FOCUS

The title of this post is really more a reminder for me than an indication of what you might find here. I’m having a hard time staying on task today. I had planned some sort of fun fashion post. It was my lame attempt to have a weekly feature. You know something like fashion seen thru the eyes of the unfashionable. How sad is it that I can’t even stick with the plan on week #2. *sigh*

I tried. I really did. But every time I sat down to put my scattered thoughts into words on paper screen, I would lose my focus. Allow me to demonstrate my thought processes:

I sit down on the sofa, laptop in lap, fingers at the ready. Then I decide that I might as well put on the Food Network and see if I can get any meal ideas for the coming week. Now, back to the brilliant post that I’m about to create……….but wait! What was that Rachael Ray just did with salami, prosciutto and a breadstick? Hmm, that looks tasty and fun. Let me back that up on the dvr so I can see what that cheesy stuff was in the middle. Now where was I?

With my attention on the topic at hand, I’ve completely missed the cheesy portion again and have to back up the dvr once more. This reminds me that there are programs that I need to be sure to record. I go to the menu on the dvr and select my new favorites that I will never find the time to watch. Now where was I? Oh yes, the fun fashion post. And just as I’m about to write my first word, MHS comes in and asks me to put another book on his ipod. I am nothing if not a people pleaser and I do this at once. Once my itunes is open, I start taking inventory of all the books that are there that I haven’t listened to yet. Then I think this might be a good time to put the six books that I just got from the library in my itunes. Surely I can accomplish that and write the post too.

While perusing the itunes, I see that it might be easier if I get my reading glasses. The problem is that I am already wearing my glasses for watching tv, driving, anything I want to see more than 10 feet away. What’s a girl to do? My solution?

Let’s be kind and try not to notice that this photograph was taken without the benefit of makeup or even a hairbrush for that matter.

Now where was I?

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

SIMPLY THE BEST

To all my bloggy buddies out there who showed me the love after my “personal crisis” yesterday *wink*, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It boggles the mind how much you can be lifted up by friends you’ve never even met even if it came as a result of my shameless begging for compliments.

You made me smile, laugh and gasp (Thanks, Michel, who called me a slutty ho……but in a nice way) with your loving comments.

Thanks to you, I’m feeling much better today and can now resume my life confident in the fact that I do not look older than my age………because you so lovingly lied to me told me so.

To show my appreciation, I have asked the Queen of perpetual youth, the illustrious Ms. Tina Turner to sing a very special song in your honor.

Ladies and Gentleman, let’s hear it for ……………………….TINA TURNER!

Thank you again. You are...........SIMPLY THE BEST!

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

WANTED: FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH…..STAT!

I really had no intention of blogging today. I’m cutting back, you know. However, I had the most awful thing happen to me today. And I ran crying in the streets, whined to every single person I encountered and still have not been able to exercise this demon from my brain. So who ya gonna call? No, not Ghostbusters. I’m turning to you, my beloved bloggy buddies. I know that I can count on you to show me the love. I know you darlings can be relied upon to tell me lies the truth. Ahhhh, I feel better already.

So here is what happened:

On a lunch break last week, I came across a pair of shoes that were so comfy and exactly what I needed. I was wearing heels at the time and they were NOT shopper friendly. My tootsies were crying. I slipped on the little angels and ahhhhhhhhh, instant relief. However, showing incredible restraint, I left without making the purchase. But the shoes…..they called to me…..they haunted me……I had to go back.

Today I went back to get the comfy shoes. I figured that I deserve them, right? That’s what I said to myself. “Self, you deserve those comfy shoes that you walked away from last week. Now just hurry yourself back to the store before some other woman goes home with your shoes.” And so I did.

When the clerk rang up the sale, I was surprised to see that the sale with tax was less than the price of the shoes. Never one to make a fuss, I quietly left the store without mentioning the obvious error. Imagine my horror, when upon inspecting the receipt I found that I had been given the “55 and over discount.” That bitch! Damn her! I stood there like my feet were glued to the pavement. I was dumbfounded. I was speechless. I didn’t know whether to go back and demand to pay full price or slink to the car in a state of total depression and just be grateful for the price break.

Eventually I staggered to the car. I sat there in a daze. I got out my phone and took a self-portrait with the camera on my crackberry. OMG! I did look over 55. I bet you want to see that picture, right? Yeah, I figured. Scroll down:

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Not that being over 55 is a bad thing, mind you………unless you are only 27 aren’t even 50 yet.

