Friday, October 10, 2008

23 DAYS TO TRUE LOVE



I got the text message today. "I'm a girlfriend!" it declared. I can't say I didn't expect it. I've been counting the days.

It was MHS's birthday. We were dining out for the occasion. I felt that little vibration from my purse. Because I have children, even though they are grown, I am always quick to check my messages to make sure all is well with the world. It was a text message from D2. The message read, "NOLE boy doesn't like olives." I turned to MHS and said with a smile, "Oh boy, here we go."

You see we have a true love test in my house. We believe that when you find your own true love *wink*, you will also find someone who feels about olives the exact opposite of how you feel about olives. We believe that God made it this way so that for all time, when you share a pizza or salad or sandwich with your own true love, the olive hater has a place to dispose of said olives and the olive lover gets bonus olives. For instance, MHS is the center of my universe. I love and adore him. (most of the time) I love olives. He hates olives. It's the perfect arrangement.

After a careful in-depth study, we have found this olive theory to be true among all the successful relationships we encountered in our research. Oh sure, there are rare exceptions. We didn't encounter any in our study but there is always an exception to the rule.

While on vacation in Indiana, I received another text message saying, "NOLE boy thinks Paul Newman is just a salad dressing guy too." I smiled to myself and told MHS that things must be progressing.

After receiving the "I'm a girlfriend" message today, I quickly replied: "Who's the lucky guy?" I received the response, "WHAT!". I smiled my most evil smile. Then I quickly quoted a lyric from Little Big Town's Welcome to the Family and texted "Does NOLE boy know that Mama has a real bad temper and Daddy's got a shotgun?" The reply came quickly…….."MoMMMMM!"

It's been twenty-three days since the olive message. I knew it was coming. Oh boy. Here we go.



16 comments:

Bear Naked said...

I knew we were two of a kind.
I am an OLIVE LOVER also.
One day soon I will blog about my addiction to olives. It goes back many many years.

Bear((( )))

smile said...

I am so lucky to see the beautiful words!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Bear-I can't wait to hear. Do tell!

Midlife Mama said...

Well, that certainly explains a lot! Dr. Jekyll hates olives and I love them. But I only like the black ones; not the green ones. He hates all of them. I can eat the black ones out of the can until I'm sick. LOL

When I was reading your post, I thought about that childhood rhyme, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Mama-That seals the deal. You and Dr. Jekyll are made for each other.
Now that nursery rhyme thing....let's just take that one step at a time. AIGHHHH!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I really liked the way you told this. Beautiful pictures.

I'm an olive lover. Especially kalamata olives. But I think hub is OK with olives.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

PHST-You must be one of the exceptions. LOL The pictures are not mine. I got them off the internet. I only wish my photography skills were that good.
Thanks for your encouragement.

thistle said...

what a great theory!..so much more down-to-earth than the old horoscope thingy (altho i can tell you...2 capricorns = very bad idea)

now i will be testing and watching the olive eating habits of all acquaintances...

and for the record...haven't met an olive i didn't like yet...would put them in almost everything if i could

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Thistle-Just walk up to the next good-looking prospect and ask, "Do you like olives?" It could be an ice breaker. LOL
Thanks for the heads-up on the Capricorn thingy. I'll share it with D1. She is a Capricorn.
PS. Putting Olives in the salad for dinner I'm supposed to making right now. MHS will be so pleased. :-)

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

Too funny! I hate olives and hubby loves them. Oldest dd loves them and current boyfriend does not.....aye yi yi....

MLS said...

I don't like olives and HBL loves them so it must be true. What a great Mom you are that your girls want to share their exciting news with you. I loved this post. :)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Olives? Olives? Hmmmmm. I need to do some research on this!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Lynn-I'm tellin' ya! Tell oldest DD he must be a keeper. *wink*

MLS-It's that way with every happy relationship I know. We even saw it on a sit-com recently. (I think they stole the idea from us) Oh and great mom? uh, well, I have my moments. I would say I'm a lucky mom.

24-Check it out. You'll find it's true. And after doing the research, you can use the leftovers for martinis.

Tricia said...

What a great theory. We only order olives on half the pizza. I love them, but my husband only tolerates them.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Trica-I like the extra olives so we get them on the whole pizza and then he picks them and gives them to me. :-) Thanks for stopping by my site.

KJ said...

So that's where I've been going wrong. I will have to make sure no man in my future can stand olives. I'd like my next marriage to last.

KJ
www.nanadiaries.com