Sunday, January 22, 2012


I want to marry you. 

OK, so maybe I don’t really want to marry her because as my dear friend, Janie, says, I’m “not turned that way” but with the good Lord’s blessing, I would gladly marry her chicken pot pie!
My dear friend, Paula, has come under serious attack this week.  An attack of the force which is usually reserved for Osama bin Laden, may he RIH, and the Kardashians.

I turned on my television Monday morning for my daily dose of the Today show while I readied myself for work.  Much to my surprise, there was my BFF, Paula, on the screen.  What?  you don’t believe we are BFFs?  Please refer to picture below.  ………See?  But I digress.  There was Paula announcing to the world what she has known for 3 years.  She has been diagnosed with type II diabetes.  Bless her heart ..and her glucose levels, please.  She also announced that she is the new spokeswoman for a diabetes related medicine, the name of which I can’t remember and am too lazy to look up.  Hey, I’m a blogger, not a journalist!  I’m not getting paid for this crap interesting viewpoint, you know.

Paula and me

As the week progressed, I couldn’t turn on the TV without hearing about Paula and her announcement.  ABC, NBC and CBS couldn’t stop talking about it.  Apparently the cast of Jersey Shore was uncharacteristically behaving themselves this week and poor Paula became the focus of the national media.

It seems that she has come under attack because she withheld information about her diagnosis, continued to preach the yummy goodness of butter, bacon and mayonaise for three years until she was offered a paid position as a spokeswoman for this drug company.  I say……SO WHAT!  Good.For.Her!

Is this not America?  The land of opportunity and fried green tomatoes?

What is the big deal?  I can’t believe there is a person on this planet that turns to any of the many Paula Deen shows, cookbooks or magazines for advice on good nutrition.  The woman has built an empire selling indulgence to the masses.  And we ate it up and asked for more!  This is a woman who not that many years ago was broke and going from office building to office building selling sandwiches.  Why would she risk the level of success she has earned because of her personal health problem?  It is really none of our business unless she wants to make it so.  For her own sake, I hope that has changed her eating habits and is following her physicians instructions but I also hope that she will continue to give us what we crave: Recipes for Ooey Gooey Butter cake and macaroni and cheese.

I FUZZY HEART WITH SPRINKLES ON TOP love Paula Deen but you only have to take one look at her to know that while she is beautiful, she is extremely over-weight and probably not in the best of health. Is it really any surprise that she has diabetes?   But Paula Deen is not to blame for our over-weight society and all of the health issues that go along with it.  Come on, people, stand up and take responsibility for your own choices.  Any American who says they don’t already know that mayonnaise, butter and bacon are all fat and should be avoided or at least consumed in moderation is a big, fat liar….or lives in a cave with no WIFI.
There are two whole networks  devoted exclusively to the preparation and consumption of food.   Any show touting the benefits of healthy cooking doesn’t last long.  We all know how to eat healthy.  We all know that we are supposed to  more veggies and fruit, less fat, less sugar, lean meats, blah, blah, blah.  We also all have to keep our houses clean but we don’t want to watch television shows about the daily grind.  We want indulgence!  Where is the crime in giving us what we want?
Take a look at the most successful celebrity chefs on the Food network: 

  • Paula – nuff said.

  • Ina Garten – overweight.

  • Emeril – overweight.

  • Rachael Ray – while not extremely overweight, she clearly struggles with the ups and downs on the scale like the rest of us.

  • Guy Fieri – overweight.

  • Tyler Florence – the goodies are catching up with him and he is getting a little thick around the middle.  God love his sexy soul.  XOXO, my love.

  • Bobby Flay – I can see a paunch.

  • Giada DeLaurentis – Well…..there are exceptions to every rule.  Clearly something is suspect here.  Whether this woman has mastered the art of moderation or is simply blessed with supergenes, we need to bottle it and sell it to the masses.  Let me be the first in line. So in closing, I say:

    Dear National Media:

    Go pick on someone else.  Leave my friend, Paula, alone.  I’m pretty sure I heard there is a presidential primary going on somewhere.
    Smart Mouth Broad

    And to the rest of you who may or may not agree with my point of view, allow me to leave you with this little ditty that I can’t seem to get out of my head.

    Hugs and kisses,

    Venom said...

    I have MISSED SMB - so glad you're back writing 'and I'll be here reading right along.

    Ditto media - lay off the Paula. And she is a lovely looking woman, a little plump or not.
    Voluptuous is IN.
    Or so I keep telling myself...

    Brian Miller said...

    isnt her son doing a cooking show making her recipes a little more healthy? someone told me that the other day....yeah lay off paula

    Anonymous said...

    So good to see you back. I agree with you btw - although you highlight the many many reasons I won't watch the Today show or any of that stuff.


    ImNotTurnedThatWay said...

    Poor Pauls. I was watching that Sunday morning program that is hosted by Charles Osgood (I forget the name) and at the end there was a commentary by someone else whose name I've forgotten (do you see a pattern here?) about the bad rap the mainstream media gets when they are just doing their job. Ha! I guess it's "their job" to bring shame and opening ruin people's lives and/or livelihood because "that's their job". Shame on them!! If Paula is to blame for anyone's bad health then Pioneer Woman better find a hole and hide because she will be next. MUAH!

    Pseudo said...

    So good to see you on the blog! Did you know that I am Paula's other BFF. But I do not have that fab photo like you do.

    Glad I haven't heard the news. Our media can suck. I love Paula and agree with what you said SMB.

    tera said...

    And you forgot my 2nd favorite (Paula is my BFF, too! How neat she has such cool BFF's!) Mario Batali - bless his chubby orange-Croc'd soul...
    Yah, I have no problem with Paula's recipes. And who knows - her diabetes could be more of a genetic problem. Prob'ly not, but you never know! Clearly- the haters suck.

    Now where'd I put my butter...?

    Carly said...

    So funny! I also watch The Today Show regularly and was perplexed as to why Paula's announcement was so newsworthy. I also couldn't figure out why it was a surprise, given the obvious correlation between weight and diabetes.

    Mike said...

    She's a cook not a health food guru. It would be like people criticizing the Marlboro Man for having emphysema! lol

    Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

    Mona-overweight and can't even cook all that great!
    WHY do we believe that anyone that is famous OWES us their private lives?
    I don't live in a cave, exactly, but I don't have Wi you think I need it? hmmmm...
    Back to food...Carotid (sp?) artery is 50 to 69% blocked. I'm in trouble! Already saw the surgeon and now waiting for them to call me for an appt. for God knows what?? And...I the fool I am..EAT BUTTER. I'm dong better though. Going cold's not working!
    I don't care. I love Paula and it's not her fault I'm an idiot!

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