Saturday, April 25, 2009


It's award season in the Bloggy World and I've been given not one but two awards!

And here I am with my little black dress at the cleaners and my pearls in the shop to be restrung. What’s a girl to do?


This award ceremony is being interrupted for an announcement from the Emergency Broadcast System.

class of 1979

It came in the mail. The big announcement. My 30th class reunion. ACK! How did this happen? I’m certain that I’m not even 30 years old yet. And now they’re telling me I’ve been out of high school for THIRTY years! How can that be! I was never very good at math. *sigh*

I’m freaking! Remember a few weeks ago when I said that Valerie Bertinelli was my inspiration and that I wanted to be the best SMB I could be by my next birthday in December. Well, now I have to up my game and get my act together by the end of August! I have to admit, I’ve been lolly-gagging. I’ve struggled with getting started. I’ve been good about getting to the gym but my food choices have not been good choices. And I’m pretty sure that Jimmy Johns is on a mission to sabotage my efforts but that’s a post for another day.

Once again I’m turning to you, the experts. I have 4 months to lose the extra pounds. Any suggestions? I guess I know what I have to do but for some reason, I haven’t done it. What’s the secret to sticking with the program? I can’t do it. It’s my short attention span. I forget that I’m committed to a plan. I’m easily distracted by chocolate chip cookies evil temptations and I cave to poor choices.

If you love me (you do love me, right?) or even if you just like me a little, have pity on this poor soul and send me your secrets. I’m on a mission now and have a good feeling that this event just might be the motivation to make it happen.

***And a little shout-out to Beauty and The Saint. Are ya wit me? Let’s make a grand entrance………….late of course.***

We now join the regularly scheduled program already in progress:

It is award season in the blogosphere. I am happy to announce that I’ve had two prestigious and quite flattering awards bestowed up on me this week. First, Jane of Gaston Studio, has presented me with the Bella award. She thinks my blog is lovely. I think she’s lovely. And speaking of lovely, Gaston Studio has some lovely things ON SALE for Mother’s Day over at her other site so go there and check it out. (Every self-respecting awards program comes complete with commercials, that was mine. -Jane, I’ll take my kickback in the form of a certified check………….or cookies, thank you very much.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you……………………………..Bella


The rules for the Bella award are:

1. Link the blog that gave you the award. Thanks, Jane. You’re the best!

2. Pass on the award to 15 bloggers who are new to you. I love this idea because it’s a great way to highlight new (to you) bloggers.

There are some really good blogs that I’ve recently started following. Check them out.They're lovely.

A la Recherche du Thyme Perdu (Besides loving her blog, I also love the name. It translates to Searching for lost thyme (time) Love it.

Beth Niquette Fine Art

Blueberry Plains

Crap on a Crutch

Delaney’s World

Dog Girl

Inside the Shell

Listen 2 Auntie

Midlife Job Hunter

Midlife, Menopause, Mistakes and Random Stuff

Mind Motion (I’m sure you’re secure enough in your masculinity to accept this pretty pink award, right? )

My Quality Time (Same goes for you, Joe)

Perfectly Unperfect MeMe

Wsprsweetly of Cottages

YewNorkBabe Title!!!

Y’all feel free to take a brief intermission to get some popcorn and champagne on the house, of course. Then get comfy because there’s more. :-)

The young and beautiful Cheap Chick (I hate her) has bestowed upon me an honor that I will cherish with my Bella award:


Cute, huh?

This is an easy one. The rules include linking back to the giver – that’s a given.

But you also have to list ten un-cute things about yourself and then pass along the award to all or at least some of the cuties you know.

With no further ado, here we go:

  1. I’m a smart arse. (You’d have never guessed, huh?)
  2. Control freak! Yep, that’s me.
  3. I can’t shut up. (yet another obvious fact)
  4. I have a somewhat new wrinkle in my forehead that makes me look like a confused Boxer. Definitely NOT cute.
  5. I make up the rules as I go along.
  6. I have a very strange sense of humor and crack myself up…….but no one else.
  7. I don’t like sexy underwear. They’re uncomfortable.
  8. I am completely neurotic about making a bed properly. You do know that the pretty sides of the sheets face each other, right? Spread the word. And another thing: Hospital corners, people. Just do it and nobody gets hurt.
  9. I secretly LOVE bologna sandwiches. (Shhhh, that’s just between you and me.)
  10. I whistle (the kind with two fingers in my mouth) to call my dogs, kids and husband. I will also use this method to gain attention in a crowded room and will sometimes use it to show my appreciation of a job well-done. It’s a talent I’ve honed to perfection much to the dismay of my family. You can take the girl out of the country…………

Believe me when I say the list of un-cute things about me is endless. I’ve only scratched the surface here. But the rules are 1o and I am nothing if not a rule-follower unless I don’t like them and then I make up my own.

