WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER…..or fish

“The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry”

And so it goes in SMBland.

I recently won not one but two giveaways. I’m not sure what’s going on with my luck lately but with all this winning going on, I’m thinking that it might be time to buy one of them there lotto tickets. Allow me to gloat about display my prizes.

First Oz Girl over at City Girl Moves to Oz did a giveaway and I won because I was obnoxious and commented like a lunatic. Oz Girl aka GirlTornado on twitter is a dear friend of mine and I was thrilled to be gifted with some of her artistry. You see, OG has created her own custom postage stamps and cards. I told her that I didn’t want to use them and would save them. She has encouraged me to use them. We’ll see. I’m not sure that I can part with them. Take a look:

The card in the middle with that adorable pooch was her personal note to me. The book, One Year Off was also included in my prize. This could prove to be dangerous. The story is about a man and his family who sell all their belongings and take off to travel the world for a year. That sounds very exciting and quite tempting. If you never hear from me again, I’ve decided to jump on that idea.

Thanks, Oz Girl! I love my great prizes!

It wasn’t long after being notified that I won Oz Girl’s giveaway that I was told I won over at Pseudonymous High School Teacher’s place too. Pseudo has been a blogging buddy of mine for quite some time now. Her giveaway was a little different in that she didn’t have the prize ahead of time. She waited until she knew who won and then went shopping and posted about it. Pretty cool, huh? She was very careful not to disclose the end results so it would be a surprise. Let me show you what I got:

Look at these beautiful sarongs aka pareo in Hawaii. My photography is lacking and so you can’t see the colors but those flowers are color coordinating hair clips. I believe the flower is plumeria, a favorite of mine. Pseudo is one smart woman. She knows that I have two daughters and so she sent a pareo for each of us. If you have daughters, you know that anything as cool as these lovelies will disappear quickly into the closet of said daughters never to be seen again. Now everybody wins. Yay!

My great plan was that we would model these sarongs for you and I would post them. They are so versatile and forgiving, I wanted you to be able to see just how great they look when worn. This is where that quote at the top of the page comes in. D1 is getting ready to leave for San Diego and D2 is helping her pack. Another great idea bites the dust. *sigh* Well another time, maybe. I’m sure I’ll be taking one of these beauties on my next beachwalk.

Inside the box, I also found these. My brother, Smitty lives on Maui and I’ve had the wasabi peanuts and the dry mango before. Yummohhhh! Now the terayaki marlin is a new one for me. I’m always game for trying new tastes. I wonder how these will fit into the DAMN ZONE? Well, the food nazi will be away for a week or so……………..what she doesn’t know………………….Shhhhhhhhh.

And LOOK at this! I can’t wait to get my creative side shakin’ in the kitchen when I try out these new flavors! Too fun!

The card is Pseudo’s personal note to me. Pseudo doesn’t know this but I used to collect cows. All things bovine. I stopped because I didn’t like the idea of every time one of my friends saw a cow, they thought of me……Not very flattering, right? (Now I collect angels………you know because I’m so pure of heart and all) But I still have a strange affection for these creatures. Another prize was this white ginger plant. I’m a little nervous about this one. I’m going to plant it soon but I hope it thrives on neglect because that’s the only kind of plant I can grow.

Last but not least, I also received a cd compilation of Pseudo’s summer mix. Doing housework this weekend was made much more pleasant while listening to this great music.

I should also mention that the girls bought the hat in the above picture for me this weekend after I received the sarongs. They thought a new straw hat was just the thing to compliment my new beach look. Now if I could just get the weather to cooperate, I could sport these new duds at the beach.

Thanks, Pseudo, for my awesome prizes!

I know that these items were prizes that I won but they are so special to me because they came from two great friends I’ve met in the blogosphere. You guys are the best!

Please don’t hate me because I’ve got all this cool stuff. Come on over and I’ll share.

WINNAH!

I’m.a.WINNAH! Again! You may or may not remember when I won Midlife Slices secret giveaway when I may or may not have ruthlessly badgered everyone in my office for help so that I could WIN for the sake of winning. It was only later that MLS revealed that the contest had a prize!

