Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I made it to Yoga (aka Yogurt class) today. You might have heard me mention that I joined a new gym because it offered more classes and was closer to my office making it more difficult for me to talk myself out of going on the 30 second drive there. I left my office early today to try the yoga class. I have very little experience with yoga but there are a few things I know for sure:

  1. Yoga is harder than it looks.
  2. I am wound up tighter than a top.
  3. It's not acceptable to laugh out loud at yourself when you can't assume the pose. (I learned this lesson the hard way.)
  4. Yoga improves your flexibility and that is something that we all need to work on as we get older.
  5. It's hard for me to remain silent for an hour.
  6. There are some positions that this body just doesn't want to assume no matter how much I will it to go there.
  7. Yoga reminds me of a very somber hokey pokey and that makes me laugh which is of course… not tolerated.
  8. It's hard to ignore belly fat when your nose is in your navel.
  9. If you let me lie there for too long, I'm going to fall asleep.
  10. It's hard to find your inner peace when you had to cut off two cars and scare the crap out of three pedestrians to make it to class on time.

There are a lot of things I need to know about yoga but we'll start with just 10: (Braja, are you out there?)

  1. What in the name of stretch pants and bottled water is a chakra and why does it have so many colors?
  2. Will it eventually become clear to me how to breathe AND twist myself into a pretzel at the same time?
  3. Is it considered bad form to yell BOOYAH when you finally make it to the toes you've been reaching toward for an hour?
  4. Don't be fooled by the title of this post. I have no idea what that word means. So?……….. what does it mean?
  5. It does get easier, right?
  6. Is it possible that maybe yoga just isn't for everyone? (Even though I really want to do this.)
  7. What makes yoga pants… pants?
  8. When people say "hot yoga", are they referring to the temperature in the room or the participants in the class?
  9. Why "hot yoga"?
  10. Is there something that I should know but I'm so clueless that I don't even know to ask?

If you are a yoga instructor, take yoga classes, or stumbled in a class once and can answer any or all of my questions, please leave a comment here. If you are as clueless as I am, please tell me that too. I don't like to walk alone.


Anonymous said...

I've tried yoga on many occasions. Sometimes it's good, other times, not so much. I really want to like it and I know it's one of the best things around, but maybe not at this time.

For me, I take my bike everywhere in the summer.I'm more destination driven.

Bear Chick said...

Oh my, I really needed the laugh(s) I got reading your post. I want to like yoga and I keep trying but only at home. Me + any kind of physical class = no no no no no!

I believe Namaste is basically acknowledging the God in the other person, a peaceful salutation.

Thanks again for the giggles!

Anonymous said... is harder than it looks isn't it. I used to think dark thoughts about the yoga instructor who made us do ridiculously dificult balancing exercises at 6am before the first cup of tea.

It does get easier...and no, i don't think yoga is for everyone. I think those who wear a size 0 should have to don a fat suit and attempt said yoga to see just how hard it is to do when you have more than 5% body fat.... was nice to see hilary and friends back in a cameo and the Eagles? are the greatest group in the history of mankind...just sayin'

♥ Braja said...

OK, first? Yes, it's for everyone...but sometimes the style of yoga isn't...or some of the asanas aren't for you. You need to go to a proper yoga teacher. Try Iyengar Yoga: it's the best. Oh I loved this...and laughed so poor darling, being with people who are SO SERIOUS. I know people like that. They irritate the shit outta me. Oh, wait, that wasn't very yogic...:) OK, so in fact it is a meditation, it is not considered 'good form' to laugh, speak, etc, because what we're doing is actually working inwards....external expressions are not encouraged only because they detract from focussing the energy inward. It breaks the mood. I've done it myself, and you should know in your heart that every cat-butt-faced yogi in that room has done it too. Sometimes they get too serious....don't let it get you down. The breathing? I always remember Jane Fonda from the 80's: "don't forget to breathe..." and yes, it comes with's a hard thing to do. Booyah :)) God that made me laugh. But sometimes a class needs that lightness. And you need to be congratulated when you pass a milestone. I wish you could come to the classes I taught; boy we had fun :) Yes it gets easier...of course it does. :) Hot yoga is a trend and I am ignoring it. It's crap. Namaste means basically "I acknowledge the spirit soul within your body, and bow to you." It is used as a form of "Hello" or "Welcome," but embodies that entire mood of acknowledging the soul, not the body. A chakra is an energy centre of the body, and there are several. I have no ideas about the colors and ignore that part, but you can look up Google and find out all about chakras. I don't pay so much attention to them, but women should focus on the heart, throat, and lower chakra that governs the reproductive organs. Those three are our most prominent. Poses which open up these chakras are good; the energy flows, we "unblock" those chakras, and things become more balanced---prana (life force) then can flow through these chakras and throughout the body, thus giving balance. If one of the chakras is blocked--and with women it's usually one of these three--it causes emotional imbalance or disruption, and of course disease...I hope this all helps. Keep going. But believe me: look for Iyengar's the best. Seriously.

Lori said...