My commute home takes about an hour. I had lots of time to stew in my own juices. I called MHS. He reassured me that I don’t look anywhere near 50, let alone 55. Here is a man who knows on which side his bread is buttered. Next I whined to Daddy (in whose eyes I will forever be six years old). Daddy said that the woman was just being nice and gave everyone the discount.

I was not to be consoled. I stopped at the grocery on my way home. I ran into my next door neighbor and told my tale. She told me that I look great and the woman was clearly an idiot or visually challenged. It was about that time that Daughter #1 joined me to shop for dinner. I told her what had happened and she laughed her fool head off. She actually guffawed. So much for moral support……

After she composed herself (jerk) we moved on to the seafood department. Being completely consumed with my own midlife crisis, I turned to the man behind the counter and asked what he might suggest for dinner. He asked D1 and I if we liked pork. Huh? D1 said, “Aren’t you the fish guy? Way to support your department.” He laughed and said he was NOT the fish guy but was just covering the seafood counter. I argued that he has sold me lots of fish in the past and that must make him “almost the fish guy.” Now that we were friends and all, I said, “Hey, Mr. NOT the fish guy. How old do you think I am?” He said that I was probably 35. I rewarded him with a smile instead of a psycho reach across the counter punch in the nose and bought the salmon. I love intelligent men.

So my lovelies, show me the love. Lie to me if you must.

The night of the Brad Paisley concert

How old do I look? Twenty-seven, right? Never mind that I’m standing next to my 24 year old daughter. This is my most recent photo…….other than the one above that I took today. Regardless of what you really think, just tell me that I don’t look 55 and older so I can move on with my life.

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

 

 

Blue Bell Southern Blackberry Cobbler ice cream -  If they could figure out how to heat the cobbler within the ice cream without melting the actual cream, Lord have mercy, it would be HEAVEN ON EARTH.

Shoes – Heels, flats, peep toes, platforms, wedges, sneakers, kitten heels, boots, loafers, sandals, pumps, slippers……I love them all.  Oh and purses….don’t get me started on purses.

Books – I love books.  I am almost always in the middle of three.  One that I’m actually reading 5 minutes before I crash into blissful slumber, one on cd which I listen to on my commute and one on my ipod for mowing and yard work.  It can get confusing sometimes.

Twitter – Have an AHA moment? Got a gripe?  Have a secret?  Something exciting to share.  Twitter is instant gratification.  And it’s just you and two bazillion of your closest friends.

Turbocharged hand dryers in public restrooms – You know….the ones that almost blow the skin right off your hands.  I just love how fast they are.  I’m totally bummed when I encounter those sorry, old, slow ones now. 

The Dollar Spot at Target – It’s all a bunch of CRAP….and I know that.  But somehow I can’t resist browsing thru that section by the door every time I visit much to MHS’s dismay.  I’m absolutely certain that I’m going to find a real treasure at a dollar of a bargain someday.

Cake pants – I know that I’ve mentioned this a few times before but it’s worth mentioning again.  Life without cake pants (aka yoga pants) is like a day without cake sunshine.

Competition – Whether it’s football, board games, trivia shows or Dancing with the Stars, I just love me some competition.  Someone to root for for whom to root. *wink*  Like Donny Osmond. 

And speaking of Donny Osmond – So what if he’s a goody two shoes.  I say, GOOD.FOR.HIM!  He is a great entertainer (YES.HE.IS!), a wonderful family man, and from such a huge talented family.  You cannot wipe the smile off my face if Donny and or any other Osmond is performing.  AND I’ve loved him since I was eight years old….maybe longer.  If that kicks me out of the cool kids club, so be it.  I happen to know that VodkaMom loves Donny too and she is the QUEEN of the cool kids.

Soooooooooo……..what are some of your favorite things?

THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR

I used to laugh at my mother. She was a self-described pack-rat. The woman never threw away anything. And I mean anything. It was like playing Russian Roulette to go thru the leftovers in her refrigerator - that she kept in those plastic margarine and cool whip containers. She joked that she was waiting for it to turn the “proper shade of green.” ICK! I cleaned out her pantry in 2004 when she was sick. I found a jar of apple butter that someone had made in 1985 and given to my parents as a gift. I threw it away but not without protest. I made my father taste it to prove that it was bad. Oh.Yes.I.Did. I tried to give the argument that it was as old as Daughter #1 who was a freshman in college at the time. That apparently wasn’t good enough. And so…… the taste test.