I know a LOT of cute blogs and bloggers but today I’m going to highlight just one.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you……………….just the cutest little blogger ever.

Nothing Fancy

Be gentle with her. She’s a bit shy and currently recovering from surgery. She is sweet, sweet, sweet unless you make her mad. You’re gonna love her. I do.

I’m a bit overwhelmed to have my blog considered cute and lovely in the same week. I’m flattered and hope that I live up to those descriptions. Now if I could be as cute and lovely as my blog, I’d have nothing to worry about at the reunion, right?


Michel said...

SMB- If I knew the secret to weight loss I'd (a) be skinny; (b) be rich, and (c) be a total bitch

1 out of 3 ain't bad I guess...

The only thing that worked for me was when I was assigned to Iraq during the war - I had to wear kevlar in the 120 degree heat and the food was so terrible I couldn't physically swallow it.

Now, if you need me to hook you up, I bet I can get you a position at the embassy in Baghdad. Downside, 1 year tour.

Your list of not so cute things cracked me up! I too, insist on the sheets being put on that way. It makes me crazy if they are not. hA!

Michel said...

PS Congrats on the awards!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Well, for one, you don't just crack yourself up. You crack me up a lot. So there.

Diet. What's the phrase about a kettle and a pot both being black?? I stepped on the scale this morning and it IS consistant. Gotta give it that. Daughter and I are thinking of buying into one of those programs as we have a difficult time making healthy food while being busy. I've been reading a lot of articles on healthy eating (you know why). But it's a lot of work and my job is very busy right now.

Congrats on the awards. You are pretty (and so is your blog). Now I have a whole lot of new links to check out this weekend.

only a movie said...

Congrats on the awards. I wish I could give you good advice on the weight loss issues. You know that I am going to try to cut sugar and that has helped me in the past, but I'm not sure I can do the whole fasting thing.
I had a lot of success with Weight Watchers online. I am back to keeping myself accountable with it...
I skipped my 25th reunion... Good for you for using your 30th as a goal.

Jan said...

Why doesn't anyone ask me about how to do the one thing I do best - gain weight? Honestly woman, I can be NO help in this area - I have the metabolism of a comatose slug, and apparently the will power of one as well.

I've also known you're lovely and cute, too.

So there.

Debbie said...

OMG...Smart mouth...I am honored! My very, very, very, first award ever!! Now if could just figure out how to do all this stuff like linking and all that....enter...the Computer Mechanic...(my husband) to the rescue cause I am illiterate or is that iliterate?...when it comes to these seemingly simply things? Truly I am honored...thanks!! I feel like one of the BIG bloggers now. I have arrived...COOL! far as the diet..I've been on one for a year and only lost 27 pounds so I can tell what works and doesn't work! This is what worked for us (me and hubby whose lost 53...dammit)...we eat no bread, mayo, sweets to include chocolate cookies, cakes, pudding, pies...anything sweet. We eat cereal with a banana for breakfast and have ONE big meal a day...that's right only one. We eat stir fries a lot and homemade sauce with pasta and just about anything that is not bread based. We have a salad every day with that meal. We drink diet soda only or water. The reason we have not lost more weight? Not exercising and I cheat...and his portions are too big! I snag a sweet often out of his sight and sometimes in it. I know the diet sounds drastic but I am always full with that one meal and the only other thing we eat is light butter popcorn by pop bag each every night with while watching tv...JACK! I know you can do it in whatever fashion you decide to do it in. Drink lots of water before meals so it fills you up...I know...I Hate water but it works. Thanks again my friend for the award. I will figure it all out. Love you blog.

Auntie, aka Dog Girl said...

Oh! Congrats to SMB. Two well-deserved awards!
I hope one day you will show me how to do that 2-finger whistle.

To lose weight (and it worked last year), I ate a big lunch everyday (homemade, not processed junk). Then for dinner I would eat a big green salad...Oil & vinegar dressing.
Drink plenty of water.
Walk around the block everyday.

tut-tut said...

I agree with Auntie, especially the walking business. I have not been doing this and I have found myself to have expanded . . .

tut-tut said...

HAAH! I was so focused on the weight loss I didn't say, "THANKS, SMB!"

Beth Niquette said...

Oh, my goodness! Thank you! Dear girl--I am SO honored.

