Friday, March 27, 2009

MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD – HA! Keep dreamin’


If you follow me on twitter, you may already be aware that Daughter #2 came down with what we believed to be a bad stomach virus last Friday. My Harley Stud and I felt so bad for her to be 300 miles from home in a cracker box of a dorm (excuse me, "residence hall") feeling like crap and no one to take care of her. Well, no parental unit, that is. Her friends were all out of town for the weekend. Noleboy did a fabulous job of attending to her every need but somehow it's just not the same as having your mommy and daddy there to baby you. We did the best we could over the phone. By Saturday morning, she was feeling a bit better but went to a walk-in clinic to have things checked out and to get an excuse note since she missed a test on Friday. She was informed that she had a stomach virus, instructed to drink lots of fluids and it would just have to run its course.

Sunday evening, I was notified that I was called to report to jury duty the following day. I received a call a little later from D2 saying that she had thrown up again (sorry for the TMI) and her back was hurting. Being the sympathetic, loving mother that I am, I reprimanded her for taking medication on an empty stomach and said she should know better. I more or less blew off the back pain thinking that she was probably a bit stiff and sore from lying in bed for 3 days.

In my defense, before someone calls DCF, D2 is a bit of a whiner. Always has been. She makes sure that her dad and I know about every little ache and pain she experiences. It's a little like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. I tend to take her complaints with a grain of salt. I generally wait until she has complained a few times before I feel that maybe some intervention is indicated. You see many times, she will complain about an ailment and then call a couple hours later saying she is going out with friends.

Feeling that her last vomit episode (forgive me, TMI, again) was due to taking meds on an empty stomach and her back pain was from lying in bed for days, I was a little surprised to hear that she was returning to the walk-in clinic on Monday morning.

I reported for jury duty at the US District courthouse 8am on Monday morning. I was eventually selected to sit on the jury of a criminal case. My experience as jury #12 will be another post. Stay tuned for that because I will need your input on the many questions I have rattling around in my brain.

Just as I was turning off my phone to go into the courtroom, I received a message from D2 that she was returning to the clinic. I explained that my phone would be off, her dad would be available and to please leave me a message after she was seen by the doctor.

We went through the very long and tedious voir dire process and the judge asked one last question before the attorneys were brought to the bar to make their selections or actually make their strikes. The judge asked if there was anything going on in any of our lives that hadn't been covered in voir dire. He asked if there was anything that might distract us from giving the case our full attention. I know that I had just been informed that my daughter was returning to the clinic but at this point, I still thought she was suffering from a stomach virus and would be fine with some rest and lots of fluids.

I was selected to sit on the jury and the trial began immediately. Who knew they would want a Smart Mouth Broad? We broke for lunch about 90 minutes later. I immediately checked for messages and was shocked to read a text from D2 saying they were sending her for a CT. I called her immediately and she said she didn't' know why they were sending her for a CT but they did some bloodwork and then sent her to the hospital for the CT.

I work in the medical field and I tried really hard to keep telling myself that the test was just a pre-caution and I shouldn't worry until I knew I had something about which to worry. Easier said than done. I had a hard time finishing my lunch but knew I had to eat something because my stomach had been growling so loudly in court I was afraid that it was going to disrupt the trial. I ate as much as I could and tossed the rest. I was anxious to make some phone calls. Time moved too quickly and it was soon time to return to the jury room.

Our jury consisted of 13 people. 12 jurors and one alternate. After listening all morning in court, one gentleman sent a message to the judge that he wasn't sure his understanding of the English language was sufficient to comprehend the facts of the case. After a private interview with the judge, he was excused. Without an alternate, I felt it was only right to inform the clerk that while I still didn't have any details, my daughter was 300 miles away undergoing a CAT scan at that very moment and I didn't know what I would need to do once we had the results. She smiled, nodded and tried to hide the "what now?" look on her face. We were led back into the court room.

The message during the break was D2 had thrown up the prep drink that she was given. She was having a hard time getting the second bottle down since the first was so enjoyable. And back into the court room we went.

I did my best to focus on the case being presented but I was getting very nervous trying to determine why a CT was ordered. What was going on? We were excused for the day a little before 5pm and instructed to return at 8:30 the following morning.

My first call was to Daughter #2 who gave me the newest development. She had an allergic reaction to the IV contrast. The poor girl. All day, I had been pleading with her to call NoleBoy or someone to sit with her so she wouldn't be alone. I couldn't imagine having to go through all this by herself. She was quite a trooper. She did eventually call NoleBoy to join her. (I should explain to newer readers that NoleBoy is her boyfriend) I was relieved that at least she wasn't alone now. While waiting for her CT, the clinic called and asked her to return after the CT because they needed to do more bloodwork. Now I was really getting worried.