You are too funny! I love yoga as you know and yes it does get easier the more you do it. The more you do the takes concentration and practice at breathing right...and then it becomes more natural to breathe that way, while your trying to do these various moves. The person that should be answering all these questions is Braja.

Namaste means "I bow to the divine in you." I also was taught this meaning, "The light in me honors the light in you."

Hot yoga refers to the temp. and I have been told that it is suppose to be helpful to loosen and move better. But, I am not sure on that 'cause I have never done it myself.

Have I shared with you already about the time I got kicked out of a yoga class because of laughing? You see, this guy laying next to me falls asleep and he starts making this really weird, kinda loud, blowing noise and for some reason(other than that I have a problem with laughing when I am not suppose to)I started laughing and I couldn't stop. The harder I tried to stop, the harder I laughed. It didn't take long for the teacher to ask me to leave.

I have learned that I need to get in the right frame of mind before I start the class. I really hope you start enjoying the yoga class. I go just once a week but I love it. If they offered it more I would go in a heart beat! Namaste

Lori said...

Speaking of Braja...clicked to post my last comment and what do you know the queen of yoga has spoken! Cool!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

You know I love you ..and would NEVER want you to "walk alone" but I am waving bye bye right now!
Namaste :)

binks said...

Clueless. My belly dance teacher wants me to go with her to a yoga retreat near Gainesville that costs $450. What??
She does several yoga poses to stretch us out before we dance and I outright laugh a lot at the poses I am encouraged to hold. I cannot under any circumstances bend down and touch my chin to my knees. There is a giant beach ball of fat created when I bend over. Pure crap and another way the skinnies discriminate. ;)

Reader Wil said...

I think that you are a great writer of very funny, amusing posts! I had to laugh so much at the description of the yoga class. These serious people are almost believers of the most rigid religion I know. Yes Chakra... What is it?? And do we all have one and where can it be??? Where is my chakra?? I can't find it! I need springcleaning my house, I might find it somewhere.

Anonymous said...

My daughter is into yoga and she knows all that terminology but Braja did a great job of explaining it. I have never really been interested in yoga until now because I want and need to take a class with you!

Debbie said...

I have actually fallen asleep in the dental chair while they cleaned my teeth. You can only imagine the level of my snoring during something like yoga! I have no answers for you:)

Anonymous said...

*Making notes*

You can't laugh at yourself or yell "Booyah!" in yoga class. So, I'm just guessing here, but cursing at the person who tells you to touch the toes you haven't seen in four years is out of the question, too?

And I'm willing to bet there's no brownies or even mashed potatoes waiting at the end to reward your efforts.

Braja, you may have just met the one person who is not meant for yoga. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for taking a Yoga class. I'm WAY too scared to even try!

cheatymoon said...

I have yet to try a yoga class. I like doing yoga on my own. I think it helps me breathe so much better. I would say stick with it, but maybe find a class that is a better fit?

Anonymous said...

I tried a class once, but only because it was the only thing going on while hubby was in a meeting at a fancy hotel (and it was free). I use to scoff at "yogurt" lovers and think it was such a pansy exercise until..........I walked out of that hour long class on legs that felt like spaghetti and was so sore for 3 days I could barely breathe. Now I bow (as far as I can) to the yoga doers because it's not easy.

Thanks for the morning laugh because I got some great mental pictures with this post. LOL I'm still laughing.

Pseudo said...

Oh - you made me laugh so much with this post SMB! Loved the BOOOYAH! and the bellyfat comment : -) I find myself more and more often pondering sagging flesh when I stretch and bend.

I can't tell you anything that Braja did not cover, but am impressed you got so much out of her. I've been reading her posts and seeing her around the internet for awhile and have never seen such a long comment. I learned a lot.

On Fit Tv they have "Namaste Yoga" which I followed when I was first recovering. They do not do too hard of positions. And I used to go to yoga in my twenties. For me to get the meditative effects, I like doing yoga in nature, or a yoga studio.

A friend does hot yoga. They keep the room temperature really high so you sweat like a pig. Imagaine the bend with salty sweat running towards your mouth.

Lo said...

god, yoga is something i've been trying to do for years. for ten years, actually. i just can never get into it and i think it's bc i just never find the right instructor. i'm starting it again soon with this like big head honcho yogi person so we'll see..... it's hard for me, and i'm super flexible. it's bc i just cannot stay silent that long. i always get the dirty looks. but really. my ass is in the air and i'm spread eagle and i'm supposed to be channeling my inner soul? really? cuz it looks more like a porn to me. just sayin'. namaste, booyah!

rachaelgking said...

I LUUUURVE me some yoga and pilates, especially hot yoga! That stuff is SERIOUS. It burns like 700 calories an hour!

Anonymous said...

I'd pee my yoga pants if I had to stretch as far as the girl in the picture for gawd sakes.

The Blue Ridge Gal

Anonymous said...

I do good to spell yoga let alone know anything about it! I would so be kicked out of class due to the laughing, yelling booyah with you, and passing gas!

thyme said...

I am certainly going to try what yelling booyah does. Like all the other commentors. Who knows, you may have started a whole new style!