Where was I?

Tera, at Olive Hue Designs, did a giveaway a few weeks ago. I was quite surprised when I got Tera’s email informing me that I won. I had to go back and see if I said what I thought I said. You see, Tera asked a real question and I left a Smart Mouth comment. But Tera, being more generous of spirit than the average bear gave prizes to everyone that left a comment. (Which proves that my mother was wrong when she said, “That smart mouth isn’t going to get you anywhere!”)

My prize arrived this weekend and I was like a kid at Christmas ripping into that package. (But gently, Tera, so as not to destroy anything)

I am the proud owner of a beautiful piece of art from a very talented artist! I received the SpaceGirl on the left. I told Tera that I thought I liked the blonde one the best. Truth be known, those other girls are half nekkid and I didn’t want MHS staring at them instead of me. *wink*

Thanks, Tera! You’re the best!

I’M THE WINNER! ………and the loser

Ladies and Gentlemen, things are looking up. I, Smart Mouth Broad, have won a prize. I never win anything. But those days are over………..because today…………I'm a WINNER! Last week, Midlife Slices posted a quiz on her blog. What she didn't tell us was that whoever answered the question correctly would win a prize. You just never know what leaving a comment will bring you. Well, it took me practically all day but I kept guessing and finally got the answer. We won't mention that not a lot of work got done at my desk that day.

My Harley Stud called me at work today to let me know a package had arrived at the house for me. I told him to open it. He recognized the Texas address and thought he heard something ticking inside said he thought I should open it myself since it was my prize.

Only the most beautiful cosmetic case ever!

And look! It's really three prizes in one!

Thanks, Midlife Slices! My cosmetics have never been housed so beautifully!

Things are certainly turning around. If I'm winning prizes, can economic recovery be far behind?

I also wanted to give you an update on my ongoing quest for fitness and the search for the lost physique of my youth. I've been a little embarrassed to mention this before now but remember that yoga class last week? Well………apparently there were muscles stretched and awakened that had been hibernating since the Stone Age. I've been suffering from muscle spasms in my back and neck since the following day. I've been on muscle relaxers and ibuprofen all weekend. Today, still feeling stiff and kinky (not like that, you pervs) I decided instead of self-medicating, I was going to shake it off at the gym by taking a Latin Impact class. I know……………………looking back it doesn't seem like such a good idea to me either.

First, if I haven't made this clear in the past, I live in South Florida where we have a huge Latin population. The instructor for this class is Hispanic. Every woman in the class seems to be of Latin descent. And in walks the WASP. But it wasn't my looks that made me stand out in the crowd.

The class began and it quickly became very clear that I have been gifted with amazing Latin dance moves no Latin hips. I seem to want to involve my torso too much when it's the hips that are supposed to be doing all the work. I can't dance free-style but if you give me choreography, I can learn anything. The problem is that learning the moves is one thing. Making them look good is quite another. The entire class is in Spanish. That certainly doesn't help. After 28 years of living in South Florida, I am fluent in a few select phrases. I can say "I'm sorry, Ma'am but *Spanish speaking co-worker* is not in the office now. Please call back later. Or "in 5 minutes." Or "tomorrow. " And I do it so well that Spanish speaking people will then launch into their entire story in Spanish at which point, I have to inform them in English that I'm done. That's all I know.

The instructor smiled at me a lot. Not the kind of smile that says, Bravo, SMB, you are doing awesome! Who knew you could move like that! No, that's not the look. This look is more……….pobre y pobre gringa. That's the best I can do with free translations dot com. Meaning loosely: You poor, poor, American woman. To my Spanish speaking readers, please accept my apologies for butchering your beautiful language.

Don't think that will stop me though. I had a great time. I'll go back even if the teacher does think I'm a loser. If I haven't proven it already, I'm not easily embarrassed. Have I mentioned this class is in a room that faces the gym with a glass wall? That's right, the entire gym can and does watch the class in progress. Who cares! I'm having fun.

All I really need is Max from Dancing with the Stars to work with me a little. I'm sure he could teach me to move my hips.

And if I'm not in traction tomorrow, I'm going back to yoga on Wednesday.