After Lucy passed, I helped my dad go through a lot of her things. You have to wonder what goes through someone’s mind that compels them to keep a program from the neighbor kid’s band concert for 30 years.

I always thought that my brother, Smitty, was the only one who inherited this particular personality flaw trait. My sisters and I have always been anti-clutter. We like our counter tops clear. We don’t like piles of “stuff” hanging around. A place for everything and everything in its place, right?

Somehow and I don’t know how it happened, it just happened. Actually I believe it happened over time. But once again, I’ve realized that I have become my mother. I was so proud of my oh so non-pack-rat, throw it out, keep it simple philosophy only to discover this weekend that I am, in fact, a pack-rat. And I just might be the packiest rat of all. Maybe it was motherhood and all those cute little drawings that came home from school to be displayed on the fridge. But there were always more to come. I couldn’t throw them away. After all, they were priceless pieces of art. And then there were the report cards, award certificates, ribbons, essays and school newsletters. I could probably fill a landfill just with the test papers I kept. 2 kids multiplied by 13 years of schooling, not to mention preschool. (Oddly enough, I’ve never gotten any test papers from college.)

And school days keepsakes are just the tip of the iceberg. Apparently it’s been way too long since I’ve gone on a de-cluttering mission. Because let me tell you, this house is full of CRAP. All kinds of CRAP!

You see, My Harley Stud and I are attempting to downsize and simplify our lives. I’ve spent the last few weekends going through all the piles and boxes and bags of junk we’ve collected and stashed away for keepsakes or put aside. Books, unused small appliances, ancient home decor items, etc are all getting either thrown out, given away or sold in………………….the upcoming YARD SALE! Just shoot me now.

MHS keeps asking me, “Don’t you want to just take all this crap to Goodwill? Is it really worth it?” In this economy, who am I to miss an opportunity to make some extra cash? I’ll tell you who I am. A FLIPPIN’ LUNATIC!

If you never hear from me again:

1. I’m trapped under a pile of CRAP that has fallen from the top shelf of the closet.

2. I’ve taken all my yard sale earnings and ran away to a tropical island.

3. I ditched the whole project and I ran away to Canada. I really want to run away to Canada. They have all the fun.

4. MHS tied me up and put me in one of the boxes when he hauled the entire mess to Goodwill.

Anyone looking for a used Halloween costume for their toddler, Husband, teenager, dog? I’ve got them all.

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

FASHIONISTA FRIDAY

The attire for the evening was Sunday Best.

It was Parent’s Weekend at Daughter #2’s university. She pledged to a sorority this year and that meant that Parent’s Weekend was more than just tailgating and going to the football game. There were functions to attend. The first was the New Member Banquet. And the attire was Sunday Best.

I’m sorry to say but it’s been awhile since my butt has found a place in the pew. Note to self: Get back to church. But even so, we live in South Florida where churches tend to be a little more casual so you can head straight to the beach after services. It’s not that I didn’t know what Sunday Best meant. It’s just that I didn’t have a lot of it and what I did have was terribly outdated. A shopping trip was in order.

Of course I waited until the last minute to attend to this matter. If it weren’t for the last minute, I would never get anything done. The night before we were to leave, I made plans with Daughter #1 to meet me for some shopping fun. If you are fashion challenged, like me, this is where you need to pay close attention: Bring a fashion consultant.

I should probably point out that while I don’t think I have bad taste, no one thinks that they have bad taste, I do have a hard time stepping out of my fashion box. This results in my wardrobe resembling a closet full of uniforms. I tend to go for layers, solid colors and timeless pieces that I can wear for 10 years before replacing.

When I arrived at the store, D1 was already there with her arms full. She quickly tried to usher me into the fitting room. I attempted to look over what she had selected first but she insisted that we just go straight into the dressing room.

Once inside, there was really only one thing there that I might have chosen myself. But knowing that I really need to step out of my box and she was so excited, I indulged her by trying on the dresses. Much to my surprise, I liked them all. She had not only found dresses that were stylish like I might know but also were a size smaller. Yahoo! She even managed to find items that were within my budget. This was fun.

Oddly enough, the only dress that I didn’t really care for was the one that I would have selected if I had been doing the choosing. I eventually selected one dress for the banquet and another because I couldn’t walk away from the price. We quickly made jewelry and shoe decisions and were on our way.

