Friday, April 3, 2009


I am hanging my head in shame. I built you up, Buttercup, just to let you down. I really need to learn to keep my big mouth shut.

Last night while getting ready to go out, I posted here about going to bike night and promised great blog fodder. I’ve been a reluctant biker chick for over 3 years now and I’ve never been to a Bike Night event that wasn’t at the very least interesting. You combine bikers, bikes, alcohol, music and contests and there is always something to entertain.

Until last night. We went to a Bike Night that we have never attended before. There weren’t many bikes or bikers there upon our arrival. I was starving and insisted that we eat NOW. I’m a very cranky SMB when I’m hungry.

The pub grub I spoke of was mediocre at best. And I was starving so my standards were lowered quite a bit. We did enjoy very yummy angus sliders for an appetizer. The rest wasn’t worth telling.

By the time we finished eating, all the bikes were gone. Really! What kind of bikers were these that can’t stay out past 9:30! Even I can do that and I’m a very lame biker chick.

MHS said that we got there too late because I was blogging in the bathroom while putting on my makeup. Seriously, read the last post…… took all of 2 minutes to write that piece of literary genius. Pffftt! I’m tellin ya. The night was lame all night. I don’t think we missed a thing. I didn’t even see one drunk biker chick. No games, no fancy bikes to wow the crowd.

I’m hanging my head in shame. I let you down. I didn’t come thru. To top it all off, I ended up leaving my camera on the kitchen counter so all I had was my camera on my phone which isn’t bad in good lighting but it was night and as you can see…..not so great.

K at bike night The Biker Nazi telling a tall tale.

K bike at bike night

The Biker Nazi sporting his new paint job. See the empty parking lot beyond the little tree. No bikes. Gone.


only a movie said...

You were out past 6:30 in the evening. That is un-lame in my book.

Your phone does do nice photos!

Beth said...

I agree with only a movie! And I have so many tales from this past week that I could loan you a couple. Just let me know.

Linda said...

We don't need pictures of "lame"...:)

Anonymous said...

Sad day.

To make it up to us, you must go out again tonight. MHS can take a picture of you dancing your latin moves on the table tops.

I can't wait!

Gaston Studio said...

Wow and I was waiting with baited breath for some really juicy stories!

Jan said...

I'm with only a movie on this one, too.

Hell, girl, I blogged about bookshelves and whacking people on the head with shovels this week. I'll take your lame Biker Night any day.

Michel said...

Maybe because it was a school night??

Now even bikers are disappointing us. What is next?!?!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My husband laments that I can hardly go out at night anyore at ALL. We tend to do afternoons, sunsets and happy hours becaus ai get sleepy so early.

AND you know how to load pics form you phone into your computer. I cannot do that.

Not lame. Not my friend SMB.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Movie-Well as biker chicks go, I'm pretty lame but I'm OK with that.

Beth-I can't wait to hear your tales.


Fancy-I'll see what I can do.

Gaston-Sorry about that. *pout*

Jan-Every time I think about you and your shovel, I crack up.

Michel-Must be but bike nights in these parts are traditionally on Thur nights. this one was just different. Still, I was happy to eat out and not have to cook after work and the gym.

Pseudo-I'm always jazzed up for Thu because I work from home on Fri and can sleep in. As far as the pics from phone. I cheated and emailed them to myself from the crackberry.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, dang... and I wanted to see a ruckus.

The Blue Ridge Gal

The Last Post said...

Hello, I have just come this way via Crone & Bear it and have really enjoyed reading your blog.

I am impressed that you are a "Biker Chick". I once had a ride on the back of a friends bike and was absolutely terrified.

I don't think he was too impressed with me, I held on that tight my fingers ached and refused to open my eyes.

I know I was a bit of a baby but never again.

Happy biking.

Delaney said...

From the looks of that biker dude they were all senior citizens and the nursing home has a curfew.

Anonymous said...

Hey baby somedays you're the windshield and somedays you're the bug -- better luck next time. I got a bike in the garage that Devoted Spouse hasn't taken out for a ride in about 3 years, *sigh* - no biker chick for me I guess...

Debbie said...

Makes me feel better to know that bikers are getting old and lazy - just like me!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

They ...left?! They really..left? Oh well..there will be another nights out, better bikers, more drunk biker chicks, better food..and all like that. Not to worry. The only problem is......I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME SO GET OUT THERE AND RAISE HELL!
Just kiddin' Sweetcakes!
Smiles and hugs~

Far Side of Fifty said...

So it was a biker babe blowout..everyone left? Who didn't shower?? :)

Reader Wil said...

I think you are very clever: blogging while putting make-up on! In fact you are brilliant! Hugs, Wil

Anonymous said...

And I was so looking forward to more pics of biker dogs in goggles.

thyme said...

In answer to your question: Rollerblading, we call it skating.

You made me laugh very much with this post and the previous one. Lameness certainly abounds here, and I am too lame to write multiple comments..

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm totally disappointed. My view of bikers being all raucus and rebellious and devil-may-care and crazy is seriously in the shitter. You must have a talk with them.

Debbie said...

I don't think that anything you write about is lame. You sure live a much more exciting life than I do...not that I am complaining :)..but you do! I can't keep up with you are an energizer bunny for God's sake! Give yourself a break! Love your blog...

Anonymous said...

Sorry lame bikers!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Di-And I would have made one if I would have followed your instructions.

The Last Post-I started as a young girl when my father had a motorcycle. I learned to ride myself. We didn't have a bike for many years and when MHS got another one I was really quite frightened about it. With age comes wisdom and fear. :-) Anyway, I know where you're coming from.

Delaney-Hey Missy, you must be pretty young because the Biker Nazi is just a few years older than me. Watch who you're calling a senior citizen. *wink*

CBI-Did something happen to make DS not want to ride or he just long interest?

Debbie-Not all of them but most certainly this one. :-)

Mona-Oh dear, raising hell isn't really my strong suite.

FarSide-Not me, I showered before I left.

Wil-Or just crazy....

Lisa-I'll see what I can do next time. Yesterday I tried to talk MHS into buying a sidecar for our dog Mayzie. She'd look cute in goggles.

Thyme-I wondered as I saw no ice. I haven't rollerbladed in years. Sounds like great fun.

Liar-I think your view is still safe. This night was a fluke for sure.

Debbie-Oh honey, if you only knew....

ST-I think you're going to have to put your helmet on and join me with CBI so we can liven up the crowd.

Auntie, aka cagny said...

So you get cranky when hungry? I do too. It's a miserable feeling, when you're running on empty.

Sorry about the disappointing Biker Nite.
But dang girl, you live in southern florida!!!
Every night is a good night!
Shit, I wish I live there.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Makes the biker world sound rather tame. Sometimes tame is good.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Auntie-I get VERY cranky when I'm hungry.

MLJH-Tame is very good.

Anonymous said...

I'm playing catch-up here. Only a few more to go and I'm THERE! I only have one question.......

What are Angus sliders???