Several years ago, Lucy, aka my mother and I went on a roadtrip together to visit my sister, Snips. I have a few tidbits from the trip that I would like to share with you. My fond memories of Lucy (and there are many) are the treasures I keep close to my heart. They help to ease the pain of losing her far too early.
Lucy had an extraordinary bladder. The woman could drink water the entire trip and never need a bathroom break. I, on the other hand must have the weakest bladder on the planet. It's legendary. If I'm in the car, you need to factor in additional hours to the trip for potty stops. I can't help it. It's not my fault. OK, it probably doesn't help that I can't get in the car without a drink of some sort but I get thirsty, ok? Lucy, clearly annoyed with stopping for the umpteenth time, said to me, "Listen, Smart Mouth, if you would just start peeing in the yard, you could be the solution to the drought we are having."
I'm a little near-sighted. I wear glasses or contacts to correct my vision. But sometimes I just go without correction. Let me explain that I'm not endangering anyone's life by flying blind. It's not that bad. I just can't read signs until I'm right on top of them. It's my turn to drive and Lucy is in the passenger seat. I see what appears to be a dead dog on the side of the road. I say out loud, "Oh, no. I hate to see that." Lucy looks up and asks what I'm talking about. "That dead dog." Lucy starts to laugh. I'm appalled at her lack of compassion. Then as we get closer, it is revealed that it's a strip of rubber from a blown out truck tire. For the rest of the trip, Lucy would taunt me every time she saw a piece of rubber saying, "Oh no, look Smart Mouth, there's another one." And if the piece was small, she would say, "Awww, it's a puppy."
It was now Lucy's turn to drive. We were in downtown Atlanta. It was evening but traffic was still heavy. People were weaving in and out like maniacs. Lucy, who was more accustomed to country driving clearly was not happy. At one point, another driver cut her off. She said, "Asshole!" You need to understand that Lucy didn't swear often. When she did, it was always comical because it was so out of character. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her that just the previous Sunday I had learned in church that when you want to say something unkind, you are supposed to just shut up and pray. Lucy, a woman of faith herself, took one look at me, raised her eyebrows and said, "OK, I'm gonna shut up and pray that asshole doesn't cut off anyone else!"
I miss you, Lucy! MUAHHH!