There was just one other purchase that had to be made on the way. SPANX. If you don’t know what they are, do the research. It is a must. Just say NO to panty lines …..SERIOUSLY. I opted for the Target version known as ASSETS. They are made by the same company but missing the tinkle hole in the “ya know”. (Like that wouldn’t be a disaster in itself anyway) My ASSETS worked like a charm for my assets. *wink* There is one thing you need to remember: Buy a size smaller than the chart on the back of the package indicates.

For the fashion challenged like me, let’s review:

1. Always take your fashion consultant with you. If you don’t have a fashion consultant, mine is available free of charge. You just have to pay for her airfare. She loves to travel.

2. Never be afraid to try something you wouldn’t choose for yourself.

3. Always consider Spanx/Assets to enhance your…well….ass..ets.

When I stepped out for the evening, I felt great. Confident that I looked tasteful, fashionable and thanks to ASSETS, a little slimmer. Even if My Harley Stud did think that I looked a bit like a flight attendant. JACKASS!

“Would you care for a headset? That will be $5.00. Thank you for flying SMB Airlines.”

I’M BECOMING MY MOTHER

It’s official. I’m becoming my mother.

If you’re a new reader here, you may not have heard about my mother, Lucy. She has been gone now for over five years but remains an ever-present influence on my life. She was quite the character. I guess if I had to pick one story to sum her up it would be this one……and this one. (Yeah, yeah…It’s my blog, I can count as I please.)

Go on, click the links…..You won’t regret it.

I don’t really have a Lucy story for you today. Instead I am confessing that I have become my mother. Allow me to present the evidence:

Lucy was a stickler for proper grammar. And correct spelling. And legible handwriting. I remember walking home from elementary school with a friend on report card day. She told me how happy she was because she got a “C” in Spelling and would finally be ungrounded. I was stunned! I was certain that I would BE grounded if I got a “C” in Spelling.

Until the day she died, Lucy would not let me complete a sentence without correcting my grammar. It drove her crazy to hear people end a sentence with a preposition. And we lived in Indiana! I think it’s an Indiana state law that you have to end a sentence with a preposition at least once a day. “Where’s my coat at?”

Since Lucy is no longer here to correct my grammar, I’ve begun to do it myself. The other day at the grocery I said something to the cashier and didn’t use correct grammar. I admonished myself all the way to the car……OUT LOUD. So now people not only think I’m uneducated but also that I’m a lunatic that holds entire conversations with herself. *sigh*

Daughter #1 asked me to proof a letter she was sending the other day. After giving her my corrections, she asked, “Do you correct other blogger’s grammar in your head as you read?” I made a face and said a firm, “NO! Of course not!” She continued to stare at me with raised eyebrows………….and I crumbled.

“It’s not like I leave comments with corrections or anything. I just notice.” She nodded with the satisfaction of “I knew it!”

I can't help myself. I've been conditioned all my life. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not an English expert. You won’t always see proper grammar and spelling here. Sometimes, it is because I’m feeling like a rebel and sometimes it’s because I just missed it and sometimes, despite Lucy's efforts, I just don't know any better. I will tell you that after more than a year of blogging, I’ve stopped going back and reading and re-reading my own posts 27 times a day, editing as I go. I still probably read what I’ve written no less than five times before I publish. I know…it’s an illness. Nevertheless Lucy would be proud as long as I don’t end my sentence with a preposition.

Now, where’s my sweater at? It’s getting chilly. *wink*

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

THERE’S NO GOING BACK NOW

Thanks to my boss, Daughter #1 and I had VIP passes to the Brad Paisley concert last night.  As if that wasn’t thrilling enough, Dierks Bentley was a special guest and the concert opener was Jimmy Wayne.  Can I get a big YEEHAW!

I’m not usually crazy about going to concerts.  I’m not phobic or anything but I don’t really care for large crowds.  This may or may not have something to do with being married to My Harley Stud who doesn’t tolerate large crowds, waiting in lines or invasion of personal space well.  In other words, he can be a JackAss, God bless his little heart.

It quickly became very clear to D1 that I’m not familiar with the whole concert process as I gushed, “Oooooh, they tailgate at concerts just like football games.” as we walked thru the parking lot.  She gave me the classic, “Duh, Mom, don’t you know anything?” look.  We stopped at a concession stand to buy a beer and I was shocked to find that a beer was $10.00.  A.SINGLE.GLASS.OF.BEER!  And yet…..so many appeared to be already drunk.  Who says the economy is hurting?  But I guess that could have been a result of the tailgating, huh?  Yeah, I’m a bit slow sometimes. 

