Saturday, November 22, 2008


Goodfather of Goodfather Blog asked a question the other day. Faced with the possibility of losing his job in a failing economy and seeing it as an opportunity to reinvent himself, he asked, "Are you doing what you want? If you could choose anything for a job, what would it be?" I commented with lightning speed as I usually do without giving it much thought but the question has haunted me. It comes in the middle of the night. It whispers in my ear while I'm driving down the turnpike. I'm being haunted by the Goodfather Ghost.

I have a great job. I am blessed with an employer that appreciates me and my abilities. I would be a fool if I didn't see that alone as the gift that it is. I would be an even bigger fool to even consider a voluntary career change while we are experiencing this temporary economic slump. (I am nothing if not a cockeyed optimist.) But still the question is begging to be answered properly. When I was younger, I always thought that I wanted to be a teacher. Fortunately for me and my would-be students I realized early on that I really only like good kids. Don't get me wrong, I love mischievous kids. I love the stinkers. Who I can't tolerate are the disrespectful, smart mouth (imagine that) kids that are so prevalent in today's schools. I don't know but I'm pretty sure you have to teach them all, not just the good ones. I am proud to say that my oldest daughter is a teacher and my youngest is currently majoring in elementary education. They are both better women than I will ever be.

I took an English elective in high school called Write On. Each day we were instructed to write an essay. Almost everyone who took the class became frustrated with writing an essay every single day. Not me, I loved it. The thought of pursuing writing as a career never occurred to me. I didn't go to college. I got my MRS. Degree right out of high school. I didn't take the opportunity to explore my options. Not that it matters much as I don't think I possess the talent of a true writer. But the bug persists.

Once I had kids, I was always telling them that I was going to write a book. Whenever some silly moment would present itself, D2 would often comment jokingly, "I bet she's going to put this in her book." I have the outline for a children's book completed. The book itself will probably go to the grave with me. I am always scouting locations for writing. I found the perfect location on our trip out west. We came upon one of the most serene, breath taking places on the planet and stopped for pictures and a rest for the buttocks. The thought popped into my head to send the others on their way and I could just stay there in that lovely spot on a blanket of soft cushy grass instead of a brick that posed as a motorcycle seat and write my long awaited book. Of course I didn't even mention this to anyone else because no one ever takes me seriously when I talk about writing including myself.

Now remember that Goodfather's question didn't include anything about qualifications. He simply asked, what would I do if I could do anything I wanted. I guess my answer would have to be that I want to write. I can't believe I just said that out loud! Or… umm… in print?

So a writer I will be. The following is a list of ways I can feed my passion while not giving up my day job:

  • I've become a blogger. What? You hadn't heard? Oh yeah, I'm big into blogging. And I have followers. Ten, I think. I'm not sure what that means though. I keep looking over my shoulder and I never see them.
  • I can write complaint letters to companies whose customer service is less than satisfactory.
  • I can continue my daily email war with Nole Boy while coming up with new and better ways to entertain, amaze, WOW and frustrate him with my musical preferences.
  • And last (seriously, last) but not least, I can write my own obituary. HUH? I came across this delightful obituary in the Palm Beach Post. (I don't read the obits, I get feeds in my Google reader) I want to be like Dysie. I never knew this woman but I want to be like her. (And it wouldn't suck to have her money either) Without further ado, I give you, Dysie…..***drumroll, please***

Palm Beach Daily News

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dysie Davie, a longtime Palm Beach resident, died Saturday, leaving behind a fabulous obituary that she wrote herself. We couldn't imagine doing a better job for her than she did for herself.

Here it is, in its entirety, unedited.

"Diana Marion Wing Davie, 'Dysie,' passed away at her home in Palm Beach on November 15. Mrs. Davie was born in New York City, New York, and the date is no one's damn business. Dysie survived all four husbands, namely to wit: John Kress "Jake" Williams, "Hot Dog" Chandore, Craig Mitchell, and last, but not least, E.T. Bedford "Buddy" Davie. Dysie credits this to lots of partying, full-bodied wines, expensive vodka, and dealing with everyday life and people, no matter what you are dealt.

"Dysie and her last husband, Buddy, of 44 years (the longest lasting of all four marriages) owned and managed '343' on Worth Avenue, an exquisite custom jewelry and objects d'art emporium. Mrs. Davie, responsible for all custom jewelry designs, was never given full recognition due to Buddy always taking credit for her ideas. Mrs. Davie was a member of the Sailfish Club, the B&T, and the Everglades Club in Palm Beach. Dysie will be well-remembered for her engaging sense of humor, her gracious generosity, and her fabulous luncheons at the Sailfish Club and dinner parties at home for her many friends. Kassatly's Inc. thanks her mostly for her generosity.

"She is survived by her son, Stuart Wing Williams, his wife Jill, and their entire brood; stepchildren E.T. Bedford Davie Jr. and Deidre Davie Quonbeck, their spouses, children, grandchildren, and whatever doodley dums are out there.

"Mrs. Davie will be interred in the family plot in Willowbrook Cemetery in Westport, Conn., across the street from her beloved Buddy, as a plot next to him was not made available. Donations to be made to Dysie's household staff, namely; Helen Grenier, house manager extraordinaire; Diane Kirkham, daily shopping companion; Nancy Roach, Peggy Kelly and Suzanne Beck, outstanding nursing team; and Brenda Woodward, weekly party organizer."

Wasn't she FABULOUS!


I hope that I won't get in trouble for copying this from the newspaper into my blog. If this is a problem, let me know quick so I can pull it. Do you think they would let me bring my laptop to jail?


