HAPPY EASTER

Hugs,

SMB

FASHION POLICE BUST LOW RIDERS

I came across an article in the local paper yesterday. A much publicized case went before the judge. A city in Palm Beach County has passed a law banning the wearing of pants so low that your skin or undergarments show. Now the law is being challenged.

The case has been all over the television news but the article in the paper caught my eye because I recognized the judge. She’s a friend of my friend, The Trophy Wife. We used to go to the same gym before I changed teams in favor of more latin booty classes. She’s in really great shape too but I digress.

I immediately felt badly for her. Not because she has such a difficult task in front of her but because she has to tolerate this drivel and pretend to take it seriously.

I am no fan of this particular fashion trend. Though I am slightly amused every time I see a young man running awkwardly across the street with one hand on his breeches to keep them from falling to the pavement. But I don’t like it. I think it looks stupid. It can’t possibly be comfortable. I can’t for the life of me see the appeal. However, I also think that spending tax dollars to pass a law against such nonsense is just as absurd.

I’ve linked the article so I’m not going to rewrite it here. If you haven’t already, go there now. I’ll wait.

*patiently drumming long, beautifully manicured nails on the table* (That’s the beauty of a blog, you know. You can lie about how awful your hands look and no one is the wiser) Uh…er… well…until now. Damn.

I will assume you are all now well-informed.

Here’s the thing: Don’t you think that if we didn’t make such a fuss, this ugly trend would just die out like the mullet? Imagine the man hours that went into passing this law. (Notice I said, man hours? I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a woman there THAT day. Sorry, fellers, we women folk are just more practical than that.) Seriously, do we really not have better things to do? We’ve got child abusers, drug dealers, drunken boaters running over manatees and the homeless on every other corner. Heck, just last week, I heard the guy down the street tore the tags off his mattress. Come on, people! We’ve got a bigger job to do. Let’s keep our eye on the ball.

Each time I hear about this case in the media, I’m reminded of when Daughter #1 was in middle school. She was working as an aide in the office. It was a dress code violation to wear backless shoes. She was reaching up into a filing cabinet and her backless clogs were exposed just as one of the deans walked by. He reprimanded her. She came back with, “Doesn’t someone have drugs in their locker?” As you can see, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Smart mouths run in the family it would seem. (Now she is a middle school teacher and gets to deal with kids just like her on a daily basis. Life is funny like that.)

Can we agree that having fashion police running around arresting young people for bad taste is a waste of time and money? Do you have a local law that is just as ridiculous? Or maybe you disagree and think this is a good law. I can respect that even if you’re wrong and agree to disagree. Let’s hear it. Come on…..

EDUCATING SMB

A little over a week ago, I announced that I had been selected to sit on the jury of a criminal trial. Due to an emergency illness with Daughter #2, I was excused after one day of testimony.
We, the jury, were told by the judge that the case would take two days. I was in attendance for the opening statements by both the prosecution and the defense. The United States presented their case and rested at the end of the day. I was not there to hear the defense. I have been watching the local paper to see if the case is mentioned and thus far…..nothing.
I couldn’t possibly have formed an opinion about whether the defendant was guilty or innocent having only heard half the story. I am left with many questions but they are not about guilt or innocence.
It was a drug case. The defendant was accused of selling crack cocaine and marijuana within 1000 feet of an elementary school and attempted assault on a police officer. Evidence was produced. I saw crack cocaine for the first time in my life. I also saw marijuana……..again. Hey, I was a teenager during the 70s. You would have had to have lived under a rock to have never seen marijuana during those times.
I learned that drugs are commonly concealed in those little plastic tubes that super glue comes in. Now every time I see super glue, I’m going to wonder…….Drug dealer? Drug user? Broken dishes?
The marijuana evidence was presented in little ziploc bags measuring about a square inch. Once filled with this grassy substance, the bag was about the size of the end of my thumb. I had to wonder if this amount would even be enough to fill one joint doobie marijuana cigarette. I’ve always seen heard that the stuff comes in sandwich baggies typically filled one third to one half full. And I thought they were putting less in my cereal box.
This got me thinking. Where do you get little, tiny ziploc bags like that? I’ve never seen bags that size in my local grocery. Who supplies the suppliers? This drug business is a whole industry in itself. Who knew? Certainly not me.
The crack cocaine was presented to us in even tinier ziploc bags. Where do you get these things? And by the way, the bags are yellow. I got the impression from testimony that nine out of ten leading drug dealers prefer yellow bags over any other color.
I was also surprised to find that these drug deals can go down (I kinda sound like DeNiro there, huh?) for less than $10. My chocolate addiction is more expensive than that. I was always under the impression that illegal drug use was completely unaffordable. Obviously I was misled by the propaganda distributed by my parents and teachers. I’m not advocating that we all take up new drug addictions. I’m just simply stating that I was misinformed.
So, assuming that you are not an illegal drug dealer or a drug user, I have to ask: Have you ever seen these ziploc bags for sale? Have you seen them used for something other than crack or marijuana? What are the other uses for this type of baggie? Do the suppliers know the intended use of their product? These are questions I would like to have answered.
Can you help a smart mouth broad? This inquiring mind needs to know.