Do you 30th reunion is coming up too, which means we must be of similar least 25, right???

((hugs)) Thank you!

midlife slices said...

I love you man!!! Thank you thank you for not giving me an award of any kind and yes....I'm serious and NOT being a smartass.

p.s. We are twins on everything but #2 & #3 and #8 but HBL wishes I would learn to make a proper bed. He's the "hospital corner" man because he's former military.

You sure covered a wide swath in this post. LOL

Anonymous said...

First, the weight loss. I found if I cut out what I wanted the most (carbs & sugar) that I can lose weight and keep it off until I fall off the wagon and indulge again. I basically lost the weight trying to keep each meal between 400 - 500 calories. If you put in lots of meat or pastas you cant' have much to eat but if you load up with veggies and fruit you aren't missing any food cause you can eat lots of them.

Congrats on your awards and thank you for thinking of me. I got this one not that long ago so I will just put a thank you on my blog for you but won't pass it on. But I do thank you profusely for thinking of me.

Theresa said...

Congrats and thank you for the award, I will follow the rules and post in a few days.

As for losing weight I can tell you that my friends at Town Hall all did that hospital vegetable soup diet and lost a ton of weight. I tried it and lost some but had to stop because I couldn't digest all the fruit and veggies.

If you want a buddy to do southbeach, just let me know, we can be accountable to each other if you'd like.

tera said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with a compulsion I cannot control regarding the bed (I have also been known to wake Hubs up in the middle of the night sometimes when the bedspread gets all wonky). And that I'm not the only one who's been struggling with the weight issue. I wish there was some secret magic thing, like eating better and exercise and... oh. Yah. Never mind.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap Batman - this is the Bloggiest Award time I have ever seen. Congrats to you - you are definitely deserving of every award! Now, as to mine - remember my Crap on a Crutch is still in the process of being moved to my own domain so my IT guru WILL NOT LET ME POST on my current blog. So I will acknowledge on Crone and Bear It and then when IT guru finally finishes I will gladly post something on the new and improved Crap on a Crutch for my first award although i don't know how I'm going to get the damn thing actually in the picture of the crutch...Help. Now as for losing weight - I've found in a pinch my electric knife works wonders - oh it stings a bit, but just be brave, it will heal and you'll be slimmer. LOL

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

when it rains, well. You know what they say. I've got something for you over on my blog dear.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

OMG! You are going to make me grow up fast, aren't you? :) So far my links are not always working (they tell me) but I will try.
Congratulations on your awards! Listen ...there is NOT one uncute thing about you! Nary a one. Ok..maybe that you make me make links 15 times...(FIFTEEN!!!) , is rather "uncute."
However...I am off to do my best. And...I will proudly display my award. Thanks, Sweetheart!!

Anonymous said...

Don't beat yourself up. I think Val had a lot of help that wasn't just of the diet & exercise variety. She looks uhm, surgically altered. I don't know the secret to weight loss but I do know for me personally, if I don't keep very much in the house, it does cut down on what I eat- I don't run out to get it, especially if I buy great stuff to keep around. Things like fresh pears & cantaloupe really do call to me when I am hungry. I've started buying things I like in one portion quantities if they are fattening. Yes, that costs more, but you weigh less. ~Mary

Gaston Studio said...

Wow, thanks for the shoutout Smart Mouth, that was way over the top but I love it!

Hospital corner: the ONLY way a bed looks really made, and well. There are many other similarities between you and moi, like control freak and birthdays in December, etc.

Diet: Hate structured anything but this is what has worked for daughter and me (she did all the research and she's the research queen!). Eat tons of fresh fruit and veggies; watch the carb and calorie intake; eat lots of protein (evidently we women don't get near enough) and cut out anything white (bread, pasta, etc.). The less carbs you eat, the less your body craves. Boring, but it works.

Off to read your picks!

JOE TODD said...

Thanks for the Bella award. The way my mind is working this morning I will need six cups of coffee then reread the directions for the Bella award and then I may know what I am suppose to do
Thanks again SMB

Beth Niquette said...

Hehaaa...well, my son is over 18. Scary thought. Can you imagine it?! All three of my children are adults. Wonderful kids that they are! Thanks for asking, my dear. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

May God strike down Jimmy John for making delicious sandwiches that those with no will power cannot resist!!!

Wunderwoman said...

Did you check this
I know he hasn't posted in awhile, but the site is still there, so I am hopeful. I hope Vodka Mom comes back I just love her site. Thanks for visiting.

Swampy said...