Anonymous said...

what a brilliant idea...write your own obituary before you go and put whatever you want in it. That's leaving on your own terms and there's nothing wrong with that. I just wished she had told us what she really thought of the 4 husbands. That might have been even more entertaining.

And writing an essay a day...sounds like work to me. I've decided i'm more a multi-media kind of girl. My brain doesn't hurt as much when i use some pretty pictures to fill some of the space :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm going to have to write my own obit now. I want to be sure it says what I want it to say, and maybe I'll have to change it once a decade or something. I love this woman. Wish I had known her.


Anonymous said...

And by the way, I think you're a terrific writer. If writing is a dream of yours, go for it! You're never too old for it, and you certainly have the sticktoitiveness for it -- primary example is your daily blog. If you need any pointers about the writing life, head over to my writer's blog:


Vodka Mom said...

I LOVE that damn obituary!!!! I am writing my own RIGHT NOW.

I loved your post!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for the link! Sorry to haunt you ;).

You are a writer. I like your writing! I guess the trick is getting paid for it, heh.

Great obit! I'm with Vodka Mom, I'm going to write mine too.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Thistle-I don't think she could have fit all the info about her 4 marriages in the obituary. Too bad she didn't write a book.

Nana-Wasn't she great! I'm going to check out your writers blog too.

VM-Thanks, Can't wait to see your obit! Maybe we should start a meme for this. LOL

GF-You're welcome. Yeah I definitely think we should do the obits as a meme!

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to live a life I will be proud to write about in my obit. Wouldn't it be grand, though, if someone else could value your worth as much as you do--when you're really honest with yourself and let yourself realize the good things you have done without the requisite negative commentary?

Pseudo said...

Dysie is on to something. I've often thought of having my students do some kind of assignment like this. Speaking of my students, yeah, SMB, they make you work with them all. The actual worse part though? The disrespectful kids have pain in the ass parents who you have to work with too.

Pseudo said...

BTW, where is the photo? It's gorgeous.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Laura-Amen! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you'll come back and visit again.

Pseudo-I think that's a great idea but might also be a touchy subject with all the teen suicides?
The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. PITA kids, PITA parents.
The picture is the spot that I mentioned where I wanted to stay and write. I will write more about it later in my continuing saga of the bike trip.

Anonymous said...

I love this! And she looks so good in a pic that was obviously taken when she was a bit older. I'll bet she was a ball to the end.

I love reading your blog. Remember, the only thing that makes you NOT a writer, is if you don't write. Don't think you have that problem. LOL.

I don't think anyone will arrest you for bestowing such honor on one of their loved ones. Just in case, you can only take a laptop to jail if it comes in the original package from the manufacturer. LOL. (Don't ask)

Anonymous said...

You should finish that book and follow it up with many others. You are THAT good.

I need to write my own Obit so I'll know no one said anything to embarrass me. :) For real. I worry about that stuff.

Anonymous said...

Wow...that's classic! Sounds like she was quite the card.

And what are you talking about? You ARE a writer. I love reading your stuff!

The Daily Rant said...

This is great! I am a little too young I think to be writing my obituary, but unfortunately I had to write one for my father two years ago - and I think it came out pretty damn good. He would have liked it.

I seriously think if you must have an obit, it should be one that fits the person you were and make people not only cry, but laugh too. I dislike the ones that are so cut and dry with just dates and who they left behind written like a checklist.

I think I might just write my own anyway....or maybe even start putting together a video so my mourners have something to watch when I'm gone! lol

Great post. Here's to women like Dysie!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Ladybeams-I wish I had known her too. She kind of reminds me of my mother, Lucy.

MLS-Awww shucks! I knew I liked you for a reason. LOL
Now, don't worry. If you don't get one done before you time comes, I'll write it. I promise to keep it good! *wink*

Fancy-She was not the typical Palm Beacher, that's for sure. Thank you for your kind words.

TDR-I completely agree. Now that I've seen this, I really think it's the way to go. Write you own and leave 'em laughing thru their tears.

Lori said...

What do you mean, you not a writer? Of course you are! You might be an unpaid writer but your a writer none the less and a great one at that. I loved this post.

What a great woman this Dysie was and how clever of her to write her own obit. I think you now have us all going in our brains of what we would like to write for our own. I just might have to do that. I have seen a few obits like this and have always thought how cool that was because they said so much more about the person then most do. And I like the idea of making people smile and laugh and remembering you for the way you were. Awesome.

I'm with mid-life slices in that I really should get on this because I don't want anything embarrassing writen about me. If you could hear my children talk and tell stories about me(nothing bad, mind you), you would know why I fear this. Dear lord.

I really think you should start writing a book of some kind. I would be in line to buy it.
Since writing is one of you passion's I really think you should give yourself this pleasure in life. I know you say that you wouldn't have been a good teacher but I have a feeling that you would be. The apples do NOT fall far from the tree...look at your beautiful daughters.

You are still young and have lots of years to seek out this passion of writing. I can hardly wait to read your book!

Anonymous said...

I think, after reading her obit, that Dysie would be thrilled to have you immortalize her on your blog.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Smiles-Thank you for your encouraging words.
I think that what we need to do is live a life worthy of a great obituary. That is my goal.

Jan-Oh I hope so. What a fun woman she must have been.

Stepping said...

I like the idea of writing our own obits. I think I will start with mine and then if MLS doesn't get hers done you and I can team up and write one for her. **smile** That ought to get her on the ball.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

SteppinThru-I think that sounds like a splendid idea! LOL