I don't really know how I got from the courthouse to home. My entire drive was spent on the phone with my employer, a physician (What? You don't call a breast surgeon for this type of thing?), MHS, D2, and a friend, begging for prayers. My doctor spoke with her doctor and we were informed that she has a kidney infection. Antibiotics and painkillers were prescribed. She was released to go back to her dorm. I couldn't bear the idea of her recuperating alone in her dorm. Her bed is the top bunk with a bookcase for a ladder!

Arrangements were made for NoleBoy to meet my father half way and Daddy would take her back to his house. I was told she would most likely feel much better by morning so MHS and I decided to wait until morning to decide if we would go up or if we would leave her in Daddy and Daisy's loving care and I would complete my civic duty as the case was supposed to finish the next day.

I received a message at 4:30 the next morning that she was in more pain than she had ever experienced in her life. I could hear her crying in the background. My heart broke right that minute into a million pieces. Why didn't I leave the night before? I realize that my presence would not have prevented or eased the pain but at least I would have been there. I quickly got our things together and we set off for Daddy's house.

I called the clerk of the court and informed her that I would not be able to be there for the rest of the trial. I was later notified that both sides agreed to continue with the eleven remaining jurors. It seems that they didn't need a Smart Mouth Broad after all.

My boss called me a few hours later and I explained what had happened and that we were on our way to be with D2. She advised that we see an urologist as soon as possible since the pain was getting worse. About an hour later, I received a call from the doctor at the walk-in clinic. She had received the CT report. She explained that the dictated report indicated something that the verbal report she had received the previous day did not. Something much more serious couldn't be ruled out and she should see an urologist asap. I told the doctor that we were on our way to see D2 and were in the process of making an appointment with the urologist for later that day. Emails were flying, faxes were faxed, phone calls were made and prayers went up during the entire four hour drive to Daddy's house.

By the time we got there D2 was feeling better thanks to narcotic painkillers and another dose of antibiotics working their way into her system. We saw the urologist later that day. He confirmed that the problem is most likely a bad kidney infection but would not completely rule out a more serious condition. He prescribed additional days of antibiotics and a repeat CT in two weeks to be sure that infection is the only problem.

We left her with Daddy and Daisy this morning. She will continue to recuperate there and most likely return to school tomorrow or Saturday. She isn't 100% yet but she's getting there. Do you think it would be a bad thing if I made her move home, kept her in a box and only let her out to go to community college down the road? If you have grown children, how are you coping with letting go?

I would like to thank my twitter friends and other blogging buds for their prayers and well wishes for D2. They were much appreciated.


Hugs,

SMB



28 comments:

only a movie said...

Oh my goodness, SMB. What a nightmare. I hope she continues to improve.

I will keep her in my thoughts. What a week!

Beth said...

I am so sorry. We had a teacher who had a this happen to her (bad kidney infection) but was not diagnosed for 2 weeks. I never knew a kidney infection could cause you to barf so much.

You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jan said...

Oi, vey woman! Poor D2, but since Beloved's oldest daughter has, ahem, hypochondriac tendencies herself I know exactly how you felt (I swear, that girl will go to the doctor if burps more - or less - than she feels is proper after drinking a soft drink).

As for how to let your kids go...well, you just do. And try to keep in mind that you can always jump on a plane to Texas and physically assault any person (including a doctor) that isn't taking care of your baby properly.

nothingfancy1 said...

Oh my...how awful. I feel so badly for D2...I sure hope she has this all behind her very soon.

I do like your "keep them in a box" idea. Although I do want my sons to go to college...I have advised The Boy that I will be going with him. :)

And Mother of the Year? Yep...I've got a wolf crier at home too. A few years ago, The Boy fell during a soccer game. He cried and cried. My exact words were "Suck it up and stop crying". Yep...you guessed it...his wrist was broken.

I wont even start on H's weight and how bad of a mother I look in that regard...

((Hugs)) for you and D2.

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Glad they got to the bottom of the pain and that all should be thumbs up from here. Hard to concentrate in a courtroom with your own real life drama happening at the same time.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

smiles4u said...

