Thursday, October 30, 2008


This is Daisy Head Mayzie. She was named after the last literary work of Dr. Suess. The book by the same name was found completed but unpublished in Dr. Suess' desk by his wife after his death. It's a delightful story about a little girl who wakes one day feeling a little strange and goes on to find there is a daisy growing out of the top of her head and the drama that ensues.

Our Mayzie doesn't have a daisy growing from the top of her head. But her nose did come off. *gasp* Yes, I know, it's awful. It happened last Easter.

We decided to treat Mayzie by giving her the ham bone from our Easter ham. One of those really big bones from a spiral cut ham. It had plenty of ham scraps still on it. She was beside herself with happiness. She loved that bone. She couldn't think about anything else but the bone. She became obsessed. The ham bone was her crack.

Apparently a side effect of ham bone crack is that it makes you paranoid. Our dear Mayzie, normally a trusting soul, was suddenly suspicious of anyone who looked her way. She worried that they might want to steal her ham bone crack. She went about hiding her treasure. She would dig a hole in the yard and bury it. But she was so addicted to it that she couldn't leave it be. She had to dig it up. She had to have just one more little chew of this Easter yumminess that had become a disgusting, filthy, stringy mess. She would bring it to the door with those puppy dog eyes. She pleaded with me to allow her to bring her ham bone crack into the house. I responded like any normal thinking woman would; telling her there was no way on God's green earth she was bringing that disgusting thing into my house. Off she would go to bury it again. But not before looking all around to make sure that no one was watching. If she saw me looking at her through the window, she would move to an area out of my sight.

If I had to guess, I would say that Mayzie would bury and dig up that darn bone no less than 30 times a day. She had a hole by every tree, stump and fence post in the yard by the end of the week. She would use her paws to dig the hole. Then carefully place the ham bone in the hole. She would then proceed to cover up the hole by using her paws again and then pat it down with her nose. She repeated this routine so many times, that her nose became raw and sore. Then one day, the black just came off. She was left with a shiny pink ball at the end of her snout. It wasn't long after that the ham bone disappeared. I don't know if another animal found it and carried it away or is she finally buried it so many times, she forgot where she left it.

All I know is our little baby is no longer a ham bone crack addict.

And her nose still hasn't grown back yet. Or at least not completely.

Do you know how hard it is to get a very active SUPERDOG like Mayzie to stand still for a picture?

Poor little nose.


smiles4u said...

What a cute story! Her poor nose. She is so darn cute though...I love her name too. Makes me miss my dog, Molly, a gold retriever, that I had for 17 years and we had to put her to sleep last November. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

Jan said...

Aw, poor Mayzie. She's so sweet!

I once gave Scooter not one but TWO bones leftover from porterhouse steaks I'd made for a special dinner. He loved those bones and gnawed them down to nothing.

He then proceeded to puke and have diarrhea all over my cream colored carpets. Several times. In several places. While I was at work.

No more bones for Scooter.

Bear Naked said...

Ahh poor baby.
Does the vet say it will come back or has she rubbed it off for good?

Bear((( )))

thistle said...

dogs are strangely paranoid creatures...especially the crackheads...

but perhaps not without reason, around here any fool that tries to hide a cookie loses said cookie pdq as there's alway some smartass sibling or cousin waiting patiently, smirking with pedicured toes tapping, until the hoarder's back is turned...and then swooping in to steal the caresfully buried treasure...ruthless is their middle name...

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love this story, I think Daisy Head Mayzie is adorable, and your telling of the story was so fun. Ham bone crack addict indeed. And thistle is pretty funny too.

Slick said...

Geeezus SMB, you got your dog dependent on a drug such as hambone??

I'm calling social services.

Wait, Mayzie isn't addicted any longer?

Can you save the hambone for me next year?

Diana said...

Awww, poor baby. She's adorable! Such a sweet face. :)

nothingfancy1 said...

She's still super cute, even w/o the nose. In fact, she's so cute...I may have to send her a ham bone. She deserves one. Or two. Or three.

Hilary said...

Aww what a cute but obsessive pup! I know the type and I sure do understand the difficulty in snapping a good shot of an active dog. Three words explains my empathy - Jack Russell Terrier. ;)

Debbie said...

Hi. Found you from a comment on another blog. Poor Mayzie. I am sure she doesn't even know she lost her nose, unless some other dog mentions it. You know how bad they are to gossip. Love that you named your dog after a Dr. Seuss character. Our cats are named after Narnia characters.

Tricia said...

What a great story, and her poor nose. It's kind of like a story with a moral...if we indulge too much in the things we love, we pay a price? Kind of like my love of chocolate and my loss of figure.

Your dog is adorable!

goodfather said...

Awesome name for your poor, poor, doggie! She's adorable. I love Dr. Suess. I hope her nose makes a full recovery, somehow...

goodfather said...

OK, I wasn't going to say this but no one else is and I just can't contain it any longer:


Smart Mouth Broad said...

Smiles-Yep, she's a cutie. Sorry about your Molly. Sounds like she had a great life.

Jan-EWWWWWW! I should say so. NO MORE BONES for Scooter. LOL
PS. There's a reason we have wood floors now and our story is similar. YUK!

Bear-Her nose did start to come back but she keeps finding more trouble to get into and undoes any healing. In the words of my friend, Thistle: "Dumb Derg"

Thistle-Mayzie's only competition around here is a 10lb shih tsu who thinks she's a cat and isn't interested in bones so I don't think her paranoia is justified. But then again, she is a crackhead.

Pseudo-Thank you. And I love Thistle's comments too. I love the way her mind works.

Slick-Next Easter's ham bone (crack)....ALL YOURS!

Diana-She's a sweetheart.


Hilary-Jack Russell Terrier. I have three words for you: Oh My Goodness! LOL
Thanks for stopping by. Please come again.

Debbie-The Dr. Seuss book was a Daughter #2 favorite and Mayzie is actually her dog. But she went to college and we're holding the dog hostage now. I love Narnia too!
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you'll come again.

Tricia-Yes a lesson indeed. And I don't like those kind of lessons. LOL I'm with you. I think my crack my be chocolate. But that's another post for another day.

GF-Thanks. If you haven't gotten it already, your girls would love this story.

Oh and LMAO at your OH NOES! That's what I love about you. You're even cornier than I am and I didn't think that was possible.

KJ said...

Oh, poor little puppy. Gave himself a scar! Must have really loved that crack.


Smart Mouth Broad said...

KJ-She sure did. Thanks for stopping by.

Stepping Thru said...

Ham Bone Crack is hilarious! Thanks for the great post. My best to Mayzie (awesome name too).

Smart Mouth Broad said...

ST-Thanks and Mayzie sends her best right back at cha!

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...



The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Poor Mayzie..... nose looks owie boo boo.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Lynn-Thanks for stopping by. I know how busy you are right now.

The Blue Ridge Gal-Thanks for visiting. I hope you'll come back again.