Once inside, we discovered that our box seats were excellent.  We had our own waitress so we didn’t have to wait in any more concession lines.  By mere coincidence, her first name was Smart Mouth too.   She had no problem remembering my name however seemed to have trouble remembering our order.  *sigh*  Outside of that the concert was great.  We didn’t have to stand up even once to be able to see.  And the VIP bathrooms…….Let me tell you:  Barely a line, clean, no one throwing up and some high class conversation that went something like this:

Woman in stall next to mine on her cell phone – Hi.  I’m just calling to get the score.  No, I’m at a concert.  I can’t talk right now.  I just wanted to get the score.  OK, I’ll call you later.

Same woman talking to friend while washing her hands – Yeah, I just called home to get the score.  I just love that Tim Tebow.  Not just because he’s a good quarterback but because he’s a Christian and a really good guy.  That’s “effin” important to me.  (only she didn’t say “effin” if you get my drift)  Gotta love a Gator fan.  Oops!  Did I say that out loud?

So anyway, D1 and I have decided that there’s no going back.  Nothing less than VIP will ever do from now on.  Don’t ask me how either one of us would come up with the $250 plus per ticket but let me tell you, it’s the only way to go. 

Jimmy Wayne was great.  I had never heard of him before last night but I have heard his songs on the radio and like them well enough to know the words to sing along.  He was a great entertainer and really knew how to work the crowd.

And then there was Dierks.  What can I say?  The man has has blue eyes that just might be the cause of global warming.  *sigh*

And Brad?  Well, Brad Paisley is my all time country favorite.  I love that he is a great musician as well as a fabulous singer/songwriter.  He is talent personified, I don’t care what you say.  And he has a sense of humor that comes through in so many of his songs.  What can I say?  I just love me some Brad Paisley.

Dierks melting hearts all across Palm Beach County Brad. *sigh*  Can you believe these seats?  (At the end of the night he put that hat on a little boy in the crowd and walked off stage.  Awww)

I wanted to link my favorite Brad Paisley video but NO CAN DO says YouTube.  Instead, You can click here to watch it on YouTube.  The lyrics are printed below.  Living with a house full of girls, it is the story of MHS’s life.  Enjoy….

"Waitin' On A Woman"
Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman
When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman
He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman
And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman
Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

FRIDAY FUN

I found this little piece of too much fun on Grandpa’s blog. He is an amazing poet who truly is a word mechanic. If you’ve never visited Grandpa, you don’t know what you’re missing. I, myself, am terrible with poetry. Well except that one about Nantucket. *wink* But Grandpa is a master. Today however he posted this very fun video that I just couldn’t help stealing.

I would take the stairs every time! Wouldn’t you?

I just realized this post might qualify for Otin, Hit40 and RxBambi's Happy Hour Friday. Watching people on these stairs really made me happy. :-)

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

A LITTLE MORE WINE, MY DEAR?

This is my first Travel Tip Thursday hosted by my dear friend, Pseudo of Pseudonymous High School Teacher. Pseudo and friends transport us to fabulous locales every Thursday. Click the link for more Travel Tips.

We stopped in North Carolina on our way home from Indiana a few weeks ago. My Harley Stud surprised me with a trip to a local winery. This was a real treat for me and a very generous gesture from MHS as he doesn’t like wine. MHS knows that I’ve always wanted to visit a winery that we pass every time we go to the lake to see Daddy but never seem to have the time. So instead, we traveled a few miles from MHS’s brother’s where we were staying to Raffaldini Vineyards.

Raffaldini’s is located in the Swan Creek area of Yadkin Valley. The picturesque setting is what drew us to this particular winery but it was the wine that surpassed the expectations of this virgin wine taster. Of course, this was not the first time I’ve tasted wine but it was my first real wine tasting. (I really need to get out more)

MHS left me at the wine tasting and did a bit of exploring on his own. By exploring, I mean that he took several calls from customers, read emails, called both of our daughters, and checked the weather of every single person we know with his fancy weather app all while walking the grounds. In other words, he found ways to entertain himself while I was having great fun at the wine bar.