I’M A RAMBLER

My mind is all over the place today. I’ve got randomness filling all the empty space in my brain and believe me, there’s a LOT of empty space in my brain.

I’m a little sad today. It’s the opening day of major league baseball and I didn’t make it to even one Spring training game. And I live sooooo close to the stadium where two teams train. I love going to baseball games. I’m not a big fan of baseball on television but being at the game is so cool. There is so much to entertain you at the game. My mother, Lucy, was the biggest Cubs fan ever. She was a card carrying member of the Cubs fan club since the 1930s. True story.

And let us not forget…….hotdogs. I only eat hotdogs outdoors. I never make them at home but I love hotdogs at ballgames, picnics, on the street, and at my beloved A&W or BK root beer stands in Indiana.

I went to the gym today. It was a must after completely blowing my diet all weekend long. How am I ever going to accomplish my goal by December if I lose every last ounce of my willpower in the first blasted week! Of course, I’m blaming the Biker Nazi.

I was able to get out of the office in time for the Latin Impact class but after not being able to walk around upright without the help of muscle relaxers yesterday, I thought it best to skip the dance class. I hit the elliptical instead. A woman who isn’t as desperate to make her goal by December didn’t have pub style fish and chips over the weekend is smarter might have avoided the risk of injury all together and took a knee.

I saw a woman in full make-up and costume jewelry while I was working out. I live in Palm Beach county and women in full make-up at the gym is really no surprise but costume jewelry? Seriously? If she gets a little crazy on the treadmill, she might beat herself to death.

I was antsy on the elliptical and having a hard time finding music on my ipod to suit me. My taste in music is eclectic for sure. I finally hit my stride when I found this:

I’m pretty sure that no one would have looked at me exercising and guessed that this was what was playing on my ipod. And don’t think for a minute that I didn’t want to dance around the gym saying Woo, woo! Because I really, really did.

And last but certainly not least, I’ve been honored with some very prestigious awards. First, Linda, of Crone and Bear It awarded me the Friendship award:

Thanks, Linda! The friends I have met since starting this blog have been a warm and wonderful surprise. I came here looking to express myself and found the added benefit of charming, witty, genuine friends. This award comes with only one instruction and that is to pass it on to three other bloggy friends. I’m choosing some new friends that are just as great as the old ones.

Debra of Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History-Debra is a fellow biker chick only she has her own bike!

Michel of Facts are Strictly Optional-Michel blogs about her life in Sudan where she lives while working at the US Embassy there.

Jane at Gaston Studio-Jane tells some great tales about her life today and cherished memories of yesterday.

Second, Oz Girl of City Girl Moves to Oz bestowed upon me the Lemonade out of Lemons award. Thanks Oz Girl!

I’m a true believer that when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade. I hope you will forgive me, OG but I received this award once before recently so I’m going to be lame once again and skip the instructions about passing it on. Instead, I’m going to reach out into the blogosphere and ask, “Have you made lemonade out of lemons lately? If so, grab this award and run with it. You deserve it!

Thanks to Linda and OZ Girl for thinking of me for these very prestigious awards. You’re the best!

I hope you enjoyed the randomness that is me :)

Go Cubbies!

