am always quick to check my messages to make sure all is well with the world. It was a text message from D2. The message read, "NOLE boy doesn't like olives." I turned to MHS and said with a smile, "Oh boy, here we go."
You see we have a true love test in my house. We believe that when you find your own true love *wink*, you will also find someone who feels about olives the exact opposite of how you feel about olives. We believe that God made it this way so that for all time, when you share a pizza or salad or sandwich with your own true love, the olive hater has a place to dispose of said olives and the olive lover gets bonus olives. For instance, MHS is the center of my universe. I love and adore him. (most of the time) I love olives. He hates olives. It's the perfect arrangement.
After a careful in-depth study, we have found this olive theory to be true among all the successful relationships we encountered in our research. Oh sure, there are rare exceptions. We didn't encounter any in our study but there is always an exception to the rule.
After receiving the "I'm a girlfriend" message today, I quickly replied: "Who's the lucky guy?" I received the response, "WHAT!". I smiled my most evil smile. Then I quickly quoted a lyric from Little Big Town's Welcome to the Family and texted "Does NOLE boy know that Mama has a real bad temper and Daddy's got a shotgun?" The reply came quickly…….."MoMMMMM!"
It's been twenty-three days since the olive message. I knew it was coming. Oh boy. Here we go.