I joined two sisters from Minnesota at the bar. They were such nice women and I couldn’t have asked for better companions on my first wine tasting experience. Our hostess was fabulous and a wealth of information about the wine, the grapes and the area. She had a warmth and wit about her that made you feel as though you had been invited into her living room for a glass of wine.

The following is what I learned during the wine tasting. I should warn you that any details I can’t remember have been replaced with those I made up. Details…who needs ‘em.

Raffaldini’s is owned by a first generation Italian-American family. The family can trace their history back to the 1300s in Italy. The winery in Yadkin Valley was established in 2001. They started with thirty-three different grapes. In an effort to create the Italian wines of their ancestors, the Raffaldini’s, after determining what grows well in the Carolinas now grow only eight different varieties of Italian grapes.

I had the pleasure of tasting seven different wines: 3 white, 3 red and 1 rose. All were wonderful. I particularly liked a white that was selected by the US State Dept. for President Obama to give as a gift at the G8 Summit. I loved their Urbano. Urbano is a red that is made primarily from Sangiovese grapes which are the grapes used to make chianti. I also fell in love with a red called Pino Vino, named after the Raffaldini's dog. It even has a picture of Pino on the bottle.

After the tasting, I gathered up a few sandwiches, some cheese, a diet coke for MHS and of course a glass of wine for me. We had a lovely lunch on the terrace that overlooks the vineyard. It was then that I decided that working at a winery will be my retirement job. How fun would that be!

The entire property is covered with rose bushes. Many were still blooming even though the cool fall weather has already hit the area.

We couldn’t leave without buying a few bottles of wine. I was told that as good as they were the day we were there, they will be even better if we can wait a year before opening them. We gave a few bottles away as gifts. The rest are tempting me even as I write this. It will be interesting to see how long I can hold out.

Vineyard employees hard at work

This was the view as we left.

A little more wine, my dear?

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

IT’S ALL GREEK TO ME

It was Parent’s Weekend in Tally.

Daughter #2 joined a sorority this year which meant that Parent’s weekend was full of activities and not just an excuse to get tickets to the football game.

Daughter #1 was also in a sorority while at the same university but I have to say, it’s still all Greek to me. The whole idea of a secret society intrigues, bewilders and frustrates me. I hate secrets. I’m a blabbermouth and expect everyone else to be also. Is that a bad thing?

We attended a banquet on Friday night at a local country club. Required dress was Sunday best. I think I may have stressed out D2 slightly every time I said, “I mow the yard on Sundays, so lately my Sunday best is my very fashionable knit shorts from the clearance rack at Gander Mountain and a tank top. Can I wear that?” Never fear, D1 dropped her Food Nazi title and became my fashion consultant for the gig. Stay tuned for a future post about that adventure.

*What is it about saying you are going to cut back on blogging that you suddenly have tons of ideas for things about which to write?*

We had lunch on Saturday with NoleBoy and his parents. D2 and NoleBoy were celebrating one year together that same day. A better mom would have thought to take some pictures. *sigh* How about a link to last year’s Parent’s Weekend? Daughter #1 was present for the festivities but left shortly afterward to travel to Pensacola to meet friends.

There was a cook-out at the sorority house prior to the game. This was our first opportunity to tour the house. Whoever said “poor struggling college students” wasn’t referring to Greek life. The house was beautiful and meals are prepared by and served to you by house staff. I’m thinking that I might join myself. Is there an age limit on being a sorority girl?

After the cook-0ut MHS and I got to see once again what it feels like to be a college student and walk everywhere. Parking is an issue at every university, I think, and FSU is no exception. We walked 100 miles to Doak stadium and visited friends who were tail-gating. It was about this time that I was really wishing we had some of that Indiana fall weather we had experienced the week before. There’s no fall in Florida. We have two seasons: summer and “not quite” summer. Sometimes I wonder why anyone lives here.

The game. Don’t get me started on the game. OK, I’ll tell you about it but I’m going to skip the part about how we didn’t win. The Seminoles hosted the Georgia Tech Bumblebees Yellow Jackets. If we had to lose, at least we were playing a team whose fans never failed to entertain me. I should explain that even though I’ve been a Seminole Mom for several years now and should know better, I tend to procrastinate like the challenge of waiting until the last minute to buy my game tickets and make my hotel reservations. In the past this modus operandi has worked to our advantage but this year, it resulted in us sitting in the visiting team section and driving 40 miles to Bainbridge, Ga to sleep. MHS was lovin’ me. FO SHO!