Congrats on your awards. Love the list of new bloggers, just wish I had the time to visit the OLD bloggers.

A Cheap Chick said...

A neurotic control freak..... we are like sisters! Your list is great, I knew you'd have fun with it!


I'm gonna have to get in on a game of smartass someday.

Oh yeah, you make ME laugh A LOT!

Reader Wil said...

I like you! Your list of uncute things is witty and funny! I don't like sexy underwear either, for the same reason. Please stay the way you are!

Anonymous said...

Awwww...aren't you cute...I mean sweet? Okay, you're cute AND sweet! Thanks for the love. Right back at you, my friend!

As for the reunion. Forget the diet. It's must easier and less stressful to buy a gorgeous and slimming dress. And yes...SPANX. Spanx is your friend. A new slimming dress, Spanx, and then treat yourself to a trip to the salon for a hairdo and makeup job - you'll feel OH SO GOOD! And all your classmates will be so jealous...they won't know what hit them!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Michel-I would seriously consider that one year tour in Iraq except it wouldn't get me back in time for the reunion. I need quicker results. Maybe boot camp?

Glad to hear there's another woman out there with bed making super powers. This is something I inherited from my mom. Lucky me. I couldn't have gotten her great legs like my sisters?

Psuedo-Thanks. I just can't do packaged food. I have to find another way. Hmmmm?

Movie-Cutting back on sugar is a biggie but it's something I'm going to have to do.

Jan-You crack me up. I have to admit I'm a little worried about getting once again on the wagon only to be pulled off my your upcoming tex-mex recipes. Yum! Somebody slap me, please.

Debbie-One thing I won't give up is the glass of wine I drink while watching Jack. A girl needs a bit of sedation to watch that. LOL

Auntie-That might be a good plan except I would still have to cook for MHS and it's very hard to stick to salad when you still have to cook a full meal. Maybe I could do the big salad at lunch.

Tut-tut- I'm trying to hit the gym 4-5 times a week. Or do something that often. Ugh. Why does it have to be so hard!

BethN-We must be. You look younger to me. And your kids are younger too. My friend the trophy wife says she is younger than me because she still has one in high school and mine have graduated.

MLS-I knew you didn't want it and I like to give you what you want. Of course we are twins. There's no denying that, sweetie. Where we differ, you are like MHS and I'm like HBL. Weird. I think we have entered the twilight zone.

Delaney-Your plan sounds about like what I have in mind. Wish me luck.

Theresa-I think that's a great plan. I'll email you. i have your email address?

Tera-ROFL on both counts.

C&B-Ouch! Are we sure you should have a gun?

Psuedo-I am truly overwhelmed with that one. This may take awhile. WOW!

Mona-See how far you've come.

Frank and Mary-I know but I still want to try to get back to where I should be at this age. There's no denying even with the enhancements that she looks great.

Jane-You are welcome,dear. Your diet plan sounds like a good one. It's really hard for me to give up carbs but I'm going to try to really cut back.

Joe-Maybe you should try some spinach with your coffee.

SnowWhite-Amen to that, dear girl! That Beach CLub looks so healthy too. Damn them.

Swampy-I hear ya. It's getting harder and harder to keep up.

Wunderwoman-He's there but comments are closed. That was the thing that made me think he's gone again.

CheapChick-Yes, definitely join us for SA.

RW-Thanks. The only thing that changes about me is my mind and the size of my behind.

Fancy-You're very welcome. Enjoy. As for the reunion....if I looked like you, I wouldn't have to go thru these torture sessions. LOL Bottom line is reunion or no reunion. I have to take better care of myself. Like it or not.

But I'm going to take you up on that spa idea before I go. Great idea.

thyme said...

I don't know the secret to being skinny but I have a hunch that it is something uncomfortable, and sensible people stay away from it.

Congrats with the award! And thanks for the cup of roses :-)

Beth said...

I've been trying to figure out the secret to losing weight since I was born. My stomach just growled which is basically an indicator that my current diet is working.

As for the "uncute" items - I thought they were cute! And I've probably never made the bed right because I never knew that about the sheets. I blame my mother!

Congrats on the awards. And thanks for being so caring. You are an amazing person!

Tony Letts said...

I'm thrilled to receive any sort of award in any colour, especially from an experienced blogger like you!

Debra said...

I am trying to lose weight too. I suck at it! Been going to the gym. I hate going to the gym because I am lazy! I did drink over 2 quarts of water today. I feel much less bloated too!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I hope I'm not too late to receive your award. I'm so behind.

I thank you, SMB. Plan to answer it sometime this week. Life, you know.