I am glad that your daughter is feeling better and will pray that there is nothing more serious going on. I know what it's like to have a "wolf crier" myself and really 99% of the time they are over reacting and then comes that 1% and we feel like crap. (((HUGS))

As far as the letting go part...you already know that I struggle with this. When my youngest son(who's almost 20) calls me from college in Florida and I live in Minnesota, it is so damn hard. Yes, it would be so much easier if we could put them in a box and keep them close.

Glad you were able to get out of jury duty to be with your daughter. Hugs and love, Lori

Gaston Studio said...

So glad to hear that D2 is getting better and can certainly understand how you didn't do an immediately f/up with her being a wolf crier. I had one of those myself and it's really hard sometimes to know the difference!

Like someone else said, as for letting go you just have to... but I think it takes a bit of practice so there will be lots of ups and downs before it finally happens. And then you still wonder if you did the right thing!

Midlife Mama said...

Oh my goodness. Poor D2. Poor you! I'm so sorry she is so sick! And don't feel bad at all; you did everything right. Like you said, she tends to be a bit of a whiner and that's perfectly understandable. You and she are in our prayers for a quick recovery.

Midlife Mama said...

And letting go??? I guess it was because I was a single parent, but I couldn't WAIT for my kids to get out of the house. Does that make me bad parent? No, I think it makes me an exhausted single parent. LOL My 21 yo is still at home...again...*eye roll*. But truly, whether they're 21 or 51, you never stop caring about them when they're sick.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Oh, poor D2. What a rough week she had. She is so fortunate to have family close enough to give her love and help her through.

I have a hard time letting go. Daughter lives at home and commutes to University, which makes it so much easier on me. But son, who is almost 17, is very independent with an active social life. I spend a lot of time praying for his safety.

midlifeslices said...

I hate to break it to ya but that part of parenting never goes away for some of us....no matter how old they get or how close they are...you still get to worry about them being sick. Then someday you get grands and you get to worry about them and the fun never ends.

Glad she AND mom are feeling better. :)

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

SMB..I am SO sorry. Kidneys are nothing to fool around with.
Bringing her home..no..but I sure the heck don't blame you for the thought. It sounds like she went through a bit of hell there for a while. I know it is tempting but I think if a "suggestion" is turned down..you have to let her be.
Ireland is clear back in New York and Maryalice just went through the same thing with her. She is in one of those same little dorm rooms..slipped on ice and broke her leg and Mary was having fits. Emergency room all that..and Mary wanted to do the same thing. ORDER her home, gently of course..but after Spring break she was on a plane headed back to NY.

D2's situation is worse of course. Wow..I would be tempted too..but..I sure wouldn't force her. Poor baby. I hope she will be alright. Keep us posted. OK?

I guess being away in a crisis is part of growning up...at least there was some family fairly close by.

Tricia said...

Your poor daughter (and her mom). Kidney infections can be excruciating, put you on the floor, feel like your breaking in half painful. I truly hope she's feeling better soon and the follow up scan shows nothing more to worry about.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers, wishes and concern. You are a source of great comfort to me. D2 is feeling much better and is getting ready to go back to school.

Movie-She is feeling much better and if it weren't for the weather, she would be returning today.

Beth-I'm glad it didn't taken them that long to diagnose her.

Jan-You are right, of course. I have already had to go thru this with her sister but I still have issues with letting that one go too. *sigh*

Fancy-Oh the stories I could tell (or worse that they could tell about me) when I have blown off an injury or illness telling them to put on their big girl panties. One or both is sure to be on Oprah with a tell-all one day.

Di-I'm sure the judge was just loving me.

Smiles-I'm just glad she had the good sense to go back to the doctor without asking me because I would have discouraged it. Letting go is hard but I was just kidding about the box part. I think....

Gaston-It is hard. Her sister graduated from college and moved out of state. We miss her terribly but it's the way it was meant to be, I suppose.

Mama-You are so right about the age thing. I know for a fact that my dad still worries terribly about me. He's a worrier from way back.

Pseudo-Embrace them while you can but it's hard to find balance between nurturing and smothering. Balance is not my strong suite.

MLS-I guess I always knew that but it's becoming more and more clear every day.

Mona-I know, I know, I would never bring her home for something like this. But that doesn't mean I don't want to. *wink* I'm sorry to hear about your granddaugher. Yikes that's a tough one too. So hard, this mother gig. But so worth it.

Tricia-Thank you. She is feeling much better and is itching to get back to school now. I feel confident that it is just a kidney infection but will feel much better after the final OK and a clear scan.

Thanks again, Everyone. D2 reads this blog, so feel free to waive. She will enjoy the attention. *wink*

Phat Mama said...