So anyway, Georgia Tech would chant, “Let’s go, Jackets” and D2 and I would crack up. EVERY.TIME.THEY.DID.IT. And they did it a lot! You see it sounded to us like, “Let’s go, Jackass!” Even now, it’s still funny. They had another one that sounded like, “Jackass, Go home.” I have no idea what they were actually saying but it was so fun, I would even chant with them. It was the first time we’ve ever been to any sporting event where we weren’t sitting next to some obnoxious drunk. I’m thinking maybe this time, I was the obnoxious one. Just not drunk.

If you’re a long-time reader here, you may remember that “Jackass” is MHS’s other name. You know…… the name I call him when he says things that aren’t exactly P.C., drives too fast, swears in public…..you know, that sort of thing. Yeah, he can be a jackass. In fact, that is his name on the wii wii. I swear. So I’m thinking, this can be my new chant.

If you don’t hear from me, I may have chanted one too many times. Even now………..it still cracks me up. I guess you had to be there.

The game started at 8pm. We weren’t very far into it when they called a storm delay. That means there was lightning in the area. The players leave the field but the fans remain in their seats to get zapped. Once it started to rain a bit, we took cover. What do you do when you’ve got nothing else to do? Well, if you have a serious crackberry addiction………….

MHS kept us in the know with his fancy, dancy weather app on his crackberry. D2 facebooked and tried in vain to reach NoleBoy who was two sections over with his parents but “never has a signal in here.” Me? I tweeted. Well, that and I tried to take pictures of people who obviously didn’t check their look in the mirror before leaving the house. Sadly, they were moving too fast and my photography skills were lacking.

Eventually, the game resumed only to end in disaster after 1 am. Yes, that’s what I said. The game lasted until after 1 am. You can probably guess how happy MHS was with me that I booked a hotel 40 miles away. “Let’s go, Jackass!” Hahahaha. Yep, it still cracks me up.

The weekend officially concluded with a brunch at the sorority house. Again, I’m thinking I really need to look into joining. I could really get used to Greek life. I bet they will love my new chant. Alright, I’ll shut up now.

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

TRAVEL TIP THURSDAY POSTPONED

I know that I promised you a Travel Tip Thursday post today. I'm sorry. I'll shoot for next week. Somehow I managed to drag my cold, lifeless body into the office today. *insert eyeroll for the drama queen performance* I'm feeling a bit under the weather (nothing serious) and we are off on another roadtrip this weekend (another post in the works) so until next week.........



Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

I’M A BIG KID NOW

I wore a scarf to work yesterday. It was awkward. I know, I know….”accessories make the outfit.”

Why is it that every time I try to step out of my box with a new accessory, I feel like the seven year old SMB playing dress-up?

A trendy necklace, bangle bracelets, above-mentioned scarf…they all make me feel like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. Someone way cooler than me. And then I feel silly and take it off.

But not this time. This time I wore my scarf proudly. I strutted around like a dang supermodel. I was a grown-up. All day. I was ……dare I say it……almost chic. It felt good.

What do you wear to step out of your wardrobe box? What makes you feel like a grown-up? Or do you always feel like a grown-up because you are one? Surely I can’t be the only one who feels this way?

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad

NEVER SAY DIE

First things first! Wasn’t Otin’s story posted here during my short-lived “retirement” awesome! I’d like to thank Otin for showering me with encouragement to continue blogging. Stepping back for a few weeks has made me realize that I love it here with you guys and I don’t have to give up blogging completely just because my real life is crazy busy.

Balance has always been a problem for me. When I started blogging, it was love at first write. (I crack myself up) I’ve met so many great bloggers and found so many wonderful blogs. The problem is that I just don’t have the time to read over 100 blog posts a day. Who does? By trying to post regularly and read and comment everywhere, I began to fall behind in my real life responsibilities. I needed to get things into perspective. Walking away for awhile has given me the perspective I needed to realize that I don’t have to post everyday. I don’t have to read every single one of your posts. I don’t expect you to read every single one of mine. We all need balance in our lives. I love it here in blogland but my real life family and friends deserve quality time from me too whether they want it or not.

So, I’m back. You won’t see something new from me everyday. You won’t see me at your place everyday. But I’m back. As much as I can be until I can afford to be cloned.

You’re not rid of me yet.

***My Harley Stud and I just got back from our annual trek to Indiana. I’m working on my first Travel Tip Thursday post. Stay tuned……..***

Hugs,

Smart Mouth Broad