Tuesday, January 27, 2009

YOU KNOW WHAT ASSUMING IS………


I received an email a few days ago from a dear friend. This particular friend is not one who usually forwards email. When he does, it's always special. The email consisted of a series of photographs with inspirational text set within the photograph. I enjoyed them so much that I've decided to share one a day with you until I've shared them all.

I thought it was only fitting that if I'm going to show you the images, that I introduce you to my friend who I will call Da Man. Because he is. Da Man is a computer genius. I know this because I used to work for him and have witnessed the miracles that he's performed. We parted ways professionally years ago but we are forever friends. I have a favorite little story about Da Man and it goes something like this:

Da Man has a computer consulting business. His company offers I.T. consulting, hardware and software support and installation. Da Man is very good looking. He looks like your typical all-American guy. Only better. He has light (blue, I think) eyes and dark hair. His last name is a common Jewish name although he is not Jewish. We live in South Florida. There is a very large Jewish population here. And there is a large Cuban community also.

Years ago, he was doing some work in an office in Miami. He had to crawl under the desk to get to the computer. The women in the office gathered around the desk to make themselves available in case he needed a date they might be of assistance to him. They began to discuss in detail what a great ass he had. The entire conversation was in Spanish. They chatted on and on without hesitation secure in the belief that this All-American guy had no clue what they were saying.

Da Man is a Cuban-American. He doesn't look Hispanic. He is fluent in Spanish and I'm not sure but would take a guess that it was his first language. You cannot detect even a hint of a Spanish accent when he speaks English.

Da Man is a gentleman though. He completed his work and never let on that he understood their entire conversation. I wasn't there but I'm pretty sure he had a smile on his face while he worked.

I think it was a few days later that Da Man's office manager was speaking on the phone with one of the women in the office where they had sooooo admired his backside. In the course of the conversation it was revealed that Da Man speaks Spanish. The phone was dropped. Loud screaming and shrieking was heard in the background.

More words of wisdom from the Smart Mouth Broad: Never assume anything.


25 comments:

Tricia said...

Oh how I love this story. I'm not sure I would have been able to not at least say thanks in Spanish just to embarrass the on lookers.

We've had multiple situations where people assumed we didn't know what was being said, but my husband is also fluent in Spanish.

smiles4u said...

That is too funny! You are right never assume!

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

hehehe. great story.

Kathy said...

Oh my - that is hysterical. Love the picture, too :)

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Chuckling here..... great story! Great photo.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Midlife Mama said...

ROFL.... that is a great story. You never know what language someone speaks. However, I feel that it is terribly rude to assume that someone doesn't speak a particular language and then proceed to speak it in front of others for the express purpose of disgusing what they're saying. I speak a little Spanish; not enough to be fluent but I understand enough to be able to catch the drift of what someone is saying for the most part. I have been in line in the grocery store and listened to people speaking Spanish, and they're often saying something disparaging about someone in line. I think that is so rude!!

The story you told was amusing, because they were saying complimentary things, but think about how he would have felt if they were saying something disparaging.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

What a smile you put on my face this morning ; -))

Jan said...

LMAO - I saw the ending coming, but I laughed, quite hard, anyway.

lisa said...

More good and useful wisdom.

Adios

thyme said...

Lol, I can almost hear them screaming :-D

At the airport in New York I was in a bar where there was another Dutch woman and some americans. One of the Americans - a red-haired man from Michigan - started talking to me and then she joined in and we continued in Dutch. So he turned to the woman behind the bar and said something to her in broken Spanish, then he turned to us and grinned "I can't understand what you are saying, now you can't understand what we are saying either...". And I will never again assume that Americans are mono-ligual.

Debbie said...

Fabulous story.
And my mama taught me at an early age what assuming meant.

thistle said...

great story...but sometimes one can get caught in those situations while speaking in English...this i know *sigh*

midlife slices said...

I love this story and I've wished many many times I could learn one phrase in Vietnamese when I'm getting my toes done because I'm certain they are talking about me and I'd love to make them think I know what they are saying. I"m going to work on that.
LOL

only a movie said...

What a great story!!

Reader Wil said...

A hilarious story! Thank you for making me laugh!

Joan said...

I assume he must have had a pretty nice butt.

LiLu said...

HA that's great! I speak just enough that I've caught the loiterers outside of my corner store making comments when I walk by. But I think they prefer that I understand...

nothingfancy1 said...

LOL! Great story! I can't wait to read more about Da Man. You know I'm a sucker for Blue Eyes!

Swampy on the Road said...

Great story.

In regards to the message on the photo...I won't go into detail how or why I know Dr. Phil, but his remark to me one day was, "Kathy, you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did."

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Tricia-Living in S. Florida, I've always wanted to learn Spanish secretly so I could eavesdrop. You can't live here and not pick up a little. I can speak Spanish much better than I can understand it because everyone talks so fast.

Smiles-Because you know what that makes of you and me.

Lynn-So good to see you out and about.

Kathy-Yes, I love all the images from the email.

Di-I smile every time I think of it.

Mama-I completely agree. When the person uses another language just to keep the information from others, it's as rude as whispering. But I've grown quite used to it. When I first moved to Florida, I worked with women (the only job I've ever had that I couldn't stand) who would speak English until I walked up and then switch to Spanish. Grrrrrrr.

Pseudo-Just consider it returning the favor.

Jan-and I tried so hard not to make it obvious. LOL

Lisa-Yep, that's what I'm all about. A wealth of Smart Ass wisdom. *wink*

thyme-One of my favorite movies is Tortilla Soup. There is a line in the movie that asks, "What is the word to describe when someone only speaks one language?" The answer is "American". Unfortunately it's true. I feel strongly that as Americans we should all learn as many languages as possible. But I feel just as strongly that all immigrants should learn to speak English. I would never dream of going to another country to live and not learn the language. OK, I'm stepping down off my soap box now.

Debbie-You and me, both.

Thistle-That sounds like a blog post if I ever heard one. Come on, girl, SPILL!

MLS-They are just commenting on how lovely your feet are.

Movie & RW - Thank you very much.

Joan-uhhh...I've never really noticed because I'm married and so pure of heart and all. *wink*

Lilu-That's me. I can speak just enough to be dangerous.

Fancy-I got an email correction today from Da Man. His eyes are green. I guess maybe I should print a retraction. .....I think I just did.

Swampy - I love it! I'll have to remember that one for sure. (as if I can remember anything these days....sigh)

blueviolet said...

That is absolutely so true. My daughter understands Spanish very well and she is always chuckling at the things she overhears.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

We have a Cuban American in our office and I'm always saying that we need to have a day where we only speak Spanish. But then I spend the whole day asking "how do you say?" She learned English by watching tv but I can't bring myself to sit and watch Spanish tv to learn the language.

binks said...

That is too funny. South Floridans should NEVER assume that someone doesn't speak another language because they don't look the part.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Binks-Yes, if you live here, you really should know better.

JeanMac said...

Too funny.