Poor girl. :( Glad she is getting better.

Letting your kids go..

Hm. Mine are 18 & 17. I'm in the midst of a traumatic life change that includes moments of excitement over possible freedom (for me) and buckets of tears over not being needed like I was.

I have no words of wisdom just yet.

Michel said...

I am so sorry you had to go through that. Jury duty is bad enough!! Hope she gets better!

duchess said...

I read this post on the edge of my seat. I hope by now D2 is doing better.

And yes, I think lock, key and community college is definitely the solution.

Stepping Thru said...

Will continue to pray for her. It's so scarey when our kids are sick and we aren't close. Glad you Dad is able to help out. Grandpa is nearly as good as Mama. At least in our family he is.

blueviolet said...

From one mother to another, I know how your stomach must have been in knots not knowing and worrying. I'm glad it wasn't something more complicated! I hope that the medicines kick in quickly and she'll heal ASAP!

I can't wait to hear about the trial. :)

Smart Mouth Broad said...

PhatMama-She is getting better, thanks. You do have a big change right around the corner. Mine are 5 1/2 years apart so I had some time to get used to the idea. They're both coming home for summer tho.

Michel-She is better and ready to go back to school. She would have gone today but there were tornados in the area of her university. I am wondering what happened with the trial tho.

Duchess-Yes, thank you, she is much better now. Thank God for antibiotics. And whoever invented Cipro. As far as the locking them up goes.........if only it were that easy.

ST-It is scary. We had the same problems with her sister when she went to school. Gotta give em roots and then wings but dang if that ain't hard!

BV-She's almost back to good again. I know you know all about having one away at school. Tough work, this motherhood thing. But again, so worth it.

Kathy said...

Hi D2!!! =waves= Glad to see that you're feeling better, do NOT scare your mother like that again!!!!

SMB, nice job on the jury :)

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, that sounded a little scary, but I had a feeling that's what it was, a kidney infection.

My kids are grown, and letting them go to be adults in their own right without me looking over their shoulder and saying "do this" and "do that" has been hard, and I still do it on occasion, but they appreciate me having faith in their decisions too. It's a fine line to walk -- being mommy of little ones and being mommy of grown kids.

I hope your daughter gets well soon, and there are no other problems. And that you get some sleep and can relax in her healing.

Theresa said...

I'm so glad she is getting better. I've had the same thing happen to me and it was kidney stones.

My kids are 28, 28 and 26 and my heart hurts when they aren't feeling well. I don't think it ever goes away.

Debbie said...

Wow! Now that was quite a story! I am glad to know that I am not the only mom like that. I am much better though and I think you might have me beat just a little bit. It's really hard to let go of them...they are our babies! So glad she is going to be alright and the jury story was funny as are all your writings. Love the D2 expression SMB...you are a hoot! Funny...my son (who's 24) just arrived at my home yesterday! He is sleeping upstairs and I am about to do his laundry!...sad I know...sometimes quickly...sometimes slowly.:( I hope D2 is better soon. I actually have learned to let go and let God with my kids for the most part. Not easy but it's critical for them to be independent I think.

croneandbearit said...

Baby I started praying the moment I saw you having issues on Twitter. I'm still praying she fully recovers with no further complications. So sorry you had to go through all this (and your daughter too) See ya in Tweetsville. Big Hugs!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Kathy-Thanks. I have so many questions about that trial. I'll post about it this week.

Liar-Thanks. She went back to school today to study for upcoming tests. I think she'll be fine.

Theresa-I hear kidney stones are VERY painful. I'm glad it was only an infection. I completely agree on worrying no matter what their age.

Debbie-D2 never comes home without her dirty laundry.

C&Bit-Thank you so much. Your comment made me get all weepy. I really appreciate it.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Geez, I'm exhausted after reading all this. Hope you get to relax a tad this weekend.

I've been plagued by kidney infections - 104 degree fevers, hot/cold sweats,back pain, mind in a flux. I can feel for that girl. As to her being a bit of a whiner - good luck living that one down, Mom.

Oz Girl said...

OH my, so sorry, and I can't imagine how hard to deal with this from a distance. Since I've left Ohio, nothing dire has happened to my son or his wife, although I did have to return early Feb as my mother had a kidney removed due to a growth, that proved to be benign.

I myself did have a kidney stone long time ago, and I will never forget the back-breaking pain I endured.

Glad to hear she is doing better, and glad to hear your weather is so much better than ours! ;-)