SMB

LIVE TO RIDE AND RIDE TO EAT

When the Biker Nazi is in town, there is no question about what we’ll be doing. Ride, ride, ride. We spent all day Saturday on the bikes and covered a good many miles and explored city and country near our home. We started the day with a ride out to Indiantown and enjoyed brunch at the Seminole Inn. The inn opened in 1926. Entering the inn gives you the feeling that you are stepping into a gentler time in history. I would have loved to have spent more time snooping around with my camera but we were just there to eat and run. One day I’ll insist on going back. That shouldn’t be too difficult as it is not far from our home and My Harley Stud enjoyed it too.

The Biker Nazi never met a stranger and managed to make new friends who can take him hunting on his next visit to sunny Florida.

I like this idea: Sit long, talk much. Right up my ally.

Cracker, the parrot, welcomes you as soon as you step over the threshold.

The Biker Nazi loved the new paint job on his bike.

I just love it when the trees form a canopy under which for us to pass.

You don’t have to drive too far out of town to see orange groves. I’m not sure why these haven’t been picked yet. It’s kind of late in the season, I think.

By the time we made it to the Keylime Grill, our bellies were grumbling for more than beer. My diet was blown out of the water with Pub style fish and chips. Yum to malt vinegar. Did someone take my willpower? How am I going to make my goal with temptations like this?

The yum factor was short-lived though. I haven’t eaten fried food like that in a long time and my tummy rebelled. Tums were my dessert of choice last night. Grrrr. I should have had a salad.

There was a young man playing to the crowd and he was really good. I asked if he had a CD but alas, he has none. He did give me his website info and you can listen to him here. :) He covered many of my favorites and played some of his original work too. He is quite an accomplished musician, in my humble opinion, of course.

From the Keylime Grill, we headed back North along the beach. We drove along Palm Beach and rubbed elbows with the rich and famous. There were no celebrity sightings but I’m really bad about that anyway. One could be standing right next to me and I wouldn’t notice.

The above photo was taken driving along Ocean Blvd. You can see the Atlantic on the right and the homes of Donald Trump, Rod Stewart, the old Kennedy compound are all on the left. MHS wasn’t driving slowly enough to get any pictures of the homes without blurring. Another time, maybe. He’s a great tour guide and knows who lives where because of his business contacts. The roofs to the right along the beach are the beach houses of the residents across the street. Most have tunnels that go underneath the road to get to the beach.

These are the snooty sea-gulls. These snobs probably don’t fly past the edge of the island. Palm Beachers like to stick to themselves.

As you drive along Ocean Blvd, you will see main entrances and service entrances. Funny, it’s all the same at my house.

This was taken during a butt break. This particular section of the beach is where Worth Avenue intersects with Ocean Blvd. Worth Avenue is Palm Beach’s equivalent of Rodeo Drive. (The best place for celeb sightings-but be careful. The PB cops have no problem throwing anyone who doesn’t “belong” off the island.)

Who is this riff-raff? Palm Beach bikers, of course.

You can see the tower to the famous Breakers hotel looming over the home at the end of the street. I wanted to get a picture of the long, beautiful entrance to the Breakers but new renovations include a guardhouse that obstructs the view. Apparently there were too many smart mouth broads snooping around with their cameras and someone complained.

The home at the end of the street once belonged to Clark Gable. I believe it is owned by the heir to the Estee Lauder fortune now.

This is a moving picture of the Biltmore hotel on Palm Beach.

The Palm Beach Yacht Club. Never been there. Smart Mouth Broads need not apply. Go figure.

Not a great photograph, but I kept the best of the blurry ones I captured. I learned to scuba dive under this very bridge. Exciting, huh?

Last but not least: My Harley Stud knows how much I love the inlet. Our ride concluded here. (Well actually, we still had to drive home)

Jupiter Inlet is my favorite place in the world. It soothes my weary soul.

Here you will see my reward for the hunt. I love to walk along the jetty to look for crabs on the rocks. Found one. He was shy and wouldn’t smile for the camera though.

The sun was setting and we had to skidaddle. The park closes at sunset. You can see the lighthouse on the right. I